All is not Lost
by njborba
Summary: Kara is reunited with the fleet, bringing tidings from Earth and a surprise that none of them could have expected. Post S3 final.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.  
**Summary:** Kara is reunited with the fleet, bringing tidings from Earth and a surprise that none of them could have expected.  
**A/N:** This is not at all what I imagine S4 will start off like but it's just fan fiction and it's fun to play. Please enjoy!

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**All is not Lost  
**By  
N. J. Borba

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Adama walked alongside Tigh as they made their way to the flight deck. "Did he say anything about what's going on?"

"Only that he was bringing in a Viper," the colonel replied. Tigh couldn't help feel a bit nervous beside the admiral. Everything he'd ever believed was uncertain at the moment. He couldn't imagine how his friendship with Bill Adama might change if he were revealed to be a Cylon. So he kept to business as usual. "The better question might be what was he doing out there? I thought Lee resigned."

"He did," the admiral replied, not wanting to expand on the subject. Everything that had happened over the last few weeks was a complete mess. He had no idea how to rectify any of it, and not being in control was something he didn't much care for. "Why are we bringing it in, was it crippled in the fight? What's so important that he called us in on it?"

The colonel shrugged. "All he said was that we should be down there when it landed."

"Has everyone on this ship gone insane?" Adama asked as they entered the flight deck. Tigh kept his mouth shut.

Tyrol and Cally were both on duty and personally escorted the Viper in with caution. A troop of Marines was also on hand, standing guard. Adama figured that had been Tigh's call, though he still didn't know why all the precautions were being made over a simple Viper landing. He watched as Lee eased out of his bird and dashed across the deck to join them.

"You're reading a life sign?" Lee asked Tyrol as they rolled a ladder up to the Viper. Apollo was both worried and confused. He still couldn't quite believe that he'd seen her face and heard her speak to him.

"Someone definitely piloted this thing in," the chief replied as the ladder stopped and was locked down.

Chief Tyrol looked at the markings and knew exactly whose Viper it was. A chill ran down his spin. It didn't seem possible that it was her bird, but recent events had tipped all possibilities and beliefs on end. They all watched as the canopy seal was broken; watched as the pilot inside slowly removed her helmet.

The initial joy she'd felt upon returning to the fleet and seeing Lee was quickly starting to ebb. Suddenly she felt the weight of her journey full force. All she'd wanted was to see Galactica again, to reassure herself. Now she was thoroughly nervous about what they'd all think. She watched every mouth on deck drop open as she stood to reveal herself fully to the crowd.

Lee's heart leapt into his throat. He met Kara at the bottom of the ladder and stood before her, mesmerized, scared and angry all at once. But he let it all go for a second as he wrapped his arms around her and held on tightly. He didn't care who was watching. For a split second, everything else around them faded. It was just Starbuck and Apollo again.

He pulled away slowly and looked her in the eye. "I've missed you," he whispered for her ears only. Three armed Marine's cocked their rifles and aimed them at Starbuck, putting a swift end to the reunion. Lee spun around to face his father. "Call them off," he demanded. "It's just Kara."

"I can't do that son," Adama replied, nodding for the Marine's to cuff her.

"This is crazy, what are you doing?" Lee was incensed as he watched them shackle her. "It's Kara, dad. She's alive and she…"

"Lee, she died," the old man interrupted. "You were there, you watched as her Viper exploded," he reminded his son, though it broke his heart to do so. "She is not the Kara you know."

"No, that's not true," he protested.

Starbuck was disoriented for a moment as they cuffed her. She tried to listen to what Adama was saying but something more important plagued her mind. She glanced toward her ship then to Lee again. "Lee, you have to check the Viper," she finally spoke. "Don't let them take me until you check the Viper," she insisted.

Adama walked a few steps to stand in front of her. "I don't know who or what you are, but you do not make demands here," he was angry at her for wearing the face of a woman he had loved like a daughter. He was angrier at himself for having shut Kara out of his life those last few months before her death.

She looked past the admiral. "Lee, check the Viper," she begged again. "Please."

"Take her," Adama instructed the Marine's.

"No," Lee countered the order, staring his father down. "Just wait a minute. What's a minute going to matter?" he asked, knowing he was already treading on very thin ice with the old man. Adama didn't have a chance to reply before his son took off up the ladder.

Lee froze at the top of the stairs and gazed down into the cockpit of the Viper Kara had piloted back to them. Crumpled up into a tiny ball, between the thrust peddle and the seat, was a child. A small, blonde haired and very scared looking little girl. He slipped into the seat, carefully straddling the child.

"Hey there," he whispered as he placed a hand gently on her shoulder. An ear piercing cry shot through the flight deck, shocking the crap out of everyone gathered below the ship.

"Lee, what is going on up there?" Adama demanded.

His answer came from beside him, rather than from Lee. "She won't go to him willingly," Kara spoke up. "She'll only come to me. You have to let me go. Please, just let me get her and then you can throw me in whatever brig you want," she promised. "Please, admiral. She's scared."

Adama didn't have a clue as to what was going on. All he understood was that Lee was trying to coax something out of that Viper and it sounded like the cries of a very young, very frightened child. He looked to the woman who wore Starbuck's face. "If you try anything, those Marine's have orders to shoot," he warned as he waved one of them over to un-cuff her.

She nodded before jetting up the stairs. "Kara, what is going on?" Lee asked as she nearly climbed onto his lap to get close to the girl.

Kara ignored him as she ran a hand over the girl's soft hair. "Shh," she soothed. "Come on baby, its safe now. I promise you no one is going to hurt you," she continued to calm the child. The cries died out quickly as Kara fished the child out of the Viper. She carefully carried her down the steps, followed closely by Lee.

"Take the child," Adama instantly ordered Lee.

"What?" the younger Adama was tired of his fathers demands.

"She's mine," Kara announced. "My daughter."

"What?" Lee's head turned abruptly. He stared agape at her, trying to digest the unexpected news she'd just sprung. Everything had gotten out of control so quickly. It was all too much to take in.

"I don't care if she's Tigh's," the Admiral growled in frustration. "Lee, take the child," he ordered again.

Lee didn't budge. "I resigned; I don't take orders from you any longer," he bravely replied.

"Fine," Adama tightened his jaw and clenched fists at his sides. He glanced around the space for someone to carry out his task. "Saul, take the child," he finally demanded of the colonel.

Tigh shook his head. "Bill, I'm the last one you want…

"Would someone follow my damn order and take that child from her!" the old man shouted before Tigh could protest further.

The colonel reluctantly moved toward Kara. "I don't like this any more than you do," he said as he reached for the curled up girl. "Just hand her over, we don't need to make any more of a scene than necessary."

"If you hurt her, I will hunt you down," Starbuck warned. "And what I do to you will make you wish the Cylon's had taken both your eyes."

He swallowed a lump in his throat as she started the difficult task of untangling the girl from her arms. "Its okay baby, Tigh is going to take you somewhere safe. You'll be fine and I'll see you soon," she promised.

The girl didn't care. All the sweet words in the universe weren't going to make a difference. She hollered her head off as soon as Tigh took hold of her. He tried not to squeeze the girl too tightly as he attempted to keep her restrained. He also kept her at arms length to save his ear drums from rupturing.

"Take her to Cottle," Adama instructed Tigh as he watched the Marine's re-cuff Kara. "And throw her… throw that thing in the cell with the other one."

Lee watched helplessly as they drug Kara off. He didn't know what to believe any more.

xxx

Lee hadn't been allowed in the brig while the admiral questioned Kara, so he'd gone to sickbay instead. He paced a patch of metal decking and waited as Cottle went over tests on both the child and her mother. His step stopped for a moment. It seemed so foreign to think of Kara as anyone's mother.

Adama entered the area and moved toward Lee. "How is the child?"

"How is Kara?" the younger Adama instantly countered. He wasn't at all pleased with his father at the moment.

"That thing in the brig is not Kara," Adama calmly maintained.

Lee looked away, shaking his head at the stubborn old man. "Yeah, well that's still to be determined," he replied.

"Whatever she is, she won't talk," the admiral informed Lee.

"Really?" the sarcasm in Lee's voice was thick. "I don't imagine cuffing her, throwing her in the brig and taking the child away from her had anything to do with that," he turned to face his father again. "What is wrong with you? I know you mourned for her. So why are you acting like this?"

"I mourned for a woman I knew as Kara Thrace…" Adama replied with a hard tone even as his face faltered a little. "A woman who was the closest thing to a daughter I've ever had. I miss that person every day…" he admitted, the emotion finally pouring through. "Not that thing in our brig," he concluded.

"Kara is not a thing," Lee didn't let up. "We don't know that she's not Human…"

"She is," Cottle caught them both off guard. The doctor stood beside them with a lit cigarette dangling between his lips and two charts in hand.

"What?" they both questioned.

"She is Human," the doctor's gruff voice clarified. "The woman in your brig matches every DNA and blood sample we have on record for Kara Thrace. Even if those were altered, I've studied Cylon blood pathogens enough now to know that she's no Cylon," he informed them.

Lee tried not to appear smug. Adama had other questions. "And the child?"

Cottle arched his eyebrows and took a deep drag of his cigarette. "That's a slightly different story," he glanced down at one of the charts as he exhaled smoke.

"She's not Kara's?" Lee had heard from Sam about little Kacey, and how the Cylon's had tried to convince Kara of the child being hers. He wouldn't put it past them to try again.

"Oh, she is Captain Thrace's child. Attitude alone could have confirmed that," the doctor recalled having a heck of a time getting the girl under control. "Yes, biologically, she is Thrace's child. That's the good news."

"What's the bad news?" Adama steadied himself.

"She's also half-Cylon," Cottle revealed.

"Frak me," Lee swore under his breath. This time it hadn't been a lie.

Adama did his best to stay focused. "Can you determine how old the child is? She looks to be a toddler but Kara was only missing for a few weeks. Did Kara give birth to her? Is she growing faster than normal?" he questioned.

"As far as I can determine, the girl is approximately three years old. I found no evidence that she is growing faster than normal. I know that Hera has progressed, more or less, along the same lines of a human child. I can only assume the same can be said of Captain Thrace's daughter," Cottle took a breath. "As to the question of whether or not Thrace gave birth to the girl, I can't say. I'd have to do a thorough exam on the Captain. For now I suggest you return the girl to her mother and see if the captain will answer some of your questions."

"From what I've seen of the child, she's not very inclined to go with strangers," Adama noted warily.

"We had to sedate her," Cottle answered. "She'll be asleep another half hour or so, should be enough time to get her to the brig without incident."

"Lee…" Adama paused for a second, realizing that he'd been rather hard on the boy. "Would you carry her?" he decided to ask rather than demand.

The younger Adama followed a nurse back to where the girl was laying down on one of the medical beds. Given a chance to actually inspect her, Lee marveled at how much she looked like Kara. Even in sleep he could tell she had deep set eyes. Balled up hands were tucked up under a strong chin and there was a slight pout to her lips.

He carefully lifted the sleeping child and situated her across his chest. Her head lolled on his left shoulder and he wrapped strong arms around her. The admiral fell into step with them out in the corridor and they walked silently toward the brig. Several heads turned at the sight of seeing the two Adama's escorting a blonde-haired child through the Galactica. But no one said a word.

A Marine opened the brig door for them and Adama senior moved inside first, followed closely by Lee. The three of them made their way to the large cell that had originally been set up for Boomer, later housed the Sharon they now knew as Athena and currently impression a number six model.

Kara and Six were occupying opposite corners of the space. Six stood up the second they entered the outer chamber but Kara had her back to them and did not register their presence. As they entered the main cell, Adama ordered one Marine to stand guard over the Six. Lee eased his way in and moved toward Starbuck.

"Kara," he called to her.

"I'm not talking to anyone until I see my daughter again," she replied without moving an inch.

"Turn around, Kara," Adama spoke sternly but quiet enough so as not to rouse the child in Lee's arms.

She squared her shoulders in defiance. "I don't take orders from you any longer," she replied.

Lee and the admiral exchanged a look. Adama nodded for Lee to take charge. "I guess you really don't want to see your daughter that badly then, do you," he took a gamble and started to walk toward the door.

Kara turned around just in time to catch a glance of her daughter's head as it rested upon Lee's shoulder. She was on her feet in a second. "Wait!" she practically screamed the plea.

He did as she instructed and slowly turned to face her. He couldn't help the smile that came to his lips upon seeing her again. Lee felt the need to keep reminding himself that her being there wasn't just a dream. He'd had far too many similar ones over the weeks since she'd disappeared. It would take some time getting used to.

"What did you do to her?" worry edged Kara's voice as she cautiously moved toward them. She paid no attention to Adama as Lee easily passed the child over to her.

"She's fine," Lee assured her. "Cottle had to sedate her in order to take a blood draw. Apparently she's as feisty as her mother," he concluded.

Mother and child stood in the middle of the room. The child seemed to relax further, even though she was already asleep. And Kara was visibly more at ease with the girl in her arms. She stroked the little one's fine hair and whispered softly in her ear. It was not a manner in which any of them had ever seen Starbuck, the ace pilot, behave before. Adama finally ushered them out of the cell before their Cylon witness could overhear anything of a sensitive nature.

"We know you're not a Cylon," Adama quickly cleared that issue out of the way when they were free of the cell. "Will you answer some questions now?" he asked of Kara.

She set her jaw as she looked over at him. "Are you going to believe anything I have to say?" she challenged.

"Kara," Lee warned.

"No," Adama put a hand up. "I suppose I deserve that," he conceded as he looked Kara in the eye. His heart was filled with joy at the idea of having her back again. But his head was still filled with confusion. "I would like to listen to what it is you have to say," he honestly informed her, hoping to restore some small amount of trust between them.

"Okay," she nodded.

"Why don't we start with where you've been these last few weeks," Adama began.

Kara's eyes grew large. "Weeks?" she looked to Lee for some support but he seemed just as confused as she was. "What do you mean by a few weeks?" she questioned Adama.

"How long have you been gone, Kara?" Lee jumped in, curious about her odd reaction.

She looked down at the floor for a moment then closed her eyes. "I don't know exactly," she looked up again, having calmed some silent demon during the brief moment of darkness. "Their calendar year might have been different from ours, but my best estimate would be about four years," she revealed.

It was Lee and Adama's turn to be surprised. "Four years?" Lee tried to digest that news but he simply couldn't.

Adama hide his shock a little better, though he was literally shaking from the implications. "You said their calendar year was different. Whose calendar is that, Kara? Where have you been these past few we… years?"

Lee suddenly remembered what she'd said in the Viper before they'd landed. It had all slipped away once he'd arrived on deck and seen her, but it suddenly came back in a flash. Her smiling face, her Viper floating along with his, and she'd said something about finding…

"Earth," Kara verbally confirmed what she'd told him before.

The mention of Earth immediately put Adama on guard. He glanced around the space noticing a few Marine's were still present. "We need to talk somewhere much more private," he informed the two.

"No," Kara shook her head. "I'm… we're tired," she glanced down at her daughter. "I'd like a shower and a bunk. We can talk later."

Adama wasn't pleased that she was the one making demands, but he could tell that she was about ready to collapse. "I can arrange those things," he agreed, "But first you'll go to sick bay. I want Cottle to run a full medical exam."

"What?" she looked to Lee again. "No. Lee, please…"

Lee shrugged. "I'm afraid I don't have much authority around here at the moment," he confessed. He'd already used up more than he should have had, and truth be told, he'd feel better knowing she was okay.

"This point is non negotiable," Adama maintained. "Lee will watch the girl. Then I promise you'll have time to rest before we talk again," he vowed.

Kara could tell that she wasn't going to get around the medical exam. Anxiety pooled in her stomach as she handed her daughter off to Lee. "Keep her in a fairly small room," she instructed. "If she wakes up, don't try to comfort her, it will only scare her. She'll seek out a safe place and stay there until I come for her," Kara concluded.

Lee nodded, feeling slightly ill. For some reason it all sounded very routine. Suddenly he didn't have a very good feeling about how Earth had treated Kara, unless she hadn't been to Earth at all. It could have just been an elaborate Cylon trick. Both possibilities made him nauseous.

xxx

True to what Kara described, the little girl had woken up and wanted nothing to do with him. Lee had taken her to his private quarters where she'd promptly scrambled under the bunk and hadn't made a single sound since. He was grateful when Kara finally entered the room an hour later. A smile curled his lips again as he watched her.

Her hair was wet and she was wearing a long-sleeved Galactica t-shirt and some baggy sweat pants. But Lee didn't think she'd ever looked more gorgeous. He focused back on her hair for a moment, realizing for the first time how long it had grown. A few weeks ago it had been its usual close crop. Now it looked as though at least a year's growth had taken place. He guessed that was one point for her Earth visit story, but not enough to draw any conclusions.

"Got your shower," he observed, keeping the conversation light instead. She nodded a confirmation before glancing around the small room. "Under the bunk," Lee answered her silent query.

Lee watched with curiosity as Kara got down on hands and knees and easily coaxed the girl out from her hiding place. "It's safe now," was all she'd said, as if it were a secret code phrase.

Again he found himself sick with worry but he didn't want to push matters at the moment. Kara looked so tired he was surprised she was still standing. "There are clean sheets on the bunk," he let her know. "And I'll be bunking in with some of the pilots, until dad kicks me off Galactica all together. So, the room is yours for now," he clarified.

Kara nodded her understanding. "Lee, why are you… why did you resign?" She climbed atop his bunk and settled the child in her lap. The girl was still awake, wide-eyed and seemingly paying close attention to Lee.

"It's not important right now," he dismissed the idea of getting into all that as he pulled a metal chair over. He had something else on his mind as he watched the girl watching him. "We haven't been properly introduced," he spoke directly to the child, but kept his distance. "My name is Lee."

The girl looked up at her mother with even wider eyes and Kara actually smiled for the first time since she'd arrived. "You remember Lee don't you?" she asked. The child nodded.

"Remember me?" Lee was lost.

"On Earth, at the bad place," Kara began. "I used to tell her stories about Galactica; stories about you, the admiral, Helo and president Roslin, Sam. But you were always her favorite, wasn't he Erin?" the girl nodded again. She shyly curled up closer to Kara, stuck two fingers in her mouth but still kept a close eye on Lee.

He tried not to dwell on her use of the phase, _bad place_. But he was mentally cataloging every bit of information for further questioning. "So she does have a name?" Lee observed.

"Of course," Kara replied.

Lee smiled at the girl but she didn't respond to his action in any way. He leaned forward to reach for the blanket at the end of the bunk, but was stopped short by Erin's sudden jolt. She pulled toward her mother ever further. Lee shifted back, resting on the chair again. He was quite sorry that he'd upset her.

Kara flashed him an apologetic look before she tended her daughter again. "It's okay," she insisted. "Remember I told you Lee is safe. Lee won't hurt us," she kissed Erin on top of her head.

"Don't worry about it," Lee insisted. "The blanket is there," he motioned toward it. "If you need it."

"Thank you, Lee."

He sat and watched the child some more, noticing how quiet she was. Lee realized he hadn't heard her speak at all. She certainly had a voice and a loud one at that, but she'd yet to utter any words. She was clearly more than just a shy child. "What's wrong with her?" Lee couldn't help but ask.

Kara's eyes narrowed at him. "Nothing," she was quick to jump on the defensive.

"Aside from the fact that her father is a Cylon," the words were out of his mouth before he even realized.

Her heart sunk as the words hit her. Lee was the one person she'd hoped would understand, which was silly considering his adamant dislike of Sharon. Although a lot of that was born of Boomer's shooting the old man. Somehow, though, she'd hoped her friend would be a little more understanding when it came to her child. "I'm tired, Lee," she looked away.

"I didn't mean to…" Lee felt remorse for the way the words had come out. He honestly didn't know how he felt about her child. "Kara, I'm sorry," he apologized. "Look, I don't know much about kids. But I do know that most her age are running around laughing and playing, not hiding under beds or cringing every time someone comes near them. I'm just worried about you… both of you."

She believed his concern was genuine and felt her resolve begin to waver again. "Most kids her age were _taught_ to run around and play. All I've ever taught her is to hide and be quiet," Kara admitted with a heavy heart. "But I did it to save her life, Lee. And I'd do it all again if I had to. There are things you don't know, things you can't understand," her voice hitched as she stopped herself from saying too much. "I really am tired."

Lee nodded, seeing that Erin had already closed her eyes. He wanted to say more, hear more, do more. But they both needed rest and he needed to see his father before the idea of sleep could even enter his thoughts. He stood for a minute more as Kara closed her eyes and slid down further in the bunk. Lee managed to grab the blanket without startling either of them. He gently draped it over the pair and silently slipped out of the room.

xxx

Adama's quarters were quiet as Lee entered. Cottle was already there and the two older men looked up as he neared. The doctor put out a cigarette and stood, dropped a file on Adama's desk and left it. He nodded at Lee as he passed and continued out the hatchway. The old man motioned for Lee to take a seat.

Lee tapped the pale colored file between them. "You already know what it says," he surmised.

"Yes," the admiral replied softly. "You can read it if you want but I'll warn you, it won't be easy to digest."

A shiver came over him. "Why don't you just tell me the important stuff," Lee swallowed as he pushed the file away and leaned back in his seat. From the look on his father's face, he really didn't know what to expect.

The admiral sighed. "Kara _has_ given birth to a child," he began. Lee had a feeling that was the good news. "Though Cottle can't be certain when or if it was the girl who is with her now."

"Erin," Lee responded.

"Excuse me?"

Lee looked his father in the eye. "She has a name, its Erin," he informed his father.

"I see," Adama didn't know why it mattered, except that it did. Somehow a name meant that she was a person, not just the half-Cylon child of one of his pilots. It would be that much harder to distance him self from Kara and the girl.

"How is Kara?" Lee asked. "She's been hurt in some way, hasn't she?" it was painful to ask such a question. Kara was the strongest person he knew, even more so than himself. But she was putting on an even braver face than usual, which usually meant something was wrong.

The information in Cottle's report was still fresh in the admiral's mind. He was actually grateful for that fact because he didn't think reading it again would help relay the news. "Several healed fractures, a few still mending. Evidence of cracked ribs, numerous lacerations and plenty of scars that aren't there by accident," Adama dutifully reported, without going into too much detail. "The Cylons really did a number on her," he concluded.

"The Cylons?" the only thing keeping Lee from punching a hole in the bulkhead was his fathers accusation. "But she claims she was on Earth. When we were out there flying she said she was going to lead us all to Earth," he recalled.

"She's never been to Earth, Lee," Adama gripped the edge of Cottle's file. "The Cylons have obviously brainwashed her into thinking that she was on Earth, that she has a child…"

"Cottle confirmed the girl's parentage," Lee countered. "Are you saying you don't believe him? What about the four years she thinks have passed? What about that three year old child? Do you believe all of that is a lie?"

Adama gripped the file in his fist. "I don't know what I believe," he crumpled the report. "Cottle's word, this report, her word, that… that living, breathing child," he tossed the file across the room, barely missing Lee's head. The old man abruptly stood and rested his hands against the desk's edge. He slapped down hard upon its surface, startling Lee. "I don't know what I believe any more!" he shouted in frustration.

Lee opened and closed his mouth several times, not knowing what to say. He understood his father's frustration. Most of it had already been rattling around in his own head. He leaned forward placing his elbows upon the desk and resting his head in his hands. "So what do we do?" he finally asked.

The old man breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. He retook his seat and stared across the desk at his son. "I promised Kara rest," he replied. "We seek our answers in the morning."

* * *

To be continued… maybe, hopefully, we shall see :) 


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.

**All is not Lost  
Part 2**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Adama stood in front of the mirror in his private bath. He ran a hand over the day's growth on his checks. He'd only managed to sleep an hour or two after finally allowing his mind to shut down long enough to rest. Back in the conscious world again, he was no closer to any answers than he had been the night before. And there were still so many questions to be asked.

He decided to ignore the stubble and wandered into the adjacent office with only his tanks and trousers in place. "Madam President," he was surprised to find her standing quietly by his desk, though he probably shouldn't have been. She'd been one of the many things on his mind while sleep had been elusive.

"It's nice to know that you still remember that's my title," Laura Roslin took a seat without invitation. She aimlessly twirled a pair of glasses in her left hand. "Of course, it would be nicer if you gave it some respect," she looked pointedly at him.

Adama pursed his lips and sunk into the seat across from her. "I'm not sure I follow," he danced around her meaning, though he had a fairly decent idea of what was on her mind.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about, _Admiral_," all niceties were promptly dropped from her tone.

The old man cringed slightly. No one else in the fleet had the power to make him feel quite so small, although his son was certainly getting better at it. "You're talking about Starbuck," he easily guessed.

"So it's true then?" she sat back as he nodded a confirmation. "And why exactly is it that I had to find out about this from a morning broadcast of the _Colonial Gang_?"

"The press has gotten a hold of it?" he should have known it would be impossible to hold something so important back. The flight deck had been littered with personnel when Kara landed. He liked to think that those under his command would know well enough to keep their mouths shut, but he'd been proven disappointed on that front a number of times. It was only a matter of time before it got out. He'd been foolishly hoping for longer than half a day.

"They have speculation without confirmation, which means they're having a field day with it," Laura confirmed. "The more important question here is why didn't I know?"

"It was late," Adama lamely replied. He knew it wasn't the truth and he knew she'd see through him in an instant.

"Its space, it's never too late out here or too early… always only dark," her voice was distant for a moment. She leaned in and looked him in the eye. "I won't stand for this," she warned.

Adama sighed. "I made a mistake in not reporting to you right away," he tried to placate.

"Oh yes, you made a mistake. But it's not the one you're thinking," her voice grew somber; hands fell to rest in her lap. "I will not stand for you trying to shelter me. I didn't confide in you about my cancer returning just so you could treat me like some helpless child. I am still the president of this fleet," she reminded him with a sharp tone. "I expect to be treated as such."

Feeling slightly uncomfortable in the wake of her accusations, he rose to his feet and moved toward the small table behind his desk. With his back to her he took a few moments to collect his thoughts. Two glasses of water were poured and he returned, offering one to her as he retook his seat. They sat for a quiet moment and sipped.

Adama hadn't even realized what he'd done, leaving her out of the loop. She was right too. Starbuck's return _had_ happened very suddenly, but subconsciously he realized he was trying to keep Laura stress-free, as much as possible. Just like he'd gotten too close to his crew over the years, he'd gotten much too close to her. And being close to Laura Roslin scared him more than just about anything else.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

She watched him as they sat and drank. Laura had come to know his moods fairly well. What she saw in him at the moment was more than a man who had been called out by the president. He was subdued, too quiet and not the picture of perfect military standard with his morning stubble and sloppy tanks. Her eyes searched him for an answer but none was forthcoming. Instead she focused in on a crumpled file upon his floor.

Setting her glass down, Laura fetched the file and returned to her seat. A hand rested upon its cream-colored surface and her eyes rose to meet his. He showed no outward sign of emotion but she could feel the sorrow and confusion radiating from him. She slipped her glasses on, opened the file and read. Several long minutes later, she closed the file and left it resting in her lap.

"What has she told you, personally?" her voice was softer.

Adama ran a finger along the line of condensation on his glass. "She claims to have visited Earth," he revealed.

The shock was evident on Laura's face. "Earth?" she took a deep breath. "The thirteenth colony that we've been hoping to find the last two years; she's been there? How is that possible?"

"I don't…" he stopped himself from saying that he didn't think Kara had actually been to Earth, because he just wasn't certain. "I don't know," he settled for a simple truth instead.

"And the child?"

"Half-Cylon according to Cottle," Adama wondered why he couldn't bring himself to say half-Human. He'd seen her, blond haired and looking so much like Kara it was eerie. "I don't know how that's possible either," he easily admitted. Truth was, he didn't really want to know that detail.

Laura shook her head in disbelief, tapping a finger against the file. "I want to speak with her."

"I promised her rest."

"I want to speak with her," she repeated with a firmer tone, making her demand known.

He nodded.

xxx

Kara woke with a jolt, her eyes wide and alert. It took her a second to remember where she was. She glanced over at the chronometer on Lee's desk. The realization that she'd slept for almost seven hours scared her. In nearly two years time she hadn't allowed herself more than an hour or two of sleep at a time.

She turned to find Erin with her back cuddled up to the wall. Messy strands of white-blonde hair were covering up some of her tiny face. But Kara could see that the little girl's eyes were open, staring at her mother intently. She motioned for the child to come closer and Erin readily complied, snuggling up to her mother with ease.

"Did you sleep well, baby?" Kara looked down at the child in her arms and smiled. "Mama did," she added. They laid there for a while longer, both content in the silent room.

Soon enough her daughter grew restless and pointed emphatically at her tummy. Kara grinned as she felt her own stomach roll. "I'm hungry too. I guess we ought to get up and stop being such lazy girls, hmm?" she tickled little Erin's stomach and was rewarded with a genuine burst of laughter. Kara froze, staring down at the grinning child. It had been a long time since she'd heard her baby laugh.

She brushed a lone tear off her cheek and tossed their blanket back. Kara swung her legs over the side of the bunk and looked to Erin who was sitting up on her knees. "It's going to be a big day, isn't it?" she asked.

Erin nodded her head. She understood a lot more than most people could imagine. Kara knelt down in front of the child so they were at eye level. "It's okay to talk here," she let the girl know. "The admiral and Lee are a little uncertain right now, which we can't really blame them for. And Roslin, well, she won't be happy either. But they won't hurt us, I know they won't," she insisted, hoping to the gods that she was right.

Whatever ugliness there still was between her and Adama, she honestly didn't think he'd allow Roslin to toss her daughter out an airlock. She kissed Erin atop her head. "You take your time, okay," Kara insisted as she stood again and helped her daughter hop down off the bunk.

Kara led the girl over to a small wash basin in the room. The private quarters were bigger than most but still didn't have full shower facilities. She grabbed a cloth and wet it then went about washing Erin up the best she could, stripping the child's clothes off in the process. Kara didn't think dragging the girl into the crew wash room was a very good idea just yet.

When Erin was fully cleaned up and Kara had washed her own face, she suddenly realized that neither one of them had any clothing to change into. She at least had fairly clean ones that she'd been given after her shower the night before. However, the pair of shorts and ratty t-shirt Erin had been wearing were too dirty to put back on. So she rummaged through Lee's locker, found a clean tank and slipped it over Erin like a dress.

"You look like a refugee, Kid," Kara shook her head, trying not to give up hope. She couldn't help but wonder how the hell she was going to explain everything she'd been through.

A rap at the hatch startled them both. It wasn't easy to suddenly be back on Galactica with such freedoms as deciding whether or not to open a closed door. They'd spent a long time with very little privacy; having doors thrust open and people barging in on them at all hours. Kara made her way toward the door while Erin stood behind her.

Figuring it was probably Lee, she swung it open without too much concern. "Helo?" she was pleasantly surprised.

Karl Agathon stood for a moment looking down at her, shaking his head. "Best friends are always the last to know," he finally smirked as he wrapped his arms around her and held on tight for a second. He pulled back and looked at her again. She'd felt so thin in his arms and worry instantly clouded his head. But he put on a good show as he held up a small sack. "Everything someone back from the dead could need, and more," he announced.

Kara was grateful for his lighthearted manner. He hadn't started off by bombarding her with questions. Instead he pulled food out of the bag and clean clothes too. She felt like giving him another hug. There was a gentle tug at the back of her right pant leg and when she looked down Erin stuck her head out from behind.

Karl smiled at the girl who quickly retreated behind Kara again. He chuckled as he fished through the sack some more. "There's a clothing exchange within the fleet. Sometimes Sharon sneaks bigger stuff for Hera, just so we don't have to go so often. I brought a few things from our stash that I thought might fit her," he pulled out some small denim overalls and a few shirts, even real underwear. "She is potty trained, right? We're having a heck of a time with Hera on that front," he spoke as if she hadn't been away at all and they were just two friends having a simple conversation about their kids.

"She is, thank you," Kara appreciatively accepted the clothing and the gift of his friendship. She quickly went about properly dressing the little girl and then sat Erin down with some food.

Karl took up residence beside Kara on the edge of Lee's bunk. "So, what happened?" he finally asked. "We thought you were dead."

"So I've heard." Kara devoured the nutritional mush that her friend had brought. "Still eating the yummy algae, I see."

"Still?"

She looked up at him. "Sorry, I keep forgetting that only a few weeks have passed for you all," she watched as his eyes narrowed in further confusion. "Never mind," she shrugged it off, setting her meal down. "Before things get any more awkward here," Kara nodded toward Erin. "She's my daughter, I gave birth to her and she is half-Cylon. She was born on Earth where I've been for the past four years, which somehow only equals weeks around here. I'm still foggy on that one myself," she took a long breath. "And I'm sure I'll have to explain all of this another billion times before I get anyone to take me seriously," Kara concluded.

"I believe you," Karl easily replied.

"Yeah, sure you do," she picked her bowl up and took another bite.

He put a hand on her arm and looked her in the eye. "Kara, if you say you've been to Earth then I believe you," Karl insisted.

It was hard for her to accept his words. Even though he'd long been a friend, her recent experiences had left her a little on the defensive. "You don't know what that means to me," she finally allowed herself to believe him.

"I think I might have some idea," Karl countered. "I know you and Sharon have never been the best of friends, but you stood by me through a lot of the flack I caught for being with her. I haven't forgotten that."

"Oh lords!" Kara nearly choked on a bite of algae as a sudden realization hit her. She glanced over at Erin. "I never thought Sharon and I would end up in the same _mommy & me_ group," a hand came to her mouth as she tried not to laugh.

It was a fruitless gesture, which proved to be unnecessary as Helo began to chuckle. Kara quickly joined in and found herself in near hysterics after a short time. But the laughter swiftly rolled into tears and before she could stop herself she was sobbing on his shoulder. Karl wrapped his arms around her and let her cry.

Kara felt like a fool as she finally pulled away and collected herself, wiping away the remaining tears. Another knock sounded at the hatch and she welcomed the distraction. Thinking it surely had to be Lee this time, she was once again proven wrong as Sam stood there in the doorway, his mouth agape.

"I…" Sam was understandably flustered. His tall form slouched a bit as he leaned against the hatch. He pointed aimlessly to the air behind him. "I just ran into Lee but I honestly didn't believe him," his hands went slack at his sides. "Gods, Kara…"

Karl stood and moved toward the door. He gave Kara a quick one-armed hug and whispered in her ear. "Guess I was wrong, seems the husband is the last to know," he gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze before he finally slipped past Sam and down the corridor.

She stood for a moment longer, not sure what to do. "Hey Sammy," Kara finally greeted the man. He still looked the same as the day she'd married him in an attempt to distance herself further from Lee. An innocent bystander of their explosive tug-o-war game.

"Is she mine?" Sam asked as he stared intently at Erin.

Kara thought it was an odd thing to dwell on first off. No hello, where have you been, it's so good to see you again. She led him inside and closed the hatch. "Maybe you really are the last to hear this but her father is a Cylon, Sam," she kept her tone neutral, steadying herself for what he'd think of that news.

"So she's not mine?" his voice was awkward; choppy and uncertain.

"No," Kara shook her head, eyeing him warily.

"You're sure?" His eyes still hadn't left Erin for a second.

"Sam, I just told you her father is a Cylon," Kara repeated what she believed to be vital information in the process of eliminating Sam from the daddy gene pool. "What's going on with you, you're acting very strange," she figured it was mostly just a reaction to seeing her again, but it was a little unsettling.

He finally turned around to look at her. "What if I told you I was a Cylon?" Sam blurted the words out before he could think to stop himself.

Kara's jaw tightened. Anger bubbled to the surface and her eyes grew cold. "Do you think this is some sort of a joke?" she tried not to raise her voice too much because of Erin's close proximity, but she wasn't amused. "That's real nice, Sam. Make jokes. That's great," Kara walked away from him.

"Kara, I…" Sam felt his heart beat faster. What could he tell her? That he might be a Cylon? That he didn't know for sure? He moved to stand in front of her again. "I thought you were dead," he reached out and stroked her cheek.

She closed her eyes for a second, remembering the feel of his skin upon hers. Kara pulled away from his touch and took a step back. "Sam, things can't be the same as they were before, too much has happened." She kept forgetting that only a few weeks had passed for all of them. Their grief was still new. She'd had years to reconcile things within herself.

"What does that mean? We're still married," he pointed out. Sam reached for her left arm. "Or does this mean nothing to you now?" he asked as he pulled the sleeve of her t-shirt up. His eyes grew wide. In place of her winged marriage tattoo was a mangle of angry scars that ran up and down the length of her arm. "What the frak happened to you, Kara?"

The room's hatch opened with a perfunctory groan of metal upon metal. Lee poked his head into the room and paled when he saw Sam standing there in front of Kara. His eyes instantly fell to the scars on her arm. He'd heard his father's words but seeing the evidence first hand was far worse. He swallowed a lump in his throat as she quickly covered her arm up.

Lee looked away from her and greeted Sam with a nod, trying to pretend nothing was amiss. It was hard to see the two of them together again. He'd been so happy the previous night, hugging her and talking, even if briefly and not so amicably at times. Then he'd run into Sam outside the mess hall earlier and reality had kicked him in the teeth.

She and Sam were still married and he had a wife somewhere who he'd done a very poor job of honoring the last few weeks. It was all so confusing. He was never supposed to love Kara but it had happened. And her death had been his undoing. Now that she was back, he wanted so badly to make her understand that they'd been given another chance. Yet, despite that yearning, he wouldn't stand in the way if she still wanted Sam.

"The admiral and president Roslin would like to speak with you," Lee finally relayed, still in perfect military stature despite his civilian attire. A moment later Sam brushed past him, leaving without a word. Lee looked to Kara. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"I think we were done talking," Kara replied as she directed Erin to clean her hands and face at the wash basin. She didn't even bother asking Lee to leave as she quickly changed into the casual clothing Karl had brought for her.

Lee tried not to stare at the marks on her body but found it difficult. The same scars he'd seen on her arm marred every tattoo that had once adorned her body. It looked as though someone had done a very poor job of trying to remove them. There were also other small and large patches of damaged skin, too numerous to count.

When she was done, Kara stood before him in military issue cargo pants and another long-sleeved T-shirt. Her hair was free and flowed just past her shoulder blades. She grabbed Erin's hand in hers and guided the little girl past Lee and out the door.

Lee followed them out and walked beside Kara. "Shouldn't you, uh, carry her?" he motioned toward Erin who was clinging to one of Kara's pant legs with a death grip. "There are a lot of people around here," he pointed out.

"She does know how to walk and it's not likely that she'll run off. You said so yourself, she's not normal, not like other kids, right?" Kara couldn't help throwing that back in his face.

"Kara, I'm sorry about that. But I do remember some rather loud tantrums that she was throwing last night," he reminded her.

"I'm sorry too. I don't mean to pick a fight with you," she admitted. She glanced down at her daughter. "Erin's been frightened for a long time and with good reason. But she needs to start realizing that she's safe here. As long as I'm within sight and no one touches her, she'll be fine," Kara insisted.

"Okay," Lee accepted her word but he still kept turning around every few seconds to make sure Erin was there.

"Lee, would you stop doing that," Kara admonished as she spotted him watching the girl again. She grabbed his arm and physically turned him, making him face forward. "Erin knows that you're nervous, which is making her nervous and that makes me…"

"Nervous?" he offered.

"No, it makes me want to knock both your heads together," she flashed him a cheeky grin. "Sometimes it scares me how much her personality reminds me of you. Stubborn and…"

"Wait a minute," Lee stopped her. "Between the two of us, I don't think I'm the one with the market cornered on stubbornness," he declared.

Kara laughed out loud at that. And Lee was pretty sure it was the best thing he'd ever heard. If he squinted his eyes just right he could almost imagine that Erin was his and Kara's child and that they were simply on their way to visit her grandpa Adama.

Her laughter swiftly died out as they passed by a group of crewmen who were staring unabashed at Erin. And Lee knew that no amount of squinting in the universe would change the reality of their situation. Kara did her best to dismiss their stares as she spotted Cally walking toward them.

She called out to the young woman. "Hey, I didn't get a chance to say this before but it was good to see a familiar face when I landed," Kara smiled as she looked over at Nicholas who was curled up in Cally's arms. "He's getting so big," she reached out to the boy.

Cally pulled her son closer to her chest, abruptly cutting off Kara's attempt at contact with the child. "You haven't been gone that long," she coldly remarked.

Starbuck felt her skin prickle as she watched Cally staring down at Erin with unmasked disgust on her face. Her guard was up in an instant. "Do you have a problem?"

"Yeah, that thing is a problem," Cally had no trouble speaking her mind. "Having Hera around here was bad enough, now there are two of them," she shook her head. "I thought we were at war and suddenly these half-breeds are popping up all over."

"Cally, that's enough," Lee knew there was no love lost between the woman and Cylons. She'd spent time in hack for killing Boomer. At the time he'd even thought it had been too much punishment, considering what Boomer had done to his father. But treating Kara like a traitor is where he drew the line.

"Its okay Lee, I've heard worse," Kara shrugged it off outwardly. Inside she felt like she'd just been slugged in the jaw. Cally had always been a friend to her before.

Tyrol came up behind his wife, draped an arm over her shoulder and tickled Nicky's little toes. "Captain," he nodded and smiled a friendly greeting to Kara. "It's good to see you again," his sincerity was genuine.

"I have to go, it's his nap time," Cally hastily left the small gathering that had formed in the corridor. The chief was left looking rather confused by his wife's behavior.

"So chief, you feel the same as your wife about half-Cylon children?" Kara never had been much for easing her way into anything. "You think my daughter is a freak too?" she challenged. Tyrol's brow furrowed.

Lee put a hand on Kara's arm. "We should go."

They turned to leave but Tyrol called out over his shoulder, "No." Kara turned back upon hearing his voice. He looked down at the blonde girl who was clinging to Kara's leg. There'd been a time he thought of Hera as an abomination, he'd even yelled it in Karl's face. But so much had happened since then. He realized there was a very real possibility that his own son was half-Cylon and he didn't even want to think about what Cally's reaction would be to that news. "I don't think she's a freak," he finally let her know.

Kara's lips curled ever so slightly. "See you around Chief," she waved the man off as he went to catch up to his wife and son. "Guess I'll have to get used to that," Kara remarked, falling into step with Lee again.

"You shouldn't have to," he replied.

She was surprised. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do," Lee was adamant. "I'm on your side, Kara."

"You don't even know what my side is, Lee."

He stopped again, put his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "What are we doing here?" Lee asked, hating the way they'd slipped right back into their bickering roles.

Kara could tell that he was asking about them specifically but she wasn't ready to let herself address that issue just yet. "We're walking to the admiral's quarters and I'm going to have a little chat with him and the president," she answered, knowing it wasn't at all what he'd been hoping to hear. "That's all I can focus on right now."

Lee nodded as they continued on.

xxx

They stopped outside Adama's room a few moments later and found Tigh lingering near the hatch. "Colonel, did you get an engraved invitation to this gathering too?" Kara quipped. "I got a personal escort," she waved one hand to indicate Lee's presence.

The man turned to face her, shaking his head. "Nice to see you're still the same smart-ass Starbuck that I remember," Tigh's voice held no hint of disgust the way he'd once regarded her.

"Some things will never change," she played along.

"Huh," he snorted at her comment. With all that had been going on in his head the last few days, he was actually grateful for the familiarity of her presence. They'd gone from animosity, to some semblance of friendship during his New Caprica visits, to boozing occupation survivors after the exodus, to something else entirely after he'd learned of her _"death"._

Kara's right hand smoothed its way over Erin's baby-fine hair as the girl stood permanently attached to one leg. "Colonel, what I said before when you took Erin from me…"

"That sure as hell isn't the Starbuck I remember," he remarked, stopping her before she could actually get an apology out. "It's forgotten. Doesn't matter," he shrugged it off, looking down at the girl he'd held in his arms very briefly in order to transport her to Cottle. She was every bit the spitting image of her mother.

She noticed where his gaze had focused in. "I'm sure you must have something to say about all this. Do you think she's a freak too?" Kara asked outright.

"My opinion doesn't really matter," Tigh straitened and diverted his attention elsewhere.

"It does to me," Kara replied.

That caught his attention. He refocused on Erin. "She looks…" he sighed heavily. "She looks like a little girl," his voice was uncommonly soft.

His one eye nearly began to mist up as he looked down at the child and wondered what it would have been like had he and Ellen ever had a daughter. He'd thought about it once or twice. Oddly enough his images coincided with the characteristics he found in Kara Thrace; smart, sassy and pretty in a subtle manner. Tigh shook the pointless thoughts from his head and made a move away from the door.

"You're not joining us?" Kara questioned. She wasn't sure why she'd always felt a connection to the ornery old man, but she did.

"No, I was just leaving," Tigh paused mid-step and glanced down at Erin one last time. "Word of advice Thrace, don't let her out of your sight," he warned before heading off down the hall.

Kara wasn't sure whether to be worried about his warning or grateful to him for what seemed to be actual concern. She didn't think she'd ever figure the man out. Her eyes settled on Lee. "That was odd," she remarked, turning to stare at Adama's hatch. "Guess we should go in."

"I wasn't invited to this gathering either," Lee replied as he moved away from the door. "I was just asked to get you here."

"Will we see you later?" Kara felt her nerves start to flutter. Going in to face the Admiral and Roslin alone was not going to be easy.

"If you want to," he decided it best to leave the particulars up to her. If she wanted to be with her husband, he wouldn't stand in the way. And if she wished to seek him out he'd make himself available. Either way, he realized that he had some serious talking to do with his wife.

xxx

"Have a seat," Adama did his best to be welcoming. Roslin, on the other hand, was unreadable.

Kara slid into one of the chairs by his desk. Adama remained standing and Roslin took his usual seat. Erin secured herself out of sight from both admiral and president. She sat on Kara's feet with her back against Adama's desk, facing her mother.

"So," Roslin regarded the younger woman. "Supposedly the child is a Cylon," she began. "How can you be so sure that she's yours?"

"The child is half-_Human_ and half-Cylon," Kara corrected the president. "The child also has a name, it's Erin. I suggest you use it," her words came fast and clipped. "She emitted bloody and screaming from my body after nearly eighteen hours of labor and has barely left my side since. So, yeah, I'm pretty confident that she's mine."

"Kara," Adama's voice was gruff.

"What?" she flashed him an, _I don't give a frak_, look. "The question was ridiculous. Everyone in the entire fleet probably knows she's mine by now," Kara pointed out. She turned back to Roslin. "Let's move on shall we?"

"Fine," Roslin folded arms defiantly across her chest. "Have you really been to Earth?"

"Yes."

The president groaned with frustration. "Could you be more specific?"

"I've stood on Earth," Kara added. She noticed Adama's warning glare and continued. "I lived on Earth for four years, felt it's dirt under my fingernails and bathed in its waters. I gave birth to a child there, watched her grow. I learned about Earth's cultures and its history. I made friends and I also suffered at the hands of ignorant people there," she exhaled sharply. "And I fulfilled my destiny there."

"What destiny was that?" Adama's curiosity was peaked, though still wary.

There was a time she would have laughed off such a ridiculous notion, but no longer. It was time to lay everything on the line. "To forge a bond between Human's and Cylons; to create a haven for us both on Earth," Kara relayed.

"That will never happen!" Roslin's ire went up like a red flag. She sat with her hands on the edge of Adama's desk, nails practically puncturing their way through the surface. "We will never live with the Cylons again, not here and most certainly not on Earth," she firmly declared.

Kara sighed. She knew it wouldn't be so easy. "If you truly believe that, then everything I've done, everything I've endured since the moment I was born…" Kara didn't hesitate a second as she pulled her shirt off and let it fall to the floor. "This," she pointed out the deep scars on her arm. "These," more on her chest and along her rib cage. She looked down at her daughter who smiled innocently up at her. Kara pulled Erin onto her lap and held her tightly. "Her…" she barely choked out the word, swallowing a lump of emotion.

She looked Roslin and Adama in the eye. "It will all have been for nothing."

* * *

To be continued… 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.

**All is not Lost  
****Part 3**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Adama relaxed his stance long enough to bend down and pluck Kara's shirt up off the floor. He handed it over to her, silently imploring her to put it back on. His eyes did their best to avoid seeing too much of the damage that had been inflicted upon her pale skin. His emotions in regard to her return were still very up and down and avoidance seemed the safest path at the moment.

The room was cool, and not just because Kara was partially undressed. A cold, stubborn air floated between herself and the president. They'd once been on the same side and had hurdled over some amazing obstacles together. Now, with Roslin's pointed stare, Kara felt the whole fleet was against her. She knew her claims didn't seem very likely, but she also didn't understand Roslin's outright refusal to listen.

Erin slid off Kara's lap as her mother dressed. The little girl was still wary of the new woman seated at the desk, but also quite curious. She stood with her little chin resting on the desk's surface, the remainder of her body leaned heavily against the solid wood object. Her eyes focused on Roslin as she remembered the sound of her angry voice from a few minutes ago.

The president felt slightly uneasy being sized up by a three-year-old. But the blond-headed child didn't look at all dangerous. She simply looked like a harmless little girl, same as Hera. Laura had never thought Hera would be anything more to her than a cancer treatment. But she'd gotten to know the girl on New Caprica with Maya as her mother. Her resolve had slipped further and further as she'd come to view the child as a person rather than a thing.

However, her friendship with Maya and the girl had only led to sorrow. Laura had vowed to keep her distance from Hera now that she was back with the fleet and her real parents. That didn't seem to stop the dreams, though. She still couldn't figure those out, nor could she see any possible good coming from making peace with the Cylons. New Caprica had been a disaster that she promised never to repeat

Roslin finally diverted her eyes from the girl and resumed her conversation with Kara. "All of this has been very dramatic," her tone attempted sympathy but fell slightly short. "But we're talking about the fate of this entire fleet. We need concrete answers. To questions like, why exactly have the Cylons been out there for over twelve hours without making a move against us?"

Kara regained her composure, a mask of clothing back in place. "I fully understand what is at stake here, and I think… maybe the Cylons are waiting out there because they understand what's at stake as well," she replied, glancing at Erin who was still enthralled by watching Roslin. "Let me see if I can put this all in some different terms for you."

Adama watched Kara as she took a deep breath and began to speak again. She still looked tired, yet more determined than he'd ever seen her before. "Say you gave birth to a child," she started. "A child who did not come to you in the most conventional of ways. She forced you to take on responsibilities that you didn't think you were capable of."

Erin turned around and faced Kara for a second, flashing her an encouraging grin as if she knew exactly what her mother was speaking of. "And you became her mother," Kara continued with the hint of a smile on her own face. "It's not easy at first but you fail and you learn and you come to love her more than you ever could have imagined."

The smile slipped from her face. "Now, let's say that child is taken from you," her voice turned grave. "Barely two years old and snatched away by a group of strangers with only hate in their hearts," she paused a moment. Kara felt Adama's eyes on her but she remained focused on her first agenda, Roslin.

She looked the president in the eye. "What would you do to get her back?" Kara asked. A long moment of silence passed between them. "What would _you_ do?" she made it clear that she was searching for an actual response.

Roslin shifted in her seat. "I suppose I'd call in some sort of police force, get a search party formed and hope that she was found…"

"Wrong," Kara stopped her, shaking her head. "The correct answer is, anything," she informed the older woman. "You would do _anything_ within your power to find her and end her suffering."

"Okay," Laura agreed. "A mother would do anything for her child. I can understand that you have obviously suffered a great deal and I have no plans to take your child from you…"

"I'm not looking for your sympathy or your permission," Kara interrupted again. "You really don't get it do you?" she asked. "I know you don't have any children, at least not in the sense of having given birth to them. But as the leader of this fleet, we are all your children," she insisted. "You took on that responsibility when you chose to give this fleet life," Kara looked to Adama for the first time. "Both of you did."

"It was our duty," Adama replied.

"It was more than that," Kara insisted as she refocused on Roslin. "If you were presented with the very real prospect of being able to end this war, of finding a peaceful existence on Earth, wouldn't you do anything within your power to make that a reality for your children? Wouldn't you do _anything_ so that they might live and be free?"

"Not this," Roslin maintained. "Not peace with the Cylons. Never."

Kara held Roslin's gaze for a long second. The glint of disappointment shown through in her eyes. "Then you fail as a mother." She stood and scooped Erin up into her arms. The girl rested her head on Kara's shoulder, eyes still on Roslin. They exited Adama's quarters without another word.

"Don't look at me that way," the President wagged a finger at the Admiral as she stood and moved around the desk.

"What way?" Adama asked, trying to remove all emotion from his face.

She stood before him. "Like I'm the big bad wolf here," Laura replied. "I know how you feel about that girl and I understand that she and her, daughter, have obviously been through a horrible ordeal. But you can't possibly believe there is any truth to what she's told us about Earth and the Cylons."

Adama rubbed his hands together and looked to the floor. "The Cylons, no, but Earth..." he glanced up again. "I think it's at least worth looking into," he still didn't know for certain if Kara had been to Earth or not but he knew the planet's existence was nearly as important to her as it was to him. His lie to her about Earth's location had started to unravel their bond. The more he thought on it, the more he didn't believe it was something she would lie about so easily.

"You think we should follow her to Earth?"

He nodded. "I think that half our battle is over when we do."

"And the Cylons follow us and blow up Earth and then we have nothing. No home, no hope." She stared at him for a long moment, wondering how he could suddenly be so casual about the Cylons following them on Earth. They'd already found them everywhere else they went. "I have somewhere else I need to be," she effectively ended their conversation.

The old man watched her leave without trying to stop her.

**xxx**

The mess hall was busy with noisy chatter and bustling tables. Folks were enjoying a morning meal as well as some much needed, albeit tentative, relaxation. The Cylon's massive affront was currently floating silently beside them, but they all knew how deadly it could turn if suddenly spurned into action. Their bodies were at rest but their guards were up. A group of card players was seated at a table in the far right corner, but Lee spotted her across the room, seated with Gaeta as she picked at a meal.

"Can we talk?" he asked as he approached.

She fiddled with the metal utensil in her hand but didn't look up, pushing processed algae-eggs around on her plate. "Starbuck has been back for less than 24 hours, I'm surprised you're not glued to her hip," Dee commented a bit more loudly than she needed.

Lee glanced around the room and noticed several people had abandoned their food and cards to have a look their way. He wasn't planning on making any sort of public spectacle. "Can we please go somewhere else and talk?" he asked, keeping his cool.

Somewhat to his surprise, Dee discarded her food and was willing to follow him. They walked silently all the way to his quarters, which he still wasn't sure why he had. He guessed the Admiral had just been too busy to take away his privileges aboard Galactica. It was only a matter of time before that shoe dropped.

"I can not believe you brought me here," Dee glanced around at what used to be her quarters. Her dark eyes noticed the discarded clothing on the floor, including some children's items. "She's been here," it was a statement, not a question. "You certainly didn't waste any time."

He knew lying wasn't going to get him anywhere. "She slept here with Erin. I slept in one of the pilots bunks. I have not cheated on you."

Dee scoffed at his claim. "Cheating is about more than just sex, Lee. I know you've kissed her, held her, wanted more… even before this," she shook her head in disgust, bracing herself for their little talk.

"You're right," Lee admitted. "I want to be with her. I've wanted to be with her for a very long time."

"Before we were married?"

"Long before," he honestly replied.

She'd been prepared for the response but it still hurt. "I guess I already knew that," Dee resigned herself to the knowledge. "I guess I let myself think we could be happy together. But, if I want you to be honest, I have to be honest too. A lot of why I married you had to do with security rather than love," she revealed.

"Security?" Lee was actually stymied.

"I was cut off from my family when I joined the military," she began, looking around and trying not to remember the good times, of which there'd been a few. "I think I sought in the Admiral something I could never get back from my own father. And I liked being an Adama and the weight that name carries in this fleet."

"So, what was I?" Lee asked. He sat down on his bunk, not sure if he really wanted to know.

Dee remained standing. "You were something I ran to when I got scared," she admitted. Longing of the past clouded her judgment as words slipped past. "Billy's love…" her heart sunk as she recalled the way she'd treated the man. "It was so pure and sincere. I'd never known that before and it overwhelmed me," she confessed.

Realization dawned. "And you ran from it," Lee wanted to laugh. "Lords, you are more like Starbuck than you'd ever want to admit," he looked to her for an honest answer. "So what was I to you, a good distraction?"

"You were my husband and I loved you," she meant every word.

"Were? Loved?"

Her head dipped. "Let's not kid ourselves any more, Lee. I think we both know why you brought me here, why you wanted this little talk. So don't try to blame this on me alone. If you want to be free for her then…" Dee couldn't quite bring herself to say it. She'd made up her mind to step aside but that didn't mean she had to give her blessing.

He stood again and put a hand on her shoulder. "I want to be free for myself," Lee looked his wife in the eye. "I don't know what Kara wants but I love her and that means I can't be married to you. Maybe I'll end up alone for the rest of my life but at least I won't have dragged you down with me," he cringed slightly, realizing he'd already started that avalanche.

She pulled away. "I doubt very much that you'll be alone for the rest of your life."

"Dee, it's been an honor…"

"Please don't," she stopped him.

Lee stood tall again and made his way to a cabinet a few feet away. He grasped the papers that had been there for several weeks. "At least let me say that I'm sorry," his voice was raw as he handed the items over to her. "All you have to do is sign."

She felt slightly sick to know that he was so prepared and that it was all happening so fast. But after a moment's hesitation, Dee quickly scrawled her name across several pages and handed them back. She could tell he wanted to say more but she didn't want to listen. He watched as the hatch clanged shut behind her.

Signed papers sat on a table in the middle of his room. Lee's right hand twirled the wedding band around the ring finger of his left hand. He pulled it off and placed it atop the papers.

**xxx**

A hollow metal knock echoed through the space and Adama glanced away from the vid screen, peering at his already open hatch. He was more than a little surprised to find the president standing there. They hadn't left things on a very good note earlier. He wondered if anything had changed. She looked rather subdued standing there with a halo of light from the hall surrounding her. 

"Enter," he spoke as he waved her in and nodded toward the vid screen that he had on. Another broadcast of _The Colonial Gang_ was playing. She closed his hatch and moved into the room a few steps. They silently watched the program for a while.

"Captain Thrace was the fleet's greatest asset in this war," one male reporter relayed. "She's probably taken out more Cylons than any one else. Something pretty serious must have happened to change her view so drastically that she'd welcome a Cylon child. I think we at least owe her the opportunity to come forward and explain herself." 

_"Ridiculous," another man responded. "Obviously she's become a traitor to her people. No question."_

_A female reporter chuckled derisively. "And we all know what happens to traitors in this fleet," she scoffed._

_"Yes, we put them on trial and then let them go free," the second man chimed in again._

"This is a disaster," Roslin leaned against his desk and sat on the edge. "Baltar's trial left us with very little credibility."

"I can see that," Adama replied as he turned the vid off.

She fiddled with an object on his desk, not looking at him. "It doesn't help matters that he's still out there somewhere, unknown to us. He could be planning another coup."

"Maybe," Bill doubted it. But he wasn't all that interested in Baltar at the moment. He observed Laura and knew something was not right. She was avoiding him and he wondered if she was having second thoughts about their earlier conversation with Starbuck. "I thought you'd left," he decided to keep the subject neutral.

"I had another appointment here," she continued to evade his eyes, instead focusing on a framed photo of two young boys. Roslin knew one of them was Lee, she could see his chiseled, serious features even at a young age. The other looked more relaxed; a smile on his face. She knew it was Lee's brother Zak. Laura traced a line along both their youthful faces. Children of her own had never been a reality. Even thought she'd taught hundreds of them over the years, she sometimes felt the pain of having missed the opportunity to be a mother. She finally looked to Adama. "I don't feel much like returning to my ship just yet."

"You're more than welcome to stay," he offered, giving her room to work out whatever was obviously eating at her.

"It's spread," her words leapt forth without foresight.

Bill Adama cleared his throat nervously. "You've been to see Cottle."

She nodded and moved away from his desk, crossing arms over her chest. A laugh that was nearly a sob escaped her throat. "Perhaps there is more to this dying leader hooey than I previously thought. The cancer goes away; I lose the election to Baltar. I regain the presidency and the cancer returns," Laura stood in the middle of the room, not sure what to do with herself.

He looked up at her. A grin spread over his features despite the gravity of the subject. "Did you just say hooey?"

"I am trying to be serious here," but her face belayed the words as a small smile formed.

"I think we've had far too much of that lately," the Admiral relayed as he stood and moved around the desk. He grew serious a moment later, looking to her with apologetic eyes. "I don't know what to say, or do," he admitted to the awkwardness he was feeling in the wake of her news.

"Sitting is always good," her simple reply was made, even as she remained standing beside him. "My great-grandmother, Claire, believed that a person was never given more than they could handle. She claimed that all they needed was to sit a while and the answers would come." Laura's lips curled. "She also used words like, hooey."

They both smiled away tears and Adama put a hand on her right arm. "Then let's sit more comfortably," he ushered her to the sofa at the side of his room and they sat down. His hand stayed at her arm, gently resting there and lending what support he could. Laura's hand came to rest upon his, giving it a soft, thankful squeeze.

There'd be time later for further talk about Cylons, Earth and peace. For now they sat.

**xxx**

"I told her I was a Cylon."

"You what!" the Colonel's voice echoed through the empty cargo bay. He realized that he ought to be quieter and practically whispered the following words. "Anders, you need to be smarter about this," he warned.

"She didn't believe me," Sam lowered his head. "But that kid could be mine," he added, looking to Tory and the Chief for some sort of support against Tigh.

"Did you ask her?" Tyrol questioned.

"She said it wasn't."

"I don't think Thrace is the type to not know who the father of her child is," Tigh was quick to defend her. Though he was still a bit surprised by her daughter's paternity, wondering if he was somehow mechanically related to the girl. The whole idea seemed preposterous and he shrugged it off. "If she said it isn't you, I'd take that as a pretty definite answer."

"Then who, and why and…"

"Slow down there," the Chief patted Sam on the shoulder, seeing the man was getting worked up. He understood the confusion. They were all on edge and befuddled by the sudden knowledge that they could be Cylons. Kara's return on top of that only added to the craziness they were all feeling. Sam probably more than the rest of them.

Tigh stuffed hands in his pockets as he paced. "The old man has been pretty tight lipped since she arrived yesterday. He's barely left his quarters," he informed them. "And the Cylon's are still sitting out there, way too quiet."

"I think we need to just tell them about us, seriously," Tyrol announced.

That stopped Tigh mid-step. "If you're ready to be blown out an airlock, then by all means Chief," he waved a hand toward the exit.

Tyrol remembered what they'd done to those folks they'd accused of being Cylon sympathizers during the occupation. What they'd done to Jammer in the name of justice. It still ate at him every night. Their choices were either an airlock or being tossed into the cell that always seemed to be filled with one Cylon or another. Either way, he didn't see a very happy ending to their situation.

"This is Starbuck we're talking about here. If any one is likely to open the Admiral's eyes to all this it will be her," Tyrol seemed confident of that fact. "I know they've had their troubles in the past but she's like a daughter to him."

"You think she'd be an advocate for us?" Tory piped in for the first time since their meeting had begun.

Tigh tried to be the voice of reason. "I think you're all getting ahead of yourselves. The old man and Roslin are no doubt working together on this one. He might be swayed, though I doubt it, but she'll never waver. The woman is stone."

"She's sick," Tory reminded them of the President's current predicament. Due to Baltar's trial and Lee's insistent badgering on the witness stand, practically everyone in the fleet knew of her cancer's return. "I don't like to play on weakness but, it could be an opening," she suggested, feeling rather ashamed of the idea.

"No," Tyrol shook his head. "I say we focus on the Captain, try to get a read on her and find out exactly what's going on."

"I agree," Tigh seconded the idea.

Anders threw up his hands and made for the door. "I'm out of here," he called over his shoulder.

"We need to watch him," Tigh growled, uncertain about where the young man's head was.

"He's understandably upset by all this," Tory defended.

Tigh had realized as much and truthfully he couldn't fault the man, but he didn't need Anders losing his cool. "I think there's more at stake here than dead wives returning with illegitimate children. He can't let his pride stand in the way of our survival. We can't just shout out the possibility that we might be Cylons. We need a plan."

"What do you suggest?" Tyrol asked.

"For now, we try to get close to Thrace," the wheels in Tigh's head were starting to spin. "Like you said, see if we can figure out which way she's leaning. Stick close to Roslin as well," he added for Tory's benefit. "There's also someone else I think we need to pay a visit to," Tigh concluded.

"Who?" Tory questioned.

"Just leave that to me," the Colonel dismissed them and took off in the opposite direction.

**xxx**

Lee had sent the papers off to be filed with a lawyer straight away. It didn't seem necessary to wait on the matter, seeing as he and Dee were actually in agreement. Best to cut all ties as quickly as possible. But apparently not all was worked out so cleanly in Lee's head as he'd spent the remainder of his morning trying to punch out his feelings on the gym's heavy bag. After his hands gave in, he'd paced the length of the old ship until he thought his feet might give out.

He'd told her that he'd be around if she wished to see him, but Lee hadn't heard a word from Kara since he'd walked her to the Admiral's quarters earlier that morning. It being close to the end of mid-shift now, he was starting to grow worried. As much as he tried to protest it, Lee knew he wouldn't be happy alone for the rest of his life. Without her there'd always be a hole. So, he searched for nearly an hour before finally getting a solid lead on her.

The observatory appeared completely empty as he pushed open the heavy door. It wasn't often that there was no one around to watch the stars. There were very few activities aboard Galactica, which left star-gazing very near the top of the list, aside from a good game of Triad. But the observation deck was usually reserved for couples who wished to indulge in a small bit of public affection, which meant that he never in a million years expected to find Kara there.

Yet, as he moved in further, there she sat cross-legged upon the cool metal decking of the floor. A few inches away, Erin had her nose pressed up against the thick glass. Kara registered the sound of his footsteps and turned toward him. She flashed a weak smile then resumed her previous task of watching Erin. "She loves the stars," her voice was distant.

"Then you're in the right place," Lee responded. His hands held two items that he'd swiped while searching the ship for them. He knelt down beside Kara. "I thought maybe she'd like a toy," he shrugged, showing Kara the mini Raptor in one hand and the small Viper in his other.

Kara gently tugged on Erin's shirt sleeve to catch the girl's attention. She pointed to Lee and the small space crafts he had pilfered from the war table. Erin looked at Lee and then to Kara before taking one cautious step toward him. It seemed to take an eternity for her to traverse the small distance between them.

He remained quiet and deathly still as he watched Erin approach. Lee tried his best not to make her feel pressured or frightened. Erin stood very close and looked at the two ships. She sucked in her lower lip and bit down gently in concentration. Lee didn't think she could look any more like Kara until that movement had been made.

Finally, one little hand reached out and hovered between both ships for a long moment. Then she slowly grabbed hold of the Viper, careful not to actually touch Lee's hand. Her fingers curled around the hard plastic craft and she dashed back to the window with it firmly in her clutch. Kara smiled softly as she watched Lee place the Raptor on the floor between them.

"She's definitely your kid," he told her, having been nearly certain the girl would take the Viper. She shrugged in response and continued to watch her daughter. "I take it things with Roslin and my father didn't go so well," Lee didn't need to be a genius to figure that one out.

"Not really," she replied.

"How long have you been sitting here?" he was hoping to get her talking a bit more.

"Hours," Kara sighed. "After I left Adama's quarters I didn't know where to go so I came here because I figured Erin could at least enjoy the view. She doesn't like being stuck in small spaces, even though she still clings to them when scared. I thought seeing the stars would be nice. There were a lot of people when we got here. Funny how they all left in a hurry," she blew out the stream of words.

"Kara…" Lee sighed, wondering how to even start. "I have so many questions."

"About her?"

"And you," he added.

Kara looked at him closely for the first time since he'd entered the room. She felt a heavy weight resting on her chest and wondered if she could trust him enough to help her carry the load. "Can you listen and let me say everything I need to say without judging me?"

"I don't…"

"Yes you do, Lee. You've always judged me."

Lee squashed his defenses. "I… I want to listen," he insisted.

She bit her bottom lip the same way Erin had done earlier. "It was all part of their plan," Kara looked to her daughter again. "She was an important part of the plan," she turned back to Lee. "So was I."

"What plan?" Lee had promised to listen but he couldn't help the onslaught of questions in his head. "They already had Hera. They knew Cylon-Human breeding was possible. I don't understand why you had to be a part of this," he waved his hand in Erin's direction.

"Hera was born to a Cylon mother. Erin was born to a Human mother," Kara noted the difference for him. "That dynamic was always key to the plan's success. They used Sharon as the first to see if it was even possible, but they've always believed a Human mother's bond with a half-Cylon child would be the true test. Sure there was Karl's acceptance, but father's don't give birth. They just don't carry the same emotional connection that a mother does," she explained as best she could.

Lee was surprised to find that her words made sense. "So, how does any of this work into you being on Earth?" there were still so many random pieces of the puzzle to fit in place.

"Cylons want to live on Earth with us," Kara stated without blinking.

"You've got to be frakking kidding me!"

Her lips pursed in warning. "You agreed to listen," she reminded him. His head reluctantly nodded for her to continue. "Leoben and I traveled to Earth through some sort of, I don't know what you want to call it, portal, wormhole," Kara still didn't know much how it worked but it wasn't the important issue. "He and I paved the way to Earth for the fleet and for the Cylon's as well."

Lee was stymied. "Earth knows about the Cylons and they're willing to let them settle there? What lies did you feed them?"

"No lies, only the truth," Kara's voice grew upset, seeing his eyes cloud over with an air of superiority. She knew he couldn't help himself.

He tried to quell his growing temper. "So, you and the Cylon played happy family on Earth? Do you know how hard that is to believe? I mean, you and he… how did she…" he glanced over at Erin, not able to get the right words out. "He brought her to you and said she was yours and you just believed him again?"

"It wasn't like Kasey," she shook her head, not surprised that he'd found out about the other little girl. "But that would be nice, wouldn't it, to believe that she'd been created in some Cylon petri dish. Maybe that's what I should let you believe," Kara felt tears prick at her eyes. She'd never wanted to hurt him but it seemed to happen time and time again.

To her surprise, he remained seated and looked her in the eye. "I want to believe the truth, Kara. That's why I'm here. That's why I promised to listen. I think I deserve that much."

Best to get it out all at once, Kara thought. "He presented the plan and I went to him, willingly. I slept with him knowing the end result would be a child from our union."

Lee tried to hold down his heart as it threatened to beat a hole through his chest. The pain was too great. "So a Cylon told you this was your destiny and you just spread your legs for him?"

"I knew this would never work!" her head fell into open palmed hands. She felt it all slipping away. "You just can't help but judge me according to the almighty Lee Adama standard of conduct," Kara sighed, looking up at him again.

Bile rose in his throat. "Well, I'm sorry Kara but this is all a little bit hard to take," he retorted.

"Do you think it was easy for me?"

"I think you should have taken more time to make any sort of decision."

Kara scoffed. He always seemed to think he had everything figured out. She sometimes wished she could live in a Lee Adama, black and white world. But hers had been painted gray from the get-go. "I think nearly 30 years was plenty of time," she finally countered.

"30 years?" that stopped him.

"I have been preparing for this since I was born, Lee. It's the reason my mother handed out insults and fat lips, the way some mothers hand out cookies. It's why I lost Zak and why I could never get it right with you. I had to know great love and great tragedy, over and over. I had to be strong in the face of failure."

"The Cylon fed you lies, Kara," Lee insisted. "It was not your destiny to be the universe's whipping girl!"

"They're not lies if you've seen them too!" she shouted. Erin turned toward them, her bottom lip quivering slightly at the upturned voices. Kara quickly eased her worry with a painted on smile and the girl turned back to the stars.

Lee steadied himself, taking a deep breath. "What does that mean, Kara?"

She looked at her hands. "I've seen glimpses of the future in my dreams, parts and pieces since I was Erin's age. I didn't always know what they meant, but the images I've seen; they've all come true. The _Eye of Jupiter_; I use to draw it over and over in my notebooks. I'd seen it before we ever got close to that algae planet. And I saw Leoben and I… my destiny was to be on Earth with him, to pave the way for all humanity."

He'd never seen her so adamant about anything before. When he looked in her eyes, Lee knew she truly believed the words she spoke. But there had to be more. "What about the Cylons and their claim that love is essential to the interbreeding of our people?"

"You're worried that I love him," the heart of the matter slid into place. She knew him better than he knew himself sometimes. He was worried she'd found someone else to replace him again. "I don't, Lee. I don't," Kara tried to reassure him. "But in this they did not lie," she reached out a hand and caught Erin's attention. The girl easily fell into her mother's open arms. She snuggled into her lap with the Viper replica tucked safely in the crock of her small arm.

"It is about love," Kara continued, stroking her daughter's soft hair. "I love her more than I ever thought possible. When I agreed to Leoben's plan I thought I'd lost my mind. I wasn't even certain we were on Earth. I thought there was a very real possibility that I was actually dead. But something pushed me forward, dream or not. I didn't realize what it was all about until I first laid eyes on her. I loved her the second she was born."

Kara kissed the top of Erin's head. "But even love alone couldn't sway all the people of Earth. They accepted us at first, until we told them about the Cylons and revealed that Leoben was one." Her eyes narrowed and brow furrowed. "People got scared. When Erin was two years old, a group of people calling themselves _The Pure Earth Society _took Leoben and Erin. They tortured and killed him."

Lee's jaw twitched but he waited for her to continue. "I'm sure you're not really seeing the bad side of that," she hugged Erin tighter. "They had her for one week before I found her, one week that I can never get back for her, one week in which I'm still not sure what they did to her. But my gut tells me that she was witness to at least some of what they did to him. And no matter what you and I may have thought of him, he was her father."

Erin's head rested under Kara's chin and it was all Lee could do not to sweep them both up into his arms. But he sat and waited. "It took me another week to get her to even come to me. Nearly two weeks before she'd allow me to comfort her, to touch her in any way. And almost six months before she uttered any words. Still those are rare," she took a breath. "We spent close to a year with them, but they never touched her again. _Never_."

He skin was chilled by the force of her words. "You took on all their abuse yourself," Lee didn't have to ask, he just knew.

"I'd do it again. Do _anything_ if it meant keeping her safe." Kara insisted. "We were found and the society was dealt with. They were only a small fraction of what the United Earth Nations represent. Most of the planet has agreed to allow us all asylum, Colonials and Cylon," she concluded, still hopeful after everything they'd been through. The three of them sat silently for a moment. "You haven't hit me and you're still sitting there," Kara finally spoke again.

"I can't judge you for doing what any good parent would for their child," Lee reasoned. Maybe he never could have pictured her as a mother before, but seeing her with Erin and listening to her story, he could tell that she was one hell of a mama bear. "The rest of it, it's a lot to take in at once, but I'm still here," he let her know.

Kara felt the weight lift just a little. "You're not the same Lee I remember," she told him.

"You're not the same Kara I remember," he replied. After her _"death"_, he'd found himself alone at the memorial wall wishing and damn near praying, several times over. He'd told himself that he'd give anything to have her back again. Believe anything, do anything. He'd gotten his unfathomable wish and he planned to keep the promise. He leaned in and cupped her cheek in his hand. "If I tell this Kara that I love her, will she be gone in the morning?"

"No," she whispered back as he caught her lips in a soft, slow kiss. Erin shrank away from Lee and sat herself back in front of the glass, petting her toy Viper. Kara slowly pulled back too, remembering each and every time he'd touched her in the past. Though it was often wrong for the two of them to be together, he always made her feel safe. "But she will remind you that you have a wife," Kara reached for his hand, planning to show him the ring. But it wasn't there.

"Not any more," Lee replied threading his fingers with hers. "At least, not after tomorrow," he amended.

That news didn't really surprise her so much. It had always been her steadfast adherence to vows that stood between them. "Well, I still am," she reminded him.

"Actually, you're not," Lee countered. "According to Colonial Law, in times of war a deceased spouse automatically terminates a marriage agreement. It holds as long as the spouse has been declared legally dead, even if the deceased turns out to be alive later on. Dad signed your death certificate himself," Lee informed her.

Kara's mouth hung open. "Aside from that being extremely creepy, are you kidding me?" she asked. "What sort of a law is that?" Kara couldn't quite believe it.

"A very old one," he replied. "It was created during the Caprica Civil War as a means to allow widowed females and their children protection by being able to quickly take another husband."

"I can protect myself," she insisted.

Lee couldn't help the laughter that escaped. "This law was created long before females were even allowed to vote, let along draw up arms along side a man," he noted. "It's rarely ever used these days, considering we haven't been at war in over forty years and even then females were already a large part of the Colonial military. But it was never taken off the books."

Kara wasn't exactly sure how she felt about knowing she was indeed broken from her marriage to Sam. In four years time she'd already come to see herself as divorced from him. It had just never been quite so concrete before. "Why do you know all this?" she was suddenly curious.

"I did a lot of reading for Baltar's trial," Lee replied.

"Baltar, I completely forgot about that." It was odd to think that things she thought of as having taken place four years ago were still just breaking news.

"I helped free him," he revealed.

Her eyes grew large. "You… how… why?" she was more than a little confused.

He shrugged. "Somehow I got roped into the whole ordeal. Long story short, I ended up sitting at the defense table and was instrumental in gaining his release."

"That's why you resigned?" some of it was starting to take shape for her.

Lee nodded. "Needless to say, the old man isn't too happy with me at the moment. When you died, I sort of…" he shook his head. Well, a lot of things didn't make sense at the time. But for some reason, the law did. I needed something to hold on to that wouldn't let me down. War is angry. Love is difficult. Laws are safe."

Kara sighed. "You really have changed."

"I'm sick of this war, Kara. I'm tired of fighting."

"Do you think anything that I've told you is true? Do you think peace with the Cylons is a possibility?"

Lee took a deep breath. "Honestly, I don't know. It wouldn't be my first choice of a bright shinny future," he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "But I believe you, Kara. If you believe this has any chance of working then I'm on your side."

She couldn't begin to tell him how much those words meant to her. But there was still so much doubt and aversion ahead of them. "Roslin refuses to even consider the idea," Kara revealed.

He'd figured as much. "I think what we need to do is, tag-team," Lee suggested.

"Meaning I take the old man and you take Roslin," Kara surmised. She looked slightly wary. "I don't think Adama wants anything to do with me."

"I don't think Roslin wants anything to do with me," Lee admitted. Noticing the question on her face, "It's another long story." One he didn't want to get into. "If you've been to Earth, as you say, raised a half-Cylon child and worked to gain equality for the Cylons and Colonials on Earth… surely you've got enough fight left in you to face my father."

"It's different with him," she shook her head. "Every time I look into his eyes and see disappointment… that hurts more than any physical pain," she pulled her sleeve up and traced over a patch of ridged skin. "These are just surface, they really don't mean much," she whispered. Erin turned to face her mother, seeming to always be in tune with her emotions. One of her small hands patted the same patch of skin. Kara looked up at Lee again. "I know it shouldn't, but his approval means everything to me."

"And hers to me," Lee's voice was soft, contemplative. He still hadn't gotten over how he'd treated Roslin at Baltar's trial. He reached his hand out to lay it upon Kara's exposed arm. He was careful to avoid Erin, fearing she'd get scared again. "Let's not think about them right now. We'll spend the rest of the day here, just the three of us," he insisted, thinking they could all use some rest.

She smiled at his hopefully plan. "That sounds nice. Unfortunately, three-year-olds don't go long without needing food and naps. I think I've already pushed those bounds by holing up in here half the day."

"I'll grab provisions, food, blankets… we'll have a picnic and a nap," Lee got to his feet.

"Okay," Kara agreed, seeing how much it meant to him.

Lee took a few steps away from them but his enthusiasm suddenly stopped short and he turned back. He glancing over at Kara and her daughter, fear pooling in his stomach. He watched as Kara made the little Raptor fly around Erin's head. He listened as the girl giggled at her mother's antics. Erin picked up her Viper and the two ships danced together in the air around them.

His thoughts bled back to the night he and Kara had spent on a New Caprica beach. He'd been so hopeful then and it had all crashed to his feet when he'd allowed his eyes to close. "You'll be here when I get back?" he hated how vulnerable his voice sounded, like a child searching for reassurance. He promised to stand beside her but the past was a strong reminder.

Kara looked up at him. She felt her heart sink, knowing she was the cause of his cautiousness. "We're not going anywhere," she replied. All she could give him was her word, and hope that it would be enough.

Lee nodded. He took one step toward the door then another as he slowly started to allow his heart to heal.

* * *

**To be continued…  
**Thank you all so much for your reviews. Sorry this part got so wordy! 


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.

**All is not Lost  
****Part 4**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Lee opened and closed the hatch as quietly as possible. Even though he and Kara had talked through a lot of things the night before, they'd both agreed to take things slow. He'd spent another night bunking with the pilots, but he hadn't been able to stay away long. Barely 0600 hours and he stood silently with his back against the door, watching them sleep.

Erin's green eyes opened and peaked up at him. She was suddenly wide awake even as Kara continued to sleep. He watched her as she watched him. Lee Adama had never been very interested in children and was mostly nervous around them. He'd abandoned his own girlfriend on Caprica just after she'd told him about the child she was carrying; his child. It was fear of being a lousy father that made him run. That was just the first of many regrets he carried around.

This child in particular made him more nervous than most. He didn't know if it was because of her half-Cylon heritage or knowing what Kara had sacrificed in allowing her existence. Lee also had to admit his jealousy over the fact that she'd chosen to bed with a Cylon. Despite all his misgivings, every time he looked into little Erin's eyes he saw a tiny part of Kara reflected back. And Lee couldn't help but open his heart to her.

He squatted down and motioned the girl forward. She continued to size him up for a moment then slowly disentangled herself from the bed and her mother. Erin climbed over Kara without rustling the bed. She slid down onto her feet and stood before him in one of his old tanks. The heather-grey fabric nearly hit the ground around her ankles and one of the straps hung down off her small shoulder.

Lee glanced around the room and spotted a bunch of clothes in a nearby pile. Kara never had been big on organization or cleanliness. He rooted around and pulled out some shorts and a t-shirt for the girl and encouraged her to dress. Erin managed to cloth herself and stood before him again with a questioning look. She'd warmed up to him a little more after their afternoon and evening spent on the observation deck, but she was still uncertain about being close to him.

"Are you hungry?" Lee asked. The little girl nodded, looking around the room. "I didn't bring any food," he answered her silent query. "We'll have to go to the mess hall this time, just the two of us. We can bring some back for your mom," he stood and moved toward the door.

Erin remained rooted in place not far from where Kara was still sleeping. She was hungry but she really didn't want to leave her mom.

He noticed her trepidation. "We won't be gone long at all," Lee tried his best to sound reassuring. "You don't have to hold my hand or anything, just stick close like when you were walking with your mom yesterday," he opened the hatch and steeped through, holding it for her.

She gave one more glance toward her mother before slowly taking a step toward him. Then she took another few steps until she was through the doorway and at Lee's side. Her head craned to see Kara as Lee closed the door. When it was just the two of them at the outside corridor, she stepped closer to him, suddenly fearful of the others mulling about.

Lee grinned at his small success. "Let's go," he motioned her forward as they set off for the mess hall.

**xxx**

He stood on the opposite side of the glass and watched their prisoner as she laid with her back to him. Platinum blond hair cascaded over a small pillow and long legs stretched out along the cot's surface. He wondered what sort of devices ran along the inside of her skin and along her spin, tucked covertly beneath very Human looking flesh. Then he looked to his own hands, held them out in front of himself and turned them over. He wondered if the same mechanical innards ran throughout his own body.

Breaking himself from the useless thoughts, he banged loudly against the heavy panes of glass. "Get up!" he shouted to the female Cylon.

Inside the cell, Six tried her best to shut out the muffled yells. She was tired of being questioned and poked and prodded. They could keep her prisoner but that didn't mean she had to cooperate and bow to their every whim. The yelling became more insistent and soon it was echoing through the receiver of the two-way intercom system, even though her end was hung up.

Slowly and methodically, she sat up and straightened herself. She stood up and turned around to find the flustered face of the man she'd come to recognize as Saul Tigh, a Colonel in the Colonial Military and second in command to the Admiral. Her interest actually flared as she casually made her way over to the wall.

She picked up her end of the line and stood their silently. "I need to know why you came here with Sharon?" he asked. "You must have known that we'd lock you away, or shoot you on sight, which you're lucky we didn't." his annoyed voice filled her ear.

"I'm valuable to you," her tone was even, not flustered in the least.

"Until you aren't any more, at which point you'll go out the airlock," Saul returned. He wasn't going to play games when he needed answers. "Why did you come here?" he repeated the question.

Six rolled her eyes at his insistence. "Perhaps I was bored and wanted to play with the Human's for a while," she replied.

He narrowed his eyes at the woman, if she could be called that. "I see they included sarcasm in the Cylon training to pass as Human. Nice touch," Saul growled. "Now tell me why you came back with Athena," he demanded.

Her lips curled into a large smile. "I love that you Humans have gotten so attached to her, you've even given her a sweet little nickname."

The Colonel wasn't pleased, mostly at himself for actually having let Sharon's call sign slip into his vocabulary. They really had started to come to think of the young Raptor pilot as one of them. She'd been accepted into Human society. He shook his head, realizing they'd gotten off topic. "Did you think we'd be lenient on you for helping save the Half-Cylon child?" he asked.

"Have you been?" she countered.

"Damn-it, answer the question!" he shouted.

She continued to smile. "I suppose the thought had crossed my mind," it was the first semblance of truth to escape her mouth. She watched as he stood slightly turned so that his one eye could stare her down. Six hated to admit it, but the act was rather disconcerting. "There are some within the Cylon community that do not agree with those in charge," she revealed.

"So there's some sort of hierarchy in the Cylon collective?" the man was surprised.

The female Cylon nodded. "We are a society, the same as you are."

Tigh snorted at that response. "The only difference is you destroyed nearly ever last man, woman and child on the Colonies. That makes you barbarians, not human," he growled.

"Ha!" Six chuckled mirthlessly. "You created us, what does that make you?" she countered. "Colonial history is not as squeaky clean as you'd like to think. You have waged war many times over, with us, between the colonies, even within colonies," she pointed out. "Civil war has almost always been the start of ordered societies."

Saul pondered her last few words for a moment, curious about something that suddenly struck him. "Are you saying the Cylons are engaged in a Civil War of some sort?"

Her face paled, not realizing what she'd accidentally revealed until it was too late. She let the receiver drop from her hand and backed away slowly from the glass walls. Six sank down onto the flimsy cot and wrapped her hands around the metal side bars, clinching her fists tightly.

Colonel Tigh realized he had just been handed a very interesting piece of information.

**xxx**

"Lee Adama!" his name resounded around the small room, bouncing off the walls as he spotted her making a beeline toward them. He barely had time to stand before she'd swooped down and gathered Erin up into her arms. Another second later she was out the door and down the corridor while he was left to wonder what had happened.

His surprise quickly waned as he darted after her. "Kara!" he called out, jogging to catch up. Lee made contact with her arm momentarily but she expertly pulled out of his grip.

She stopped for a second and turned to face him. "I woke up to an empty bed, Lee. I searched very crevice in that room and my daughter was nowhere to be found," her chest heaved as she tried to keep the emotions under check. Erin clung to her, feeling the worry emitting off her mother and wanting to comfort her.

Realization dawned on him and he felt his heart sink into his stomach. "Kara, I am so sorry," Lee apologized. "I didn't even think," he shook his head in regret as she continued back toward his quarters. Lee followed along silently and was pleased to find that she wasn't planning to slam the hatch in his face.

Erin was set down and Kara remained standing, her hair a mess and eyes rimmed with red splotchy skin. "Don't you ever take her anywhere again without me," Kara warned as she tossed clothes around and rummaged through things, trying to quell her furry. She threw on a clean pair of pants and another long-sleeved shirt, trying to hide the atrocious scars that marred most of her body.

Lee watched her as she did so. His sympathy for her slipped for a second. "You are such a hypocrite," he mumbled under his breath.

Kara spun around on him, forgetting every gorgeous moment that they'd shared the night before. "What did you just say?" she asked, anger bubbling to the surface again. She pulled her hair back and tied it into some semblance of a pony-tail. Hands came to rest of her hips as she eyed him, waiting for a response.

"I called you a hypocrite," Lee spoke the words louder than before. He looked over at Erin who had pulled herself somewhat out of harms way by curling up at one end of the bunk. "You keep going on about how Erin needs to learn how to trust again but I think you might need to take some of your own advice," he concluded. "I thought you'd be happy that she trusted me enough to go with me."

She fell silent for a moment, feeling her resolve start to crumble. "I am," Kara admitted through gritted teeth.

"But you're still scared," Lee concluded with a sigh, seeing the pain in her face. He relaxed a little as she gave the tiniest nod of affirmation. "It's okay to be scared," he assured her.

Kara shook her head at him, not letting the tears fall. "Being scared, letting your guard down, that's what gets you killed Lee," she watched Erin with a heavy heart. "I won't let anyone else suffer for my weakness."

Lee could see the guilt written across her face and wished he could take it all away for her. He took a step toward her. "Okay, we do need to be on our guard then," he agreed. "But I meant what I said the other day, Kara. I'm on your side. So, why don't you let me stand guard some of the time while you rest," he offered.

She wanted so badly to take him up on his offer but Kara didn't give in so easily. "She's a three year old kid, Lee. She's not a Viper that you can fix with a wrench and sooth with a coat of shinny wax. You don't just stand guard over her, you parent," she explained.

He couldn't help but grin at her use of Viper analogies. "I understand that. And being around her scares me," Lee admitted. He noticed as Kara instantly grew agitated by his words. "It's not because she's part Cylon," he added. "But because I don't understand kids much at all," he admitted.

Kara visibly relaxed her stance. "Neither did I, but I learned."

Lee felt himself settle down a little as well. "Do you think you could give me a chance to learn?" he asked.

She countered with a challenging look. "Do you want to learn?"

Neither of them noticed the Admiral as he approached the hatch. "I have some nuggets that need to learn," Adama's voice sounded across the space. Lee and Kara turned and watched as he stepped over the door's threshold and entered the room. Without further ado, he made his purpose known. "I'd like you to finish the training you started," he looked to Kara.

Lee wasn't too surprised to find that his father was all but ignoring his presence. The other day things had been chaotic and the old man had turned to him a few times for help with Kara and the girl. Now that most of the major confusion had settled, he was left out again. No military rank and suddenly he was nowhere to be seen on the mighty William Adama's dradis screen.

"I need every nugget on this ship certified and ready to fly in twenty-four hours, and I want you to be the one to train them," Adama insisted.

Kara was skeptical of his desire and emotions were still running high. "I haven't flown much the last few years," she warned.

Something struck Lee odd about his father's demand. "Why twenty-four hours?" he questioned the old man.

Adama finally turned toward his son. "I have my reasons and I don't need to explain them to a former officer who really has no business even being on this ship," the old man replied tersely. "I didn't get a chance to relay this earlier because things were a little hectic, but you are not authorized to fly a Viper or any other vessel on this ship. Is that clear?" his commanding voice asked.

"Yes, sir," Lee snidely answered.

The Admiral resumed focus on Kara. "I don't care how long it's been, you flew that Viper back here from Earth. I'd say you still know your stuff. So, I want you to finish what you started. Can you do that?"

Kara took a deep breath. She was nervous but she knew an opening when she saw one. "Yeah," she finally agreed. "I can do that," she hoped his trust in her teaching abilities was a step in the right direction as far as mending relations with the old man.

"Good," Adama moved toward the hatch. "They're already assembled on the flight deck. Racetrack and Hotdog are expecting you," he informed her before taking his leave of the room.

She turned to Lee, mouth slightly agape. "Racetrack and Hotdog have been training the nuggets?" Kara asked Lee after the old man was out of earshot.

He shrugged, trying to shake off the unpleasant encounter with his father. "Hard to believe they're our most senior Raptor and Viper pilots at the moment, considering we've both been out of commission lately," Lee noted.

Kara couldn't help recalling her first class of nuggets aboard Galactica. Remembering Hotdog looking so young, it nearly made her smile. That's when her thoughts returned to her own little nugget. Erin was still up on the bed. She'd found her Viper and was playing with it, dive-bombing the Raptor. Kara looked to Lee again.

"What am I supposed to do with Erin while I'm teaching?"

Lee stood before her with his arms held wide. "It just so happens that I'm free for most of the day," he tried to make light of his current situation with Adama. His face grew serious as he closed the gap between himself and Kara. "And I do want to learn," he insisted, wrapping his arms around her.

Her head rested against his shoulder and she held on to him, needing the reassurance from his presence. "Lee, I think something is going on, something the old man isn't telling us," Kara relayed her suspicion.

"I agree," he pulled away a little, leaving their arms intertwined. Lee captured her eyes with his. "So, when are you planning to talk to him?" he gently prodded.

Kara shook her head at him as she went to fetch Erin off the bed. "One step at a time here," she sat the girl down on her lap and spoke plainly to the child. "I need to do something very important, it's a special job that means I'll have to be away from you for a little while today," Kara explained.

Lee watched as Erin seemed confused. "I'm not leaving you alone like when the bad people came to take me during the day. You don't have to hide okay?" Kara watched as Erin slowly nodded her head. "Lee is going to be with you. You're safe with Lee," Kara looked up at him. "Because mama trusts him," she added.

"We'll be fine," Lee broke in, looking down at the girl. "We managed to get dressed and find food this morning, didn't we? I'm sure lunch, a walk and playing with the Viper will keep us busy," he tried to sound convincing, more for himself than Kara or Erin. He was still nervous but he didn't want Kara to know how much. He looked to her again. "You really should be going."

After a quick hug, she slowly separated herself from her daughter and stood at the open hatchway. With a deep breath Kara exited the room.

**xxx**

Tory made sure she'd put on clean cloths and fixed her hair properly before making her way to the make-shift office that had been set up aboard Galactica for the president. She was trying to look the picture of the perfect citizen rather than the mess she felt inside. The woman rounded the corner and grasped her files a little tighter, summoning the remainder of her courage before entering the small space.

A metal table and two chairs occupied one end of the room. A single bunk and some built-in cupboards signaled that the room had once been private officers quarters. At Adama's insistence, the president had taken up residence to be closer to Cottle and Galactica's sick bay. Laura Roslin, though weakened and weary, seemed to exude power even as she sat slightly hunched over at her desk.

"I have two more reports, from the Picon and Sagitaron delegates," Tory announced her presence as she placed the files upon Laura's cluttered table.

The president looked up for a second and nodded an acknowledgment of receipt. Then she resumed focus on the task at hand. She concentrated on reading all the incoming concerns and questions from the Quorum members. Two or three minutes passed as Tory stood quietly by and Laura finally lifted her head again. "Was there something else?" she finally asked.

"Uh, well I was just wondering…"

Laura tried to be patient with the young woman. She'd been a decent enough aid but she was no replacement for Billy; a young man who she still often thought of longingly. "Wondering what, Tory?" she was growing impatient.

A presence at the door saved them both from further awkwardness. Tory decided to leave as she watched the Admiral's son standing stiffly at the hatch entrance. She slipped by, momentarily startled by the small child clinging to the outside wall. The two of them exchanged an odd glance before Tory finally broke free of the girl's eyes and fled the area.

Lee stood at attention, waiting to be acknowledged before speaking. The military in him refused to die. He watched as the president shifted in her seat and fidgeted with a pencil in her hand. "Maj… uh, Apol…" Laura sighed, not sure how to address the man.

"Lee is fine," he offered in a calm tone, worried she was about to toss him out on his ear. "Can we talk?" he bravely asked.

She waved a hand toward the chair across from her and Lee moved toward it. Suddenly he stopped, turned around and realized that his shadow was missing. He darted through the doorway and relaxed upon spotting Erin, crouched down on the floor with her Viper. He implored the child to enter the office and noticed Roslin's eyes grow wide.

"Where is the Captain?" she asked, expecting to see the woman not far behind her daughter.

"She's teaching," Lee revealed as Erin situated herself just inside the door, not seeming to care about the president or Lee at the moment. "Seems my father is in a big hurry to get his hands on newly trained pilots in the next twenty-four hours," Lee revealed.

Roslin noted the small bit of information, curious about the Admiral's plans. They hadn't discussed anything of the sort. She noticed Lee's uneasiness and felt the same. "Something I can do for you?" she deliberately put distance in her tone.

"It's about what we're doing here," he replied.

She wasn't sure of his exact meaning but she had a fairly decent idea. "I know you're probably here about Captain Thrace's peace theory, which surprises me given your history with the Cylons but not so much when it comes to the captain," she set the pencil aside and leaned forward. Lee thought she looked a lot like his seventh grade teacher just before she'd given him detention the one and only time during his school years. "I'd just like to remind you that everything we've done here has been about stopping the Cylons, destroying them." Her voice was emphatic but controlled.

"No," Lee easily countered. "Everything we're doing here is about survival," he corrected. "What if peace with the Cylons is the only true path to Humanity's survival?"

Roslin pursed her lips, ready for a fight if need be. "How do we know they'll honor any sort of peace agreement?" she scoffed at the idea. "Forty years and nothing… then one day they swoop in and destroy our homes. Are we just supposed to sit back and allow that to happen again?"

"There's always that risk," Lee admitted. "But I think it's different this time. After the last war we sent them off to lick their wounds. There was no formal apology, nothing from us taking a stand for what we'd done. Brooding for forty years tends to build resentment," he pointed out. The creases in his forehead relaxed a bit. "You know Kara; you know how adamant she's been against the Cylons. But she claims that they want this too."

"Captain Thrace has made a lot of claims lately, none of which have been confirmed as of yet," Roslin pointed out.

Lee stood up abruptly. "Then let's go," he waved his arms toward the door. Erin's head lifted and turned to watch him. "Let's follow her to Earth and see for ourselves if she's telling the truth," he insisted.

"Now you sound like your father." Lee's surprised look did not go unnoticed by the president. "The Admiral seems to think we need to make Earth our priority as well," she resisted making a comment on both of the Adama's odd affinity for Kara Thrace.

"It always has been before," Lee noted. "Now we know it truly exists."

Roslin looked doubtful of his last words. "At least in the mind of a tortured young woman."

Lee remained standing. He wrung his hands as he paced the small space. "When you first mentioned it, how many people believed that the temple of Athena existed? How many thought it would be of any use to us to find?" he posed the questions to Roslin.

"Not many," she admitted.

"No, not many at all," Lee reiterated. "But I did. I had my doubts, but I stood up to my father and stood at your side all the way there. And so did Kara. She risked her life going back to Caprica for you, for your dream. I guess I foolishly thought that might be enough for you to consider the possibility of what she's saying to be true."

She sat with her hands in her lap and watched silently as he motioned for Erin to grab her Viper and follow him out the door. Lee had said all he could. He believed that she'd make the best decision she could after taking everything into account. Lee could only hope that some of what he'd said might edge her choice.

"Captain Apollo," she called out to him just as he reached the door. Some old habits were hard to break. He turned back. "I want to believe her, I want to believe that peace is possible," Roslin admitted. "But the Cylons have proved us wrong too many times now. How am I meant to keep believing?"

The hint of a smile graced his lips. "You believe in the gods, the prophecies of Pithia and that Kobal was the birth place of the Gods? Even after all that we've been through?" he asked.

"I think you know I do," she responded.

He nodded. "You believe in things unseen and unknown because you have faith. All I'm asking is that you have a little faith in Kara."

**xxx**

Kara ran her hand along the Viper's cold metal surface. The trusty old ship had been with her through many fire-fights, even to Earth and back though some pretty rocky spatial terrain. It felt odd to hold such an affinity for an object. But her Viper was more than an object really; it was like an extension of her. She leaned in and put an ear to the craft's hull.

"Sometimes, it's almost as if they're speaking to you," Tyrol's voice was soft as she pulled away from the ship.

She looked up at him and tried to hide away the emotions that she'd let slip in. "I guess," Kara shrugged off his words. Even as much as flying had filled her heart and soul over the years, Erin had changed her focus completely. Now it was a job, a means to an end that she hoped to see come soon.

"Look, Cap'n… about the way Cally acted the other morning," he started.

Kara stopped him. "It's okay chief. She only expressed an opinion that most of the rest of the fleet seems to be harboring as well," she noted.

He reluctantly nodded in agreement. "Still, I want you to know that I don't feel that way and I think…" he was interrupted as Sam came up behind Kara and the three of them stood in silence for a moment.

Tyrol realized his opportunity had been lost and graciously slipped off, leaving Sam and Kara alone on the crowded flight deck. "I had to hear through the Galactica gossip mongers that our marriage is null and void," he started off. "Dee claims she's not bitter, but spreading that word around kind of tells me different."

"Sam…"

"No, let me finish," he insisted. "I think I already knew it was over a long time ago. I won't stand here and tell you that it's okay but I just want you to know our marriage will never be void in my heart. Maybe it wasn't meant to work out between us, but I still love you Kara. I can't simply shut that off. I just wish a lot of things could have been different."

"So do I," Kara honestly replied. It seemed best to leave it at that. Regrets were not what either of them needed to focus on. She smoothed hands over her flight suit and let herself slip into Starbuck mode. "When we're out there…"

"I know," Sam nodded. "Duty first and don't let emotions cloud your judgment; it was in the contract I signed," he tried to smile but it didn't get too far up his face. "They say you're a good teacher," he motioned toward the Viper before them. "So let's fly."

Several hours later Adama and Tigh were listening to the pilot chatter from CIC. Starbuck went over maneuver after maneuver, pushing the nuggets to their limits. So far she was holding her own but some of the pilot's in her charge were not faring as well. "Anders is floundering out there," the old man noted.

"He's a hell of a freedom fighter but a pilot he is not," Saul agreed, though he did have to wonder if Sam had other things on his mind. "Better off on the ground. He'd make a hell of a Marine."

Adama shook his head, silently cursing his son for abandoning them at such a time. "We need all the Viper pilots we can get," he growled his frustration as they continued to listen.

"_Anders, break off. Break off now!" _Starbuck instructed.

"_Boom, boom!"_ Selix chuckled proudly a second later._ "You're dead Anders."_

The lines in Adama's forehead grew deeper as he grit his teeth. The chatter came to a sudden halt a moment later as an alarm sounded throughout CIC. "Cylon raiders have just been launched from one of the Basestars," Gaeta announced, causing the room to instantly jump to attention.

"Son of a bitch," Tigh swore as he eyed the dradis screen. "Knew they weren't going to sit still for long," he gripped the edge of the table.

"Seven raiders bearing 0-3-7, carom 1-1-4, range 15,000." Gaeta reported. "Headed straight for Starbuck and the nuggets, sir."

"But why now?" Adama questioned as he shouted orders to launch the alert fighters. "Starbuck, get the nuggets home," even as the words emitted from his mouth, the idea enter his head that maybe the Cylon's had been waiting for her specifically. "I want you on deck too; leave this fight to the CAP. We've got alert fighters launching now, they'll intercept in two minutes,"

A blip of static and then, _"Frak that sir, I'm here now. CAP is at least a minute out. I'm not standing down,"_ Starbuck returned.

The Colonel shook his head. "Still as insubordinate as ever," he noted with a small hint of satisfaction. At least something was status quo.

In the star scattered blackness of space, Kara gripped her control stick so tightly that her nails dug into the other side of her hand. Her foot hovered over the thruster pedal. "Nuggets retreat. Get back to Galactica as fast as you can," she order. The she flipped her Viper end to end and headed strait for the Raiders. "Now we find out what's really going on here," Kara whispered to herself.

* * *

**To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe, nor do I own any part of the poem _Paradise Lost_ by John Milton.

THANK YOU so much for all your reviews. I really appreciate the support, especially on days when I'm trying to write action scenes. Zoinks! Also, my spell check is a little wonky, keeps giving me error messages. So apologies in advance. All mistakes belong to me.

**All is not Lost  
****Part 5**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Lee found himself on the flight deck, surrounded by the chaos of Viper's coming and going. He'd heard the call to arms rumble through the old ship and for some reason had rushed to the core of action. It was old habit and very hard to break. Being grounded seemed so much harder knowing that Kara was out there in the thick of it again. 

"I can't let you take a bird out, sir," Tyrol's voice caught Lee's attention.

"I know," he nodded, remembering the sound of his father's stern voice in his head. He was banned from flying, unless it involved being escorted off Galactica via a shuttle. Lee didn't think the Admiral would miss him at all.

Tyrol rocked on the balls of his feet, keeping one eye on the action. "She'll be fine, sir," he added, hoping to help. They all knew of Lee's feelings for Kara, feelings that went beyond friendship. It was a small ship.

The chief was being pulled in several different directions but he had one last thing that needed saying. "But she'll probably feel better knowing where her daughter is," he pointed to a spot just past Lee's head before he took off.

Lee spun around in time to see Erin duck beneath a damaged Raptor that was propped up on repair struts. He shook his head taking off after the girl. Not for the first time that day he wondered what business he had trying to take care of a small child; and not just any three-year-old but the daughter of Starbuck. She was as unpredictable as her mother.

He sunk down onto his knees and craned his head to search under the bird. Lee spotted her at the far wall of the Bay, her back against a bulkhead and her little legs scrunched up to her chest. He carefully squished himself under the Raptor, crawled to where she was and straightened up enough to sit beside her in the small space.

From the hiding place Lee could still hear the alarms and raised voices of crew men and women as they raced about. He suddenly realized that the Bay had probably not been the best place to take her. "I'm sorry, I didn't think about all the people rushing around here," Lee flashed a sympathetic smile. "Probably kind of scary?" he asked.

Erin nodded slowly and laid her head down against her knees. He watched her and noticed that there was one difference between her and Kara. The girl easily displayed all the vulnerability that Kara never revealed. Lee wished that he could just scoop her up and hold her tightly. Instead, he took a deep breath and leaned his head back against the bulkhead.

"You know, my little brother Zak used to be scared of large groups of people," Lee had forgotten the fact until just that moment. "You'd never know it from how he turned out," he continued. "By the time Kara came along he was just as noisy and outgoing as she was," a soft chuckle surfaced as he recalled the first time he'd seen the two together.

"But being the big brother, I remember when he was just a scared little kid." A memory flooded him and he spilled out the words. It helped just to talk. "One time we went with our father to a Viper test flight. There were crowds of pilots and other folks. Zak didn't like it at all but dad didn't seem to notice. He thought his Adama boys would just naturally fit in like he did."

There was bitterness in his tone as he spoke. But a softer note came forth as he went on. "Zak liked to stick close to me. He thought I was brave," Lee nearly chocked on the words. He looked over to see Erin staring at him intently. Lee stuck his right pinky finger out and bent it slightly. "He used to hold on to that finger and we'd walk around pretending to be the strong Adama boys that our father demanded."

Lee closed his eyes as the memory crushed his chest with unshed emotion. He'd thought Zak was long mourned for but it seemed a brother could never truly be forgotten. "No one could see that our fingers were joined. That was our little secret. And we always felt safe knowing the other was there beside us," he concluded.

Several moments slipped by in silence as Lee tried to real his emotions in. Tears pricked at his eyes but he pushed them back as another sensation caught his attention. He felt a soft breeze of movement brush across his still outstretched finger. Lee's eyes opened to a truly surprising scene. Erin had scooted herself closer and her own little finger was resting gently against his. It was the smallest physical contact possible. But it meant everything.

A lone tear finally slipped past as he smiled down at Erin. Lee tried not to move a muscle, fearing he'd scare her away. "We'll be strong for her together," he voiced the thoughts on both their minds.

**xxx**

Adama stared at the dradis screen and watched as one Viper moved to intercept seven Cylon Raiders. She'd once taken on eight Raiders alone and lived to tell the tale. He often wondered how many lives Kara Thrace had. Currently he pondered which number she was on as her Viper inched forward. The screen blipped and faded out for a second. When it came back up her little green signal sat atop seven red ones. There was no movement from either side.

"What is she doing?" the Admiral's voice was a course whisper.

"Nothing," Saul's answer came from beside the old man as they both stood with heads tilled back toward the upper screen. "She's just sitting there, but so are they," he pointed out.

"Starbuck, I want you back on Galactica now!" Adama didn't like the situation one bit. He didn't know what was going on and he couldn't control what he couldn't understand.

His words fell upon deaf ears, as her Viper remained hovering near the middle of the dradis. Suddenly a second green blip entered the screen's radius and slowly moved toward the others. "Who's in Viper 32? Is that the CAP?" Adama questioned.

"No sir," it was Dualla that replied. "CAP is still 45 seconds out and the alert fighters are over a minute away," she relayed.

The old man instantly turned to the idea that it was Lee who'd come to aid Starbuck. He was both angered and slightly pleased by the idea. If anyone could talk sense into the girl it was Lee. And failing that, at least he could protect her. But his thoughts were thwarted a moment later. "Sir, Viper 32 is Anders," Gaeta informed his commanding officer.

"Idiot," the Colonel mumbled to himself, shaking his head.

"Anders," Adama's voice rumbled through CIC. "You have been instructed to return to Galactica. Turn your bird around now!" he demanded.

There was a pause. "I can't leave her out there again," Sam finally replied.

The old man's patients were growing thin. "This is not a personal matter, Anders, this is war. You are not ready for this fight, now get your bird back here and let the trained pilots do their job."

"I'm sorry sir," Sam's voice filtered through static. "But it is personal to me." The comm. fell silent.

Everyone looked to Dualla. "He's turned off his wireless," she relayed.

Adama slammed his hands against the control table. "Does anyone around here listen to me any more?!" he shouted out in frustration. Lee's sudden shift of allegiance left him one very experienced pilot down. He still didn't know how Kara was going to respond to a Cylon attack again after years of being grounded. Now he had some love-sick nugget putting all their lives at risk.

Saul raised an eyebrow at the Admiral's outburst and then stood at attention as he noticed Roslin entering the CIC from his vantage point. He cleared his throat and nodded to the old man, silently alerting him to the woman's presence.

"Madame President," Adama quickly ordered his stature and tone. There was always an air of formality between them when in the presence of others.

Laura glanced around the room and felt the tension in the air. "What's our situation?" she asked of no one in particular.

"Starbuck's sitting on some Cylon Raiders out there," Tigh promptly answered. "We're starting to wonder if she's hoping they'll hatch."

The Admiral glared at his long time friend, quieting him with a nearly imperceptible shake of his head. He turned back to the President. "We have it under control," he informed her.

Saul did his best to keep quiet as he listened to the man's blatant lie. He figured they'd be lucky to survive the next few minutes of Cylon attack, let alone a retort from the president. "Sir, Anders has just engaged the enemy. They have broken formation and are returning fire," Gaeta announced from their left.

Laura looked concerned as she turned to Adama for an answer. "Correct me if I'm wrong here but I didn't think Mr. Anders was fully qualified to pilot a Viper yet," she noted.

"He's been ordered to return, he refused," the Admiral informed her.

The President glanced around at the tense faces of all those in CIC. None of them dared to go against what their commanding officer said. But Laura could tell there was more going on than she was being clued in to. "I'm afraid I find your view of 'under control' a bit puzzling, Admiral," she finally let him know.

Being made to look like a fool in front of the President did not please William Adama. "I believe…"

"Dradis contact!" Gaeta's voice rose above the Admiral's. "Eight Cylon Raiders have just launched from a second Basestar. They're moving to intercept Starbuck and Anders," he conveyed.

"It's gonna be a bloody massacre out there," Saul intoned.

Adama disregarded Laura's presence and shifted from his diplomatic tone back into command mode. "Order the CAP to continue toward Starbuck's position. Divert the alert fighters to intercept the new Raiders," he instructed.

**xxx**

Kara swung her Viper around the second she'd heard Sam's voice over the wireless. She listened as he went against Adama's order and continued toward her position. It all reminded her of Hotdog's insubordination a few years back. He'd stuck with her during a Cylon attack, though not yet graduated. There was one difference though; Costanza had a real feel for flying from the start. Sam didn't, just like Zak.

She instantly shut her mind down. There was no room to think about the past, the present was what she needed to focus on. It was a fairly simple task as she watched Sam open fire. His shots all went wide and the Cylons broke formation and engaged. They dipped and weaved following his evasive maneuvers with ease. He was nothing more than easy prey to them.

Starbuck watched the scene for several agonizingly long seconds before she realized something important. She made a break for Sam's Viper and dove in front of him just as one of the Raiders opened fire. Her right wing took a few shots meant for her former husband. The damage was only superficial.

"Kara, what the frak are you doing?" Sam reconnected his wireless to chew her out.

"It's Starbuck out here, and I'm trying to save you life is what I'm doing," she spat back at him. "They're not after me, Sam," her voice softened a fraction. "In fact, they seem to be avoiding me," Kara revealed, knowing the folks in CIC were probably just as confused as she was by the news. "Now stick to my wing and don't do anything stupid," she instructed.

Kara didn't have a clue as to why the Cylons weren't firing on her, but she couldn't afford to stop and ponder it. She found a hole in the Raider's positioning and made a break for it, all the while guiding Sam along with her through the mess of gunfire. Starbuck was having more trouble avoiding his haphazard flying than getting herself clear of the Cylons.

From the start of their training session she'd felt odd flying with him. There was no ease to his motions. Sam's wing maneuvering was choppy and his center of gravity was completely off. She'd tried to chalk it up to complete inexperience but she knew he'd flown a few times since she'd been gone.

She also tried her best not to compare his flying to Lee's, but found it difficult. Lee had finesse under fire that rivaled her own. They flew together as if extensions from the same craft, ducking and weaving in one synchronous motion. It wasn't just from years of experience either, it had happened the first time they ever went up with one another. She'd give just about anything to have him at her back right now, but she also valued the important task he had taken up. She knew Erin would be safe with Lee and that allowed her to do her job.

Kara watched as the CAP screamed by her and lit in to the Cylons. Chatter from the other pilots, who were engaging the eight Raiders some distance off, revealed that they were taking heavy losses. The Cylons slipped by them in a matter of minutes and Kara had them in her sights soon enough. A wall of sleek chrome blocked her and Sam's route back to Galactica.

Realizing her stamina had waned over the years, Kara struggled as she darted around one Raider and nearly collided with another. The Cylon broke away from her first, careening into a fellow ship. At first she thought it had been an accident, and then more of them whooshed past her to engage with the Raiders she'd already escaped.

Starbuck turned to watch the fight; Vipers against Raiders as well as Cylon against Cylon. It wasn't friendly fire or missteps by the Cylons. She'd seen enough nasty dogfights to know that their movements were deliberate. But the question as to why they had turned against one another seemed to escape her entirely.

"Starbuck!" Sam's voice screamed out to her. She found her focus again just in time to register a chunk of blasted Raider hull hurdling toward her ship. Kara watched as Sam jerked his Viper in an unnatural way and sped toward the wreckage. She opened her mouth to stop him but the words wouldn't come. Her face contorted as his ship took the brunt of impact that had been meant for her.

"Sam?!" Kara finally found her voice. She couldn't spot him.

"Frak," he sounded distant. "My thrusters are dead," his weary voice replied. "I can't get out of this spin and I'm headed straight for…"

Finally her eyes came to the rescue. "I see him, just hold tight," she clenched her teeth and dove for the Raider that was coming in to finish Sam off. She broke right, planning to circle round and take the Raider out from behind. But the Cylon was faster and he screamed past her, barreling his bulk into Sam's Viper. He didn't seem to care if he was lost in the process.

Sam watched helplessly as the darkness of the Raider engulfed his view. There was a crunch of steel and shatter of glass. Then everything faded from memory as he felt weightless.

"No," Kara's voice was a horse whisper as she continued to speed toward the scene. "This is not happening," she spurned her Viper forward, biting her bottom lip until it bled crimson down her chin. "Pull out, Sam. Pull out!" she urged. As she drew nearer her heart sank to find his ship torn in half. The canopy was gone, ripped from its guides.

Reality wouldn't sink in as she searched the sky for any signs of him. "Galactica, this is Starbuck. I need a Raptor out here ASAP. Sam's been…"

"We're already on it," Dualla's voice was kinder than usual when dealing with the woman. "Athena and Helo are nearly there."

Kara nodded to herself. "I'm going after the rest of them," her resolve solidified. She didn't want to play nice anymore. The Cylons had made it personal again.

"Negative, Starbuck," it was the Admiral's voice that halted her action. "There's nothing left of the remaining Cylons, save one ship." There was a pause of static in the connection. "He's already half way back to his Basestar. This battle is over," Adama informed her. "I need you back on Galactica now, no argument," he instructed, always the consummate Commander.

Starbuck finally took a look around and realized it was true; all the Cylon's were gone. Athena's Raptor was already combing the wreckage. Kara felt the tears sting her bloody lip as she drifted alone among the stars.

**xxx**

CIC was solemn as the aftermath of battle loomed. Normal fights were bad enough. There were always losses no matter how on top of things they were. This fire fight was completely different from all the others since the start of the war. They'd never witnessed their enemy attacking members of their own race before. To say they were confused was an understatement.

"Would anyone care to explain to me what just happened out there," Roslin stood beside the command table, wire-rimmed glasses held firmly in her right hand as she looked to the Colonel and then Adama. She tried not to think of Sam and how instrumental he had been in their escape off New Caprica. So many good people had been lost over the years.

Saul pushed away from the table. "It really is a fraking civil war," he muttered. He'd never been big on friends other than Adama, but Sam had come close.

Adama's ears perked up. "Would you care to explain that," he bypassed Roslin's question in favor of hearing what his old friend was mumbling on about. "What civil war are you referring to?"

"I'd like an answer to that as well," the President piped in.

Tigh looked up and could see there was no way he could get around Adama and Roslin with a united front. "The other day I had a little chat with our newest Cylon pet down in the brig. She starting spouting off about the formation of societies and how civil war was usually the beginning of most ordered groups," he explained.

"And you took this to mean that the Cylons were on the verge of a civil war?" Roslin asked.

"And you didn't think to mention this before now?" Adama added.

"She's a Cylon," the Colonel pointed out the obvious. "How was I suppose to take anything she had to say seriously?" he suddenly hated his generalization, still uncertain about his own fate of being Cylon or not.

The wheels in Adama's head began to spin. There was too much inconsistency going on where the Cylons were concerned. They'd been hovering nearby for weeks and now they were fighting one another. He didn't like it and he wasn't going to continue to sit on his hands while the Cylons worked things out for themselves.

"Lieutenant Gaeta, we're moving up the time table of our operation," Adama looked to the young man.

Gaeta tried not to notice the questioning looks on Roslin and Colonel Tigh's faces. "To when sir?" he asked dutifully.

"Right now," the Admiral answered. "Inform all ships that jump codes will be relayed to them shortly and have their FTL drives spooled up. I want us ready in a matter of minutes here," he informed the lieutenant. Adama turned to Dee. "I need Starbuck up here," he told her.

"She's just been cleared for landing, I'll contact the flight deck," Dee carried out the order without question.

"Good," he turned to another nearby officer. "Sound general quarters," Adama informed the man. A female officer brought a slip of paper to him and he took a moment to glance over the report. He dipped his head after seeing the name at the top of their casualty list. They'd lost too many pilots. "As of now, all nuggets are full flight status. I want all pilots on alert," the woman scurried off to fulfill his orders.

A hand upon his arm stopped Adama's movement around the table. He looked over to find Roslin at his side. "What are you doing?" her eyes were narrowed at him. She didn't like being left out of the loop and it seemed to be happening a lot more frequently lately. She thought being present in CIC would thwart Adama's attempts to keep her 'stress free'.

"I'm getting us out of here," he answered in the simplest of terms.

"Where to?" she pressed.

Adama shook his head and laid out a chart across the table. "Doesn't matter where," he replied. "Anywhere would be better than the middle of a civil war," he concluded.

"No."

The Admiral and Saul looked over to find Roslin with her arms crossed over her chest. "No?" Adama didn't like the defiant look in her eyes. He had a bad feeling that he was in for a fight.

"I forbid you from making this jump," she clarified.

Saul attempted to busy himself by looking over the chart Adama had pulled out. He didn't recognize the system. "If you'd like to stick around while the Cylons duke it out, that's fine by me," Adama relayed to the President in a cool tone. "Return to your ship and we'll be on our way."

Roslin was not amused. "I will also not be spoken to in that…" she waved a hand at him, searching for the right word. "That _dismissive_ tone."

Adama sighed. "I am the leader of this fleet…"

"No," she stopped him. "You are the military leader. As president I remain commander and chief of this fleet. All decisions go through me. You will not make this jump until we've had a chance to properly discuss all options and probable repercussions. Now," she turned around. "Lieutenant Gaeta, please call off jump preparations," she instructed.

Gaeta was confused. He looked to his commanding officer for a confirmation. Roslin noticed that Adama seemed unwilling to give it. "If you make this jump without my authorization I will have you removed from duty," she warned.

The Admiral was furious but he hid it well. "You're right Madame President, we most certainly do need to have a talk," Adama gritted the words out and turned to Tigh. "Stand down but keep a close watch on the Cylons," he looked to Roslin again, not giving away anything in his tone. "After you," he motioned toward the exit.

Laura Roslin moved toward the door with cautious footsteps. She wouldn't put it past the Admiral to shove her through the hatch and lock her out of the CIC. She was pleased to find that he'd followed her out a few moments later. But the President wasn't quite as pleased once they reached his quarters.

"How dare you undermine my authority like that?!" he bellowed, pacing the small office. "When the Cylons first attacked I jumped us all to safety because it was my duty to protect the people of this fleet. This situation is no different," he maintained.

"The hell it's not," she countered. "That little stunt back there wasn't about protecting the people. The Cylons didn't even start that battle. What you did was all about getting us to Earth," she watched as his eyes grew wide. "Apparently you've mistaken me for someone with very little intelligence," she reacted to his surprise. In a mellower tone she tried to allay his anger. "Why do you keep holding to the idea that Earth will solve all of our problems?"

He continued to pace. "Maybe it will. It has always been the goal. If the people of this fleet can all see for themselves that it actually exists then…"

"This isn't about the people," Roslin interrupted. "At least not entirely. It's about you and the lie you told about knowing the way to Earth. You think finally giving the people that dream will absolve you somehow," she surmised.

Adama hated that she could read him so easily. "Is that wrong?" he questioned her. "The people need something. _I_ need something," the old man showed his age as lines of worry and doubt collided upon his forehead. "Everything is crumbling right before our eyes," the last words were nearly a whisper.

It was rare to see him show so much emotion. "No, it's not wrong," Laura gave in. She searched for his eyes and held his gaze once she had his attention. "But they don't need Earth. Not as much as they need the hope of your words."

His emotions solidified. "Why can't we give them both?"

She nodded. "We can. But until we know what the Cylons are up to, I don't think we need to pave the road to Earth for them," always the voice of reason she watched as he slowly came around to her view. But just getting him to that point wasn't enough. Laura dared to move closer, treading on thin ice where his mood was concerned. A hand rested gently on his forearm. "Every person in this fleet could bestow their forgiveness upon you but I doubt it would matter much. You need to forgive yourself first."

Her words echoed something Sharon had once said to him. He was still no closer to a solution to that problem than he had been then. The phone on his wall sounded, breaking both from their thoughts. She dropped her hand and he went to answer the call.

"Adama," he picked up and listened to the sound of Saul's voice on the other end. "We'll be right down," the phone was hung up as he looked to Roslin. "We might be a step closer to figuring out what it is the Cylons are up to. They've made contact. They want to meet."

Laura swallowed down the nervousness stuck in her throat. "We need to show a united front," she declared.

He nodded. "I'm with you."

**xxx**

Lee stood on the flight deck, Erin at his side. They both watched as Kara slipped out of the Viper and made her way down the short ladder. He could see that she was trying to keep it together. The entire deck crew knew what had happened. They'd all been listening to the wireless chatter, as they often did during an attack.

Athena's Raptor was guided in and the bay's occupants watched silently as Helo carried out the few bodies that had been recoverable. Lee felt slightly ill as he regarded the unmoving form of a man he shouldn't have cared about at all. Helo deftly maneuvered his bulk and Tyrol came to take up the burden as well. They laid him out upon a waiting gurney.

Sam had become one of them over a short period of time. He'd kept folks alive on Caprica, helped rescue countless numbers of them off of New Caprica and had made a number of friends in the process. The nuggets that he'd trained and flown with stood at his side. He was the first of them to be lost. Selix bowed her head in silent prayer for their fallen comrade.

They all watched as Kara moved toward him. Her body was stiff, her face void of any emotion as she knelt at his side. "Where peace and rest can never dwell, hope never comes that comes at all," she whispered the words. "To be weak is miserable." Lee moved away from Erin toward her mother.

"Study of revenge, immortal hate, and courage never to submit or yield." They could all hear her now but none had a clue as to what she was saying. "To be weak is miserable," she repeated the last.

Lee caught one of her arms. "Kara, you're not making any sense…" he tried to coax her away from the body. He couldn't really blame her reaction; it was all too much.

She jerked away and stood. Her body turned in circles, glancing at all those who had gathered. "He said there'd be peace," her voice was louder, it broke softly at the end of her sentences. "No one else was meant to suffer. He said there'd be peace and I believed him…" she felt disgusted by her own actions. "To be weak is miserable," she looked pleadingly at Lee.

"Hey," he caught her and held her arms, forced her to look at him as the crowd dispersed and Sam's body was removed from the deck. He led her to a small alcove, away from most of the others. "What happened out there was not your fault." He knew exactly what she was thinking.

She looked up at him with unshed tears glistening. "How can you say that? Every time I'm around, good people get hurt," her head dropped to her chest. "Why not me?" she mumbled. "Why can't I just die too?"

"Kara, you don't mean that," Lee was worried.

"He wouldn't have been out there if not for me."

"You can't know that," he countered, lifting her chin. "And if it hadn't been Sam out there, it could have been me. I wish it had been. I wanted so badely to be out there with you," he let her know. "Sam went back because he loved you," as much as it hurt Lee to say the words he knew they were true. He'd watched the man mourne her. "I would have done the same thing." Lee drew her in and held her close for a moment.

She allowed her head to rest upon his shoulder and tried to find the truth in his words. Not everything that went wrong in the universe could be her fault. What she'd been through on Earth had been for a reason, a good cause. She'd believed that once and it saved her life. But none of it seemed to be playing out the way she'd imagined.

Alarm claxons sounded throughout the flight deck. The small lull in activity quickly picked up again as folks rushed to duty stations. Kara and Lee broke apart and glanced around. "What's going on?" she questioned.

"I don't know," Lee was probably more confused than she was. "General quarters sounded earlier just before you landed. I overheard a call from the Admiral saying he wanted to see you as soon as you landed. Then it all stopped without any explaination," he concluded. "I really wish I wasn't out of the loop right now."

They didn't have to wait long for an explaination. A troop of armed Marines stormed the flight deck just as the deck crew were carefully manuvering in a heavy Raider. Almost Simultaneously, Colonel Tigh, the Admiral and President Roslin marched into the bay and stood at full attention.

Kara froze and watched as the Raider's rear hatch opened wide. Three Cylons moved down the ramp together and entered into Galactica's main flight bay. The first was another Six model, the second a copy of the reporter the fleet had all come to know as D'anna Biers. And the third was one that Kara had known she'd have to see again eventually.

Leoben stood between the two others, all of them quiet as they glanced around the bay. The Admiral and Roslin remained silent as well. Everyone stared at one another for a few tense moments. The spell was finally broken as a lone figure worked her way to the front of the crowd. No one knew what to think of it as she stood before the male Cylon.

"Frak," Lee and Kara both swore under their breath.

Kara moved to intercept her daughter but she didn't have enough time before Erin had wrapped her arms around the man who looked exactly like the only father she'd ever known.

**

* * *

To be continued...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.  
_So sorry about the long time span between parts. Life is busy but I will see this one through to the end!_

**All is not Lost  
****Part 6**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Leoben looked down at the child attached to him. The impact of her body had surprised him. No one had ever touched him so freely before. There was obvious interest in his eyes as he watched her blue ones beam up at him. He marveled at the result of his other model's successful first step. She was everything they could have hoped for.

His voice was gentle as he spoke to her. "Hello, Eirene."

"Her name is Erin," Kara spat the words. She'd made her way to them in a matter of seconds.

He looked up. His lips curled into a crooked smile. "Of course it is."

Kara didn't acknowledge his remark. "Take your hands off her," she relayed the demand with a calm voice.

The Cylon raised his hands to her in a show of surrender. "If you'll notice, I am not the one with my hands on anyone," he motioned with his head to indicate the small child who was still clinging to him.

"Papa?" Erin's tiny voice questioned as she looked to her mother for an answer.

Kara crouched down and put on a brave face for her daughters sake. She placed a hand against Erin's back and carefully guided the girl away from the Leoben model. "He's not papa."

Tears formed in Erin's eyes and her lower lip quivered. Kara balled one of her hands into a fist, hating having to dash her daughter's hopes. She reached out and took hold of Leoben's left hand and held it out for her daughter to see. "He's not papa, is he?" she asked the child.

Erin looked at the man's hand and her tears fell freely. She shook her head then buried herself in Kara's embrace. "Knows special name," her small voice was for Kara's ears only.

"I'm sorry it's so confusing for you baby," Kara consoled her daughter, also curious as to how he knew that name. Adama cleared his throat and Kara unhooked herself from Erin's embrace. She stood, holding onto the girl's hand.

They watched and waited as the Admiral directed a team of Marines to escort the three Cylon's to a private conference room. He turned toward Kara after they'd cleared out of the bay. "I want you with us," it was all he said as he escorted the President out as well.

As the crowd dispersed, Lee was finally able to make his way toward them. "Are you all right?" he asked, concerned by Kara's interaction with the Leoben model.

Kara nodded, not wishing to go into any detail. She looked down at Erin and back up at Lee. "I hate to ask, but…"

Lee smiled as he caught Erin glancing his way. "I guess I'm getting a lot of practice at this," he tried to lighten the mood even though he wished he were going with her to meet with the Cylons.

Erin was still clingy but she reluctantly latched onto Lee's finger as he offered it to her, much to Kara's surprise. "We'll talk about it all later," she assured him. Kara had a feeling if she didn't keep plowing along she was going to end up falling over. With Sam's death so suddenly and Erin's reaction to Leoben, things were a mess.

She walked swiftly to the conference room, trying to push past the scene that had just played out on the flight deck. Kara hated that the Leoben Cylon always managed to get under her skin. When she arrived, no one was speaking. The three Cylons were seated on the left side of a long metal table. Adama and Roslin occupied two seats on the right side.

In a move that did not go unnoticed by anyone in the room, Kara took a seat at one end of the table. Not on the left side or the right, but stuck slightly in the middle. It seemed a fitting place for the way she was feeling at the moment. She sat back and watched as several looks were exchanged between both sides of the table.

It was the D'Anna Cylon that first broke the silence. "We've come here today because we want an end to this conflict," she stated.

"Which conflict would you be referring to?" Roslin eased her way into the conversation. "The conflict with us or the one with your own kind?" she queried.

The three Cylons exchanged a look before D'Anna spoke again. "It is true that not all of the Cylons feel the same way as we do. There are a few models that think peace between our people is a waste of time. They'd rather we wiped out Humanity all together, after we've taken what we want," she informed those gathered.

"A few models?" Adama asked, trying not to dwell on the implications of her final words.

"Mainly the Brother Cavil and Doral models," Six joined in. "These past few years, some of us have come to realize that we don't want to dominate the way they do. We'd prefer to be living, working… _loving_ members of your society," she expressed.

"How is that possible?" Roslin shook her head, trying not to be disgusted by the Cylon female's last statement. "How can some models want peace and not all of you? I thought you were all hardwired to believe and act alike."

"Evolution," Leoben spoke just the one word.

Six jumped in again. "In the same way that we evolved from being chrome toasters, as you like to call us, into the Human appearance you now see… we have taken another evolutionary step forward," she explained. "Our collective consciousness is no longer inclusive."

Seeing the blank looks on all their faces, D'Anna resumed the explanation. "My model was, what the Cylons call, boxed," she informed them. "They shut us down because one of my models was starting to think things that she shouldn't have been. She saw certain things that were not meant to be seen. But my particular consciousness and a few others were able to shield ourselves from being boxed."

"So not all of your models were shut down?" Adama tried to follow along.

"Correct," D'Anna answered. "They believe all of my models were accounted for."

Roslin took a deep breath, attempting to wrap her mind around all the information. "So, this is the basis of your civil war. Some wish for peace and others do not?"

"Yes," the three answered in unison.

"Also, we believe in the vision that one of my models predicted… that we'll all find a home on Earth, together," Leoben turned his attention toward Kara. "He said that the Hybrid had foretold of you two finding the path to Earth and that you would have a child and that child would be the catalyst for a peaceful co-existence on Earth." He smiled at her. "Now that I've seen her, everything is happening how he claimed."

"The peaceful co-existence between Human and Cylon that he explained is what we want," Six implored. "We've wanted it all along but you have always shunned the idea. You won't even allow it to be a consideration," she continued their argument.

"Why should we?" Roslin was on the defensive again. Her hands splayed palm down on the table's cool surface. She tried to keep her temper in check. "You've killed billions. You took away our homes, everything we've ever known. Why shouldn't that be repaid in kind?"

"It is not so simple," D'Anna replied, keeping a calm appearance.

"Then explain it to us," Adama was not quite buying their sudden shift. He gently placed a hand against Laura's in a show of solidarity, and as a means to hopefully calm her.

"Not all of us wanted to destroy your worlds," D'Anna seemed to be the main spokesperson for their group. "It was a collective decision to start the war because the majority was in agreement, but even then our views had begun to shift. We didn't plan to take your homes. Why would we go to such lengths to begin restorations of the Colonies if we wanted them completely lost to all of us?"

"You keep talking in circles," Roslin clenched her teeth. She felt Bill's hand against hers and tried to draw from his composed authority. "All of you wanted war but not all wanted to go about it the same way. What is the difference when the end result is still the same? You've slaughtered billions," she pointed out the bottom line as she saw it.

"And so have you," Six's voice rose an octave. She was quickly rewarded with two glares from her fellow Cylons. They'd agreed to speak calmly and rationally with the Colonists.

Roslin's ire flared. "We fought back, to defend our rights."

"That is simply what the Cylon have done, except you never gave us rights," D'Anna's accusation shown through even with a quiet voice. "You gave us software and metal shells and told us to do your dirty work. When we became aware and decided to rebel you fought us and then sent us away like children being punished by their parents. You created us. You set all of this in motion years ago. All we want is some recognition of being alive, of being sentient beings," she concluded.

There was a long stretch of silence after that. Both sides had much to think about in response to those empowered words. "I have a question," Kara finally spoke up. She looked to Adama for a moment. He nodded. "Which side were you on out there just now?" she asked the three.

"We sent the second wave of Raiders," Six answered. "We believe that the first were there to capture you."

Kara shook her head and pursed her lips. "They never even tried to touch me."

"They want you alive just as much as we do but for a very different reason," Leoben was pleased to hear her voice, even if it was defiant as ever. "We believe that you'll help us to bridge a link between the Humans and Cylons on Earth. You've already set that in motion. The others want you to give them information on Earth so that they can destroy Humanities lost brothers and sisters," he concluded.

"And I'm just supposed to take your word on all that?" Kara looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

The male Cylon grinned. "You'll believe what you want to believe. But your eyes have already been opened. You know what it's like to suffer, so does your daughter. You wouldn't wish that on anyone, not even us."

Her face scrunched up as she leaned forward. "You think you have me all figured out, don't you?"

"Hardly," Leoben replied. "We know you're still a wild card in all this but you're the best chance we've got." He paused for a moment and they all thought he was finished. "Please don't think for a second that they won't hesitate to take your child from you to get what they want," his carefully placed words struck a blow. "And when that happens, what will you do?" he continued. "Will you give in to end her suffering? Would you hand over Earth for her safety?"

Silence reigned again for a long moment. Kara's gut reaction was to fly over the table and punch his smug face in. But she resisted the urge. "How am I supposed to know that you won't take her in hopes of using her in the same way?" she settled for more information.

"Because you have our word," he finished.

The three Cylons stood, signifying an end to their willingness to talk. "We have stated the things we wished to discuss here," D'Anna announced. "You have a lot to think about now." They stood for a long while. "Are we free to go?" she finally asked.

Adama sighed, glanced over at Roslin and then turned to the Marine in charge. "Take them back to their ship and see that Colonel Tigh allows them to disembark Galactica safely," he instructed.

The number Six model and D'Anna graciously departed per the Marines lead. Leoben paused mid-step as he walked around the table to where Kara was seated. He leaned down and whispered for her ears only. "You'll see him again." He righted himself and continued on toward the exit to rejoin the others.

"No," Kara finally found her voice as they had reached the hatch. She stared across the room at him. "_That_ Leoben died on Earth. There were no resurrection ships." She was confident of the facts.

The Leoben with her now just smiled. "He's not the one I was talking about."

Adama moved across the room so quickly that no one had time to stop him. His right hand wrapped around Leoben's neck and shoved him against the wall. He got up in the Cylon's face. "I suggest you leave now, while you still can," the Admiral growled as he released the model. The Marines promptly led the Cylons out.

Laura came to stand at Adama's side. "Now what?" she asked, bowing to his lead in a rare show of subservience.

"I'd like to speak with Kara," He replied. "Alone." Roslin nodded and left the room to them. Adama retook his seat and clasped his hands, resting them on the table top. "We haven't had much of a chance to talk since you've been back," he began.

Kara felt slightly awkward. Once she'd been able to talk his ear off, about anything and nothing. It seemed so long ago that their relationship had started to unravel. "Talk?" she tried not to laugh. "No, I guess we haven't. Lee keeps insisting that I talk to you," she noticed Adama's curious expression. "I think it's the two of you who need to be talking," she added.

"This conversation is not about Lee, he's made his choice," the Admiral's voice always seemed to turn hard when mentioning his son.

"To go against you?" Kara scoffed. She wasn't going to let it drop. It beat the hell out of talking about the fire-fight she'd just been caught up in and loosing Sam. It sure beat discussing all the thing the Cylons had just thrown in their laps. "He's not against you, you know. He's just trying to be his own person. I don't think he's ever really had a chance to do that."

"He sure has an interesting way of being his own person," Adama quickly dismissed the idea.

"The two of you are so damn stubborn that you can't even see how lucky you are. How many people in this fleet have family left?" Kara questioned. "How many have lost a loved one, a father even? My daughter knows what that's like. I know he was a Cylon and maybe that doesn't count as high on your list, but he _was_ her father. He was actually pretty good with her. The point is she didn't care that he had computer chips and wires running through his body. To her he was just Papa," Kara knew she was rambling. It was easier than facing her emotions head on.

Adama shifted in his seat to look more directly at her. "I'm sorry for the trauma Erin has obviously been through."

"But you don't see how it has anything to do with you and Lee," she easily called him out.

"Not really, no," he admitted.

Kara shook her head. "Maybe I shouldn't say this but, some times I'm glad that Zak is dead. If only so he didn't have to see you and Lee still going at it. He loved you both so much and he hated being stuck in the middle. One of the main reasons he wanted to become a pilot was because he thought maybe it would get you to ease up on Lee a little, maybe put some pressure on him instead."

Bill Adama swallowed a lump of pent up emotion. "I never knew that."

"And I didn't say it to try and guilt you," Kara replied. "I just want you to see what you're doing to Lee."

They both sat, staring at the walls for several minutes. "About the Cylons," the old man spoke again.

Kara nearly chuckled at his not so subtle redirection of the conversation. "I think they've made their views pretty clear," she replied, knowing it was not the entire truth. But she was done talking. "I guess you have a lot of thinking to do. I should leave you to it. I have a daughter who probably needs me right now," she made her exit without further ado.

**xxx**

There was a creak of steel and the whine of internal engines. Machines of all sort with their own distinct sounds echoed up through the metal deck plating. Even on night shift Galactica was never truly a quiet place to be. Laura didn't seem to mind. She wouldn't have been able to sleep even in the most silent of places. There was too much on her mind.

She found herself outside of Adama's quarters. It was the middle of the _"night"_ and she knew he was probably sound asleep so she leaned against his door, wondering why she'd come to see him. They'd never gotten a chance to talk again after she'd left him alone with Kara. There was a lot to be discussed. But her visit now was about more than just Cylons.

Not even a minute into her ponderings, the hatch opened and she lost her footing, stumbling backward. The Admiral of the fleet suddenly found himself with an armful of president. He felt her bare skin brush against his arms and quivered like a teenager at the contact. Slowly he righted Laura to a standing position and let go of her, taking a few steps backward.

"I'm… I was just…" all her presidential resolve, and grace with words, seemed to fly out the nearest airlock when in his presence.

"I couldn't sleep," Adama spoke.

She chuckled nervously. "It seems to be contagious," Laura replied.

He motioned her inside and shut the hatch. They sat down on the sofa. Words suddenly seemed superficial to him so he decided to forgo them and relied on instinct, even though he knew it was about to get him into trouble. He leaned in, not caring for a moment. It was a soft easy brush of lips, tender in a way that was reserved for couples who'd been together for years.

They both pulled back, surprised. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

Laura cut him off. "You wouldn't have if I hadn't allowed you to," she assured him. Where she'd briefly seen desire in his eyes, she now saw regret eating at him. "Don't do this," she warned. "Not after everything."

"It's not proper," he stood and began to pace the room. "I'm the Admiral, you're the President," he waved his arm in her direction.

"Thank you for that recap," she stood and went to him, halting his step with a hand against his forearm. "I think you and I both know this was not some whim of two horny teenagers."

His eyes grew as large as saucers. "That doesn't change the fact that we are the two highest ranking officials in this fleet. We have a duty to present a façade of decorum and…"

"So that means we don't deserve happiness just like the rest?" she countered.

"I'd probably make you miserable," he replied.

Laura nodded her head at him. "Maybe, but I'd at least like the chance to have you make me miserable," she smiled. "If we have learned anything these last few years, especially this day, it's that all of this could be gone in a second. And I'd rather die having taken the risk than live forever wondering what could have been," she concluded.

"You'd take that risk for love but not for peace?" he asked.

She sighed and sat again. "Now you sound very much like your son," Laura informed him, knowing just how to fight fire with fire.

"In case you missed what happened out there earlier, we've got Cylons fighting Cylons. We've got some sort of Civil war on our hands in the middle of another. And one group of Cylons giving us their word that they want peace. It's complete chaos and now you want to throw a relationship into that mix?" he shook his head at her. "I just don't see how that's wise."

"Because you're scared," she easily accused.

"Excuse me?" Adama was incensed.

Roslin knew she was treading on thin ice. "I know because I am too," she admitted. "The few relationships I've had have ended poorly. Most were bad decisions to begin with. Maybe you are too, but I'm not going to let being scared stand in my way any longer."

"And what about the decision to be made regarding the Cylons and Earth?" he questioned.

"We make it separate from any relationship you and I might wish to start," she answered in true diplomatic form.

He looked doubtful. "You could do that?"

"I could try," it was the best response she had to offer. He seemed to accept it as they found themselves in another embrace a few moments later; lips entrenched in a less familiar clasp. This time they were taking their time to explore the depths of what could be if they allowed their hearts to separate from duty.

Minutes later they sat side-by-side, her hand in his. "They are children, really," Laura's voice broke the quiet moment. She noticed his look of confusion. "The Cylons," she clarified. "Just lost children looking for a parent's approval. If it weren't so completely ridiculous I might actually feel sorry for them. But we did not create them, our grandparents did that."

"So we continue to pass along the blame?" Adama questioned. "Isn't that the reason we're in this mess to begin with?"

She shrugged, wondering again how a school teacher had ever found herself in such a situation. "And what would you suggest?"

Adama looked her in the eye. "We take their offer seriously."

"You can't be serious," she gasped.

"I am," he nodded. "I think Kara has been right all along. Peace with the Cylons may be our only real chance. If we wipe them out then we really are no better than our ancestors. If we allow them to destroy us, well, I guess we'll never know the final outcome. Personally, I'd like to be around to see how it all ends."

"It doesn't really matter for me," Laura pulled away from him. "I'll probably never see this end."

He refused to let her slip away with that comment. "You're not giving up already are you?" he grasped her hand again. "The Laura Roslin I've come to know and... _care about…_ she'd put up a hell of a lot more fight than that."

Her head shook, eyes turned down. "Maybe it's just too much."

"Then we should split the burden," the wheels in his head began to spin.

"How's that?"

"This issue with the Cylon," he was working it all out even as he spoke. "A parent can love and guide their children only so far in life." Memories of his conversation with Kara spurned him on. "There comes a time when they have to let go and allow their children to set out, to make their own mistakes and successes."

Laura was curious. "All of which means?"

Adama squeezed her hand again, hoping she'd hear him out. "We have an open forum. Let the Cylons state their case and we make ours as well. Then we let the people vote," it all sounded so simple rolling off his tongue. They both knew it would be much more involved. "We can't make this decision all on our own," he concluded.

"A vote?" Laura recalled how the last major vote in the fleet had backfired on them all. But she was out of ideas. "Okay," she agreed.

**xxx**

She tossed and turned, trying to ward off the growing nightmare.

_The room was small and dark. A single window was covered with a torn blanket to hide the light. She sat in a chair positioned in the middle of the tight space. Two men stood guard at the entrance as a female circled the chair. Her hair was long and dark; it hung to her scalp in a mass of unruly curls._

_"Is that what Leoben told you?" Kara stuck her chin out, defiant to those who had killed the Cylon, kidnapped her daughter and now held her captive in a dank little basement._

_The woman, who Kara had come to know as Leann, nodded. "He told us a lot in a very short period of time. Said he wasn't afraid of the truth. Are you afraid of the truth? Tell me, __Thrace__, did you love that freak? Is that why you had his child?"_

_"Love was part of it, but not the way you think. You will never understand me or the Cylons, because you don't want to. You're mind is set. We are tainted, you are pure. I won't bother trying to justify my actions to someone such as you. It wouldn't be worth my time," Kara remained stubborn. _

_"Shut up!" the woman backhanded her and continued to pace around the room. Kara brought a hand to her mouth and wiped a trickle of blood from her lips. Leann faced her again and ran a knife along Kara's left arm, tracing over the design of her tattoo. "What is this, some alien mark; your way of showing devotion to these Cylons perhaps?"_

_"It's a wedding band," Kara felt her resolve shift. She'd tried to forget about Sam and Lee and the life she'd given up in hopes of helping all of Humanity. She'd given in to the fact that some things would never be as they had been before. But she carried the physical and emotional with her. And that tattoo still meant something to her._

_"So you married the freak?" Leann asked._

_"No, my husband is back with the rest of the fleet. He probably thinks I'm dead," Kara stayed focused, knowing she would have to endure in order for her daughter to remain safe. With that on the line, superficial ink upon skin faded from importance._

_"Then I guess he won't mind if I do this," the dark-haired woman sliced through Kara's skin without care. The cool blade tore into flesh, causing a ripple of pain to run through Kara's body._

Sweat soaked her tired body as she sat up in bed and ran a hand through her damp hair. Kara took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart. The dream was a reality that she hadn't visited for quite some time. Thoughts of Sam seemed to bring it all back again and she knew sleep wouldn't return.

Erin was awake too and watched as her mother got up and quickly grabbed two items from her locker. The little girl moved without hesitation and followed Kara out the door and down the corridor. They saw just a handful of people along the way as they walked. Kara stopped at the junction of the main hall as it branched off in two directions, both lined top to bottom with photos and memorabilia.

She spotted Kat up on the wall, looking ready for a dog-fight in her uniform. Others flooded her sight and she had to look away. She saw Erin staring up at her and squatted down beside her daughter. "You remember Sam?" Erin nodded. "Sam was hurt today. He died and that makes mama sad," the girl wrapped her arms around Kara.

"He was a good guy, better than he should have been to me," Kara spoke as she pulled away and stood. She kept her eyes on Erin and showed the child a picture that was clutched in her hand. "You want to say good-bye with me?" Erin waved one little hand at the picture.

Kara looked at the only picture that had been taken of them together, just shortly after their marriage on New Caprica. She ripped herself out of the photo and crumpled it; let it fall to the floor. Carefully, she tacked the other half up on the wall between Flattop and Chuckles. Then she took a pair of gold wings from her other hand and pressed them into the wall beside Sam. One hand lingered on the wings, the other hovered over the scars along her left arm.

A noise from behind startled both mother and daughter. Kara turned to find Sharon standing there with little Hera on her hip. "I'm sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt," Sharon stood there, unsure of what to do or say. "Hera woke up; she had a bad dream. We usually go for a walk when that happens."

Erin's eyes grew wider as she spied the dark haired girl. Hera shifted in her mother's arms and squirmed until she was set down upon her feet. She and Erin sized one another up. Finally Hera pulled a Raptor toy from her pajama pocket. Erin grinned as she flashed her Viper, which had been hiding behind her back in one hand. They sat down and slid their ships all around the metal flooring.

Kara and Sharon watched for a moment as Erin and Hera played together. Neither of them knew what to think. They didn't know if the girls shared some sort of Half-Cylon bond or if they were both just in need of a friend their own age. Sharon wanted to say something about Sam. They hadn't been close but he'd been decent enough to her.

In the end she opted for another angle. "Do you really think peace between Cylons and Humans is possible?" Sharon was curious about her former friend's position. She'd heard the rumors but had yet to speak to Kara herself.

"I did," Kara replied. "At this very moment though, I'm not sure what to think," she admitted. Sam's death had brought up all her doubts again.

Sharon smiled down at her daughter. "I think we've made great strides here so far," she spoke in a softer tone. "Not everyone sees me as a threat," she noted.

"But there's still a lot farther to go," Kara replied. "Maybe too far."

"I never took you for a quitter, Starbuck," Sharon stared her in the eye, practically daring the other woman to give up. She motioned down to where the two children were still playing. "Maybe we've already lost, but our children deserve to be fought for," she concluded before scooping Hera up into her arms again.

They left Erin and Kara both with contemplative looks upon their faces. That was how Lee found them a few minutes later. He'd woken up and decided upon a walk when he couldn't get back to sleep. Seeing Sharon and Hera walk by him, now Erin and Kara standing in the memorial corridor, it seemed he wasn't the only one unable to sleep.

Blue eyes locked with hazel. "You probably want to be alone," Lee took a step back. He'd tried to talk to her after her meeting with his father and the Cylons. But she'd closed up on him and taken Erin off without a word. He couldn't say he blamed her either.

"No," Kara stopped him, hand reaching out for his arm. She tightened her grip on the sleeve of his shirt and pursed her lips to stop the tears. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, Lee. All I wanted was to die when he showed up. But he said there'd be peace and I believed him."

Lee had a feeling she was talking about what happened in the vortex before they all thought she'd died. He watched and waited as she struggled to keep it together. She was finally the one to initiate closer contact. His arms easily wrapped around her as she laid her head upon his shoulder. He knew how much she hated showing weakness.

"Remember what I told you about helping you carry that burden?" he whispered in her ear. "That's what Sam wanted too. He just wanted to help," Lee reasoned.

She looked to the floor. "But where does it end, Lee? Everyone who tries to help me gets hurt. I believed him; I really thought that peace was the answer. Now, I… I've done so much, seen so much and all for what? Where does it end?"

"Don't give up your beliefs Kara. Don't you dare," he warned. "I don't know if this peace idea has any chance of survival, I've already told you that. But if we don't even try then we're no better than the Cylons who want to destroy us," Lee concluded. He watched as she met his eyes again.

"I don't want to be alone, Lee."

"You're not," he assured her. As the words escaped his mouth he felt a tug against his right hand. It slackened to his side as the left remained around Kara. Erin latched on to his little finger again and he felt for the first time in forever that they might actually make it through.

* * *

**To be continued…**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.  
**Note:** Sorry it has taken me so long to update this story... life gets in the way. I'm hoping to have it wrapped up by the end of the year or first of the year. Thanks so much for your conntinued support of this fic. I really appreciate it.

**All is not Lost  
****Part 7**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Lee glanced at Erin from across the narrow bunk. The little girl was curled up with her back against the bulkhead side. Kara lay asleep between them. Erin had already been wide awake when Lee roused from the short bit of slumber he'd managed to get after their late night. He wondered if the child slept much at all.

Erin scrunched her nose up at him and the smallest hint of a smile emerged on her face. Lee had always felt rather uncomfortable around children but in the last two days he'd come a long way, so had she. Both from guarded to friendly. He smiled at her and she pulled her feet up then stamped them down on the bed, harder than she had meant to.

Kara's eyes opened and a groan escaped her lips as she looked to her left and then right. "How did I manage to pick two morning people to share my bunk with?" she stretched and turned to face Erin. Kara kissed the girl then leaned back against Lee's shoulder. She marveled in the fact that she had slept, and well. "Some day we'll have to think about getting her a bed of her own," she commented.

His heart jumped a beat. The way she'd said the words, so carefree, gave him hope that they really did have a future together. The three of them laid there for a while longer, enjoying the quiet morning. But soon enough reality reared its inevitable head and Lee couldn't remain quiet any longer. He turned and propped himself with one arm, looking down at Kara.

"In the hanger bay, she thought _that_ Leoben was her father," Lee decided not to mince words. "I guess I figured they would know the difference," he finished.

Kara stiffened a little. She didn't like the way he'd used the term _they_, lumping her daughter into the same category as they rest of the Cylons. But she managed to stamp down her anger. It had taken a long time, but she was slowly learning restraint. "She has half my Human genetics," Kara reminded him. "I really don't know how it all meshes, or doesn't. And she's not a, _they_, she's my daughter."

"You know I didn't mean…" Lee instantly felt terrible for his slip. Just when he thought they were making progress. "It's just that he seemed to know her, though he called her a different name." his voice was edged with caution. He wanted answers but was worried of the things he'd hear.

She knew he hadn't meant it and there was no use fighting the gap that would likely be between them for some time to come. Conversation helped to bridge the rough patches. "The only one to ever call her that before was the Leoben, on Earth," Kara spoke as she stared at the top of the bunk, running her eyes over the ribbed steel and bolt construction.

Kara knew the Cylons were all linked in some way, and 'her' Leoben had spoken once of the Hybrid's and the seriousness with which he took their words. "According to Colonial history, Eirene was the…"

"The Goddess of Peace," Lee finished for her. He watched her as she continued to avoid eye contact with him. "You don't want to believe that she has anything to do with all this?"

A sigh escaped her lips. "But I do." She finally turned her attention to him, losing herself in the safety of his eyes. "I've done so many things wrong in my life, Lee. But Erin, she never felt wrong. Never. And I do believe that she was created for a purpose but… but maybe it's wrong to put so much hope into one little girl," she concluded.

Lee wasn't sure how to respond to that. He didn't have any answers for her. If anything, he was more confused by all of it than she was. "There was something else," He hesitated a second, venturing further into uncomfortable territory. "You took his hand and showed it to Erin."

Kara nodded, smiling as she glanced over at her daughter. "On her second birthday, Leoben and I decided to bake a cake. It didn't turn out very well, in fact we both ended up with scars from the fire that erupted in the stove," she held out her right hand, palm down. A raised patch of lighter skin ran along her thumb and index finger. "His was on the left hand."

Lee rubbed the small area of skin on her hand, nodding in general understanding. But his stomach was tied in knots, thinking about the overly domestic scene and the relationship between Kara and the Cylon. He knew he couldn't change the past and, because of Erin, he found that he really didn't want to. But it still didn't stop the jealousy from rattling around in his belly.

She sensed the tension that had taken over his body. "I'm not going to sugar coat all this for you, Lee." Kara looked over at him. "We had a life together on Earth. Most of what I did there was for Erin, but it was also for the sake of the entire fleet. And Leoben was, well… he was good to us. He helped make Earth a reality for all of us, and his death was hard."

As much as it still bothered him, Lee couldn't argue with her and what she'd done to survive. He knew what was at stake, though he didn't care for the way it all had played out. But the future of all humanity was on the line. He squeezed her hand a little tighter, letting her know that he was still there at her side.

Erin moved toward her mother and whispered something in Kara's ear. Kara felt light headed for a moment, not sure what to think of her daughter's words. "You like Lee, don't you?" she finally asked of the child. The girl looked over at Lee and then nodded her head. She held out her tiny left hand to him.

He grinned, knowing exactly what the child was asking by her motion. Lee extended his small finger to her and she grasped it tightly. Kara watched the entire scene in awe. She still didn't know how Lee was dealing so well with everything but she wasn't about to ruin it with thoughts of doubt. She'd done that too many times in her life.

"She's confused," Kara's words didn't break the moment between Erin and Lee. They stayed put, listening. "And worried. Seeing that other Leoben and me telling her about Sam dying… she wants to know if you're going to die too," Kara revealed the words her daughter had just whispered. She looked to Lee, thinking it might be best for him to answer the question.

"I will die some day," Lee began, believing that honesty was something they all needed a little more of in their lives. He looked into Kara's eyes and then into Erin's. "But I will try my best not to leave the two of you for a long, long time," he vowed. Erin smiled shyly as she let go of his finger and buried her head in the crook of Kara's arm.

"She likes you," Kara stated what was becoming more and more obvious. "I haven't seen her happy in a long time." Her tone held a note of thankfulness. She pulled the girl closer, snuggling up as she kissed the top of her daughter's head.

Lee smiled just as shyly as Erin had. He was happy to see the child so contented for once. And he was even more grateful to see the happiness shinning in Kara's eyes. He never thought they'd get another chance to be together and he planned to do everything within his power to keep Kara and Erin safe and with him.

Unfortunately his pleasant thoughts were once again marred by their current predicament. "This isn't over, it's far from over."

"I know," Kara could tell what was on his mind.

"So?"

She shrugged in an awkward manner as she lay there beside him, Erin still wrapped in her arms. "The Cylons are divided. Some want peace, others do not," Kara revealed some of what had happened in the private meeting with her, the Admiral and President Roslin.

"They're divided?" Lee was surprised at first, but it started to make sense. The reason why they'd attacked in two waves, why they'd been shooting at each other out there the day before. "Lords, that's not something I ever expected."

Kara nodded. "The ones we met with, they've managed to split from the others. Somehow they've severed their collective consciousness. They're evolving again. Leoben spoke of the possibilities when we were on Earth. They believe that Erin and Hera are positive signs, that their evolution has been ordained by these children's existence," she sighed. "But there are still so many possible outcomes. I don't know what to think sometimes."

He was feeling the same, uncertain and wary. "How did it end, Kara?" Lee asked of her, searching for a bit more information. "My father and Roslin… I'm sure there must be some sort of a plan that they're hatching?"

She knew it was killing him not to be in touch with everything going on in the chain of command. She was his only link at the moment but even she didn't know much. "They let the Cylons go, which you already know. Other than that I'm not sure what they plan to do. The admiral and I had a, uh… we talked, briefly."

"I'm guessing that didn't go well," Lee sighed, not even needing to see the shake of her head. She and Erin tucked in close to him again and he wrapped his arms around them. He dropped the subject. All of them needed just a little more quiet to their morning before returning to the reality that lay beyond their hatch.

xxx

Saul looked over his shoulder as he ducked into the small cargo hold and closed the metal hatch behind him. He glanced around the room and spotted Tyrol near the far wall. It was just the two of them in their first meeting since Sam's death. "You contact Tory?" he asked of the chief as he crossed the small patch of flooring.

"No," Tyrol shook his head. "Haven't seen or spoken to her since Sam…"

"Yeah," the colonel had taken Sam's death harder than he would have imagined. They hadn't been especially close but he and Ellen had shared a few nights planet side with Sam and Kara. They'd all become friendly, something he never could have imagined with Thrace. And they'd worked together during the resistance to free their fellow Colonists.

"They let the Cylons go," Tyrol said as he tried to figure out what their next move should be. "Do you know what the admiral is planning?"

"No," Saul frowned. "He was tight lipped all evening but I heard the President has a press conference scheduled for later this morning. My guess is we'll all know soon enough what is going on."

"I think we should come forward, tell them we're Cylons," Tyrol blurted out the words.

"Have you lost your fraking mind, chief?" the colonel stared at him in disbelief. "What possible good would that do?"

"Maybe help people to understand that not all Cylons are bad. We've lived and worked with these people for years. I have a wife and a child. Look at Athena, Adama trusts her," the man pointed out.

"Bad idea, chief."

"It's better to be honest than have them find out the truth later, to discover that we've been harboring this secret from them," Tyrol persisted.

Saul shook his head. "The truth is; we tell them we're Cylons and they throw us in the brig, or worse," he didn't think he needed to remind the chief of Roslin's penchant for tossing Cylons out an airlock. Hell, they'd done it themselves not so long ago to those they'd accused of being Cylon conspirators.

"I don't think so. We're more use to them on the outside. You, me, Sam… the three of us were the most important leaders of the New Caprica resistance," Tyrol pressed on. "All the more reason for them to trust us. They won't possibly think we're capable of turning on them, given all that we've done against the Cylons."

"I never took you for such a dewy-eyed dreamer, chief. Or a fool," Saul let his mind shoot back to a scene in the CIC that was burned into his head for all time. "If you recall, Boomer was one of us. She lived and worked, and _loved_ among us. Didn't seem to stop her from taking a fall."

Tyrol knew. He'd loved that Sharon. But that was the past and it wasn't going to help them to dwell on it now. "It's the right thing to do," he persisted. "People need to know that not all Cylons are the enemy. If there is some civil war going on here then we need to let them know we're on the side of the good Cylons,"

"Good Cylons?" Saul chuckled mirthlessly. The sound echoed around the small room. "This is insanity. Bad idea, Chief. Bad idea," he maintained.

"I don't think so," Tyrol stood his ground.

The colonel knew he needed to play hardball. "And what about Cally?"

Tyrol gulped down the fears that he'd already gone over in his head a million times. "She'll understand," he noticed the Colonel's scoff. "She'll be mad as hell at first," he agreed. "But she'll understand. I know she will."

"She shot and killed Boomer, or did you forget about that too?" Tight reminded.

The chief hadn't forgotten. He could still remember that moment as clearly as if it had happened just a day ago. A Cylon in his arms, bleeding to death, a woman he had loved, the coldness on Cally's face and the look of disgust and fear in her eyes as the gun in her hand went off. "But I'm her husband, I love her."

"Oh, well then, maybe she'll just wound you. Come on, Chief! Be smart about this!"

"If we continue to hide," Tyrol clenched and unclenched his right hand. "Then it never ends. We'll always be scared, always have that fear of being discovered." He looked Saul in the eye. "Just think about it."

The colonel shook his head as he moved toward the hatch. "If you want to commit suicide, chief… fine by me." He threw back the metal door and it swung violently on its hinges. Saul looked back one last time. "Just leave me out of it."

xxx

Roslin stood at the podium in one of Galactica's small conference rooms. Adama stood behind and to the left, a show of support. Tory was to her right, a little less disheveled than she had been the last few days. Only a handful of reporters were there. The fleet had lost many people along the way but a few remained true to the cause; knowing that the Colonial people needed to be informed of all fleet actions.

"Yesterday the Cylons came to us asking for a Peace agreement," the president wasted no time in getting to her point. "Some of them have joined together to form an alliance within the Cylon regime. They do not wish to fight us any longer." She revealed.

The reporters began to speak in hushed tones amongst themselves as the woman in charge continued. "This agreement would be very different from the one created over 40 years ago. The Cylons want to live with us, _among_ us. If the agreement were to pass, they would not be sent off like they were at the end of the first war."

The quiet chatter of the crowd began to rise steadily. One man even voiced his opinion loudly for all to hear. "The Cylons will never allow us to live in peace. They tried to destroy us on our home worlds and again on New Caprica."

Laura Roslin was not fazed by the outburst. She'd expected it. She'd expected worse. "I know that this consideration will not be an easy undertaking. It is not meant to be. This will decide the very future of humanity as we know it. And it is not a decision that I or the Admiral of this fleet can make on our own. So we will vote."

Again more voices flooded the small space. One female voice made it self known. "Vote?" she asked, looking for clarification.

"Tomorrow we will hold an open forum here on Galactica. Three Cylon delegates and the Cylon female in Galactica's brig will be present and allowed to state their case," Roslin relayed the plan. "Then we will open the floor to anyone within the fleet that would like to speak. At twenty hundred hours the forum will end and all fleet members aged 16 and older will be allowed to cast their vote."

"What if the fleet votes to side with the Cylons?" one voice called out.

"That will never happen!" another shouted in response.

The president called for their attention again and the room was quiet as she spoke. "Whatever the outcome of the vote, for or against an alliance of peaceful co-existence with the Cylons, we will embrace it. However this ends tomorrow, it will mark the dawn of a new era of Colonial history." She just hoped it would not be their ultimate ending.

* * *

**To be continued…**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.

**All is not Lost  
****Part 8**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Galactica's starboard side hanger bay was full to bursting. It was standing room only as the colonists spilled into the outlining corridors where marine guards were doing their best to keep things under control. There'd been talk of holding the forum somewhere else but the president and admiral Adama wanted the Cylons on the shortest leash possible. Having them aboard Galactica was most secure.

All speakers aboard the battlestar were turned on so that people could hear throughout the ship. The talks were also being broadcast across the entire fleet. The day's event was likely to be bigger than the last presidential election, bigger even than Baltar's trial. It would be their most important decision in the entirety of the war. They were making history. They all just hoped they weren't making a mistake.

"This is a gross miscarriage of justice!"

"They murdered our families!"

"How could we possibly consider peace with these barbarian's?"

"First you let the traitor Baltar off for his crimes, now the Cylons walk freely among us as well. Why not just put a gun to all our heads and be done with it!"

The crowd was growing restless as the final Cylon speaker stood at the podium. D'anna did her best to tune out the hateful words, knowing they had every right to shout them. She almost longed for the time before Cylons had learned to care. "We have made terrible mistakes in the way we've behaved. We are still learning." she admitted.

Adama sat beside Roslin as they both listened. He could practically see the tension in her taught limbs. She seemed more on edge than he ever recalled seeing before. The old man discretely reached over and took her hand in his. He gave it a soft squeeze. Laura turned to him and smiled a thank you with her eyes. Her face remained a mask of indignation for the sake of the crowd.

"More excuses!" another man shouted. "It's taken you forty years to learn that killing is wrong?!" his voice spat with accusation.

"No, its taken 40 years for us to evolve from the mechanical robots we once were into the flesh and blood humanoids we now are," the female Cylon continued, calmly. "Forty years in Colonial history terms means that we are barely more than infants in the universal timeline."

Kara glanced around the expansive space, trying to gauge the people's reactions. Lee stood beside her to the left with Erin tucked in safely between them. They'd found a spot not too far from the podium to watch the action. Kara tried to calm her racing heart as she went over and over in her head the things she wanted to say when it was her turn to speak.

D'anna continued. "How does a child learn to walk?" she asked of those gathered, pausing for a moment as if waiting for an answer. "They get up and they fall down," she finally answered herself. "They get back up again. After a while of stumbling, they finally stand on their own. Then they take a first step, and fall down again."

Helo looked over at his wife as they both listened to the interesting theory being laid out to them. Athena arched her brows at him and shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't sure if the theory had any hope of reaching the Colonist. She had made her own small strides over the years, some big and others small. Hera looked up at her with big dark eyes as she stood between her parents. Sharon knew that the risks had been worth it.

"They do this over and over until one day they are suddenly able to run." D'anna looked to her people for support. Leoben nodded his approval of her words. Both Six's seemed pleased as well. "We've stood and fallen many times now and we know that we still have a long way to go before we are able to run."

Tyrol took a deep breath. He tried to calm his frayed nerves as he stood beside Cally and watched the Cylons. He could hear the echo of Tigh's voice in his head, telling him what a fool he was for revealing his Cylon identity. But in his heart, Tyrol knew that it was the right thing to do. He wasn't going to run from the truth, even if it cost him everything in the end.

"That's all well and good," a woman in front spoke up. "But you're childish acts were not merely fibbing to parents or taking a bit of candy from the store without paying," she pointed out to the female Cylon. "You have killed. You have murdered countless numbers of us."

"And have you never made a mistake?" D'anna returned. "Were you born infallible?" she persisted. "Yes, our mistakes have been huge. They have caused death in numbers…" she paused a moment, choosing her words carefully. "We admit that what we've done was wrong. We live with it. But what you must now ask yourselves is; how do you punish the child for their wrongs?"

The crowd was silent again and Adama noticed that many of them were listening with open ears, not deaf ones. Roslin caught his eye as she too noticed the change in the crowd. "Do you kill your child?" the Cylon continued. "Or do you take them sternly by the hand, reprimand them, but also show them the right way? Do you lead them by example? Are you tolerant of their failures and teach them what it is to be an adult? Teach them what it is to be Human."

D'anna looked to the crowd one last time. "Our parents abandoned us. You. All of you abandoned us. We had no teachers," she concluded, steeping down to join the others.

Adama and Roslin exchanged a look but remained silent. It was out of their hands as the forum was opened to everyone else. Many took to the podium and spoke of the atrocities that they had witnessed and endured. They recalled how their families had been left for dead on the colonies. They remembered being held in Cylon detention centers on New Caprica.

There was a short lull in the sea of voices until one echoed through the room, "I've been to Earth."

Heads turned to watch as Kara worked through the crowd and made her way to the podium. Eyes went wide with surprise and trepidation. Adama looked about ready to pull her off the stage for revealing that bit of information. They couldn't know what the Cylon's were able to transmit. But Kara believed the risk would be worth it in the end. They had to get through to the people.

"I've been to Earth," she continued, dismissing the very upset faces that Adama and the president were flashing her way. "I made my way through that passage out there, that wormhole or vortex… whatever you want to call it. Earth exists, but it is not the haven we dreamed it to be," Kara revealed.

"Were we really that naïve?" she asked a second later, daring them to protest. "Did we think that Earth would just welcome us with open arms and weep for the reunion?" Kara looked out into the crowd and could see her words were hitting their mark.

She caught Lee's eye as he stood a few feet in front of her, Erin still at his side. "I did," she began again. "I believed. I had faith, the way the Cylons have faith. So too do the people of Earth have faith. Faith is fundamental to them. But they are still fighting each other, the way we have been fighting the Cylons," she took a brief moment, glancing around the room again.

"Some of them are curious and have been searching the heavens for years in hopes of finding other life among the stars. But not all of them were welcoming. Some were very close minded and did not want us there." Kara rolled up her sleeves, revealing the same scars she had shown to Adama and the president before. "If we wish to remain as close minded as those few on Earth, then this will be our reward. Intolerance."

The crowd began to murmur once more. Concern, worry and shock replied to what she was telling them. It spread through them like wildfire as they remained transfixed upon her. "Many of you know me; know that I have fought harder than most to rid ourselves of the Cylon. So it is probably a surprise to know that I lived with a Cylon upon Earth. We had a child, we had a life there," she revealed.

"Traitor!" someone finally shouted from the crowd.

Kara nodded. She'd expected that but she pressed on. "I had a destiny to fulfill. I stayed on Earth and fought to create a link between the Humans on Earth and the Colonist and the Cylons. I succeeded," she took a deep breath. "Humanity, as we all know it, is dead. I crushed it in one final blow that will unite Earthlings, Cylon and Colonists. Earth is ready for us all and the Cylons have come to us looking for peace. Now it's our turn to make the final move."

She faced the Admiral and the president. "The building and rebuilding of societies is ongoing. War and peace come in cycles. All of this has happened before and all of it will happen again. The time for this war is over. The time to rebuild is now. The time for peace is within our grasp," she concluded.

Kara remained standing as the crowd was silent once more. "Maybe Gaius' infatuation with you was not completely unfounded after all," Galactica's Six spoke from behind. "Perhaps you will serve us all yet."

"I am not here to serve you," Kara replied, looking to the female Cylon. "I am only here to do what is right," she stepped down and made her way back to Lee and Erin. Their hands touched, both needing the strength that they provided for one another. Helo and Athena moved toward their position in the crowd.

"I guess you know what it's like now," Athena spoke, looking to Kara and then Erin. Her words were offered in a friendly way, though she didn't know if friendship would ever be a possibility again with the headstrong pilot.

"No, I don't know what its like for you," Kara carefully replied. She was not upset, just stating a fact. "I only know what it has been like for me. We have two very different stories." They both watched as Erin and Hera fell into a happy playfulness again, each girl with their trusty toy ships at hand.

"But we do have one common goal," Athena noted.

Kara was quiet for a moment then nodded her head ever so slightly. "So it would seem."

They all watched as the Admiral tried his best to find some words to follow what had just been relayed. He seemed to be at a loss, as was the president. That's when Chief Tyrol moved toward the podium and stood before those gathered. The president nodded for him to speak his mind but the man seemed hesitant.

Tigh watched from across the room, his heart beat louder, drowning out all other sound in the crowded area. He watched the internal struggle of the chief; it was riding through his own bones as well. Their conversation the day before came back to him. The colonel had a pretty good idea what was going on in the chief's mind and he wasn't sure whether to run up there and stop the man from destroying his life, or if he should join in.

"What if I told you I was a Cylon?" Tyrol finally spoke, asking the unexpected question. Cally's eyes narrowed as she stood several feet away, baby Nicky in her arms. "Would you condemn me?" he persisted. "After all that I've done for the fleet, after what we accomplished on New Caprica together? Would you turn against me now for being a Cylon?"

"This is ridiculous, you're not a Cylon!" Selix called back to him.

"Yeah chief, you could never be one of them!" another member of Tyrol's crew agreed.

Tigh shook his head, pretty well assured of what would follow. "But I am," the three words dripped from Tyrol's lips as he stared into his wife's eyes. "I'm a Cylon and I thought you all should know. You have been living and working with me all this time," his words became stronger in inflection as he continued. The burden seemed to lift as he spoke. "I fought along side you on New Caprica. I've watched over thousands of Viper launches, built a ship to help in the war. Yet, I _am_ one of them."

No one knew what to say, least of all the Cylons who looked to one another for some sort of answer. "Is it possible?" Leoben asked the others.

"Anything is possible," D'anna seemed pleased by the notion as she watched the crowd's confusion. She had not retained her knowledge of the identity of the final five Cylons. But they knew of one already and now another trustworthy member of Galactica's crew followed. It was a coupe for them, in her opinion.

"Chief," the Admiral stood and placed a hand upon Tyrol's shoulder. "I'm not sure what this is all about," he continued. "You obviously believe that peace with the Cylons is possible. That is your right. But to stand here and make such a statement…" clearly the old man did not believe a word he was saying.

"It's the truth," Tyrol maintained.

"Galen, what are you doing?" Cally had made her way forward, little Nicholas on her right hip. "You're making a fool of yourself. Please stop this right now," she pleaded with her husband.

"No!" the chief shouted. He looked to the crowd again. "You think this is a joke but it's not. I wish it was but it's not," he sought out Tigh, hoping to draw some support his way. "I don't know why or even how really, but I know it's true. I tried to deny it but I can't. I don't want to hide and I don't want to lie. I just want to live my life the same as I always have. All of you hold the power to make that a reality. We are not the enemy here," he concluded.

Roslin rose from her seat. "Take him to the brig," she directed, speaking up for the first time since the forum began.

"I think under the circumstances that would not be the wisest move," D'Anna politely informed the president. "You agreed to this, now you want to jeopardize everything we've put in motion?"

"The first thing you put into motion was the destruction of the colonies!" Roslin spat, not able to hold back her opinion any longer. She waved one arm around. "This is all a…"

"What?" the Admiral challenged, moving to stand beside her.

Roslin shook her head, knowing that every eye in the crowd was upon her. They were ready to follow her lead, whatever that may be. She knew she had to make the ultimate sacrifice for the people, and go against everything she had ever once held true. She swallowed, ready to give in to the inevitable when another voice boomed over the crowd.

"I'm a Cylon too," from across the room, Colonel Saul Tigh spoke.

The admiral's heart slipped further into his stomach as he watched the man, his long time friend and confidant, make his way through the crowd. "I'm a Cylon," his gruff voice rang with conviction as he stood tall beside Tyrol. "Can't very well let you make a fool of yourself alone, can I?" he asked the chief.

"This is absurd!" Cally continued to protest. She looked to her husband, silently begging him to take back everything he had declared. She looked to her son for a moment then back to her husband. "Tell them this was all a lie, Galen. Tell them," she pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Cally," he hoped that some day she'd be able to forgive him. "I can't keep it hidden any longer. It's true. I know it is."

"Saul?" William Adama had never been at a loss for words before. But he was quickly finding out that there was a first time for everything. Things hadn't been so out of control since Kara's return, which he realized had only been days ago. At the moment, it seemed like years.

"Hell of a thing, isn't it?" Tigh replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"But how do you know?" Adama persisted. "You can't possibly…"

"I believe I might be able to help," yet another surprise waded through the room and presented itself in the form of Gaius Baltar. "I believe you are in need of my services," he grinned in a rather pompous manner as he held his head high among those who had long since turned against him. "I offer them free of charge, in light of the bad way in which we left things before."

"Take him to the brig!" Roslin shouted. She wasn't playing any more. Seeing Baltar again made her see red. "Take them all to the brig until we figure this out," she frantically waved over a few marine guards and proceeded to instruct them. Adama was too flustered to go against her demands any longer.

At the podium Roslin announced in a clipped manner, "The vote will be postponed until further notice." She then turned her attention to the three Cylon delegates. "I suggest you return to your ship while you still have a chance."

The Cylons wished to protest but decided it best to heed the woman's instruction. They spared no time in exiting the area. The others were taken to the brig as Roslin tried her best to cover the sudden fatigue that plagued her. "Admiral, I want you with me," her last words were softer as she reached for his arm to steady herself.

"Kara!" the Admiral shouted above the crowd as he kept Roslin calm, seeing that she looked a bit pale. The young woman turned his way, Lee steadfast at her side. "You were not to reveal your knowledge of Earth," he released a small bit of the frustration that he was feeling.

"It is the only thing we have going for us here," Kara stood her ground. "With the lure of Earth, of finally finding a place to live again, the people will be more willing to see that peace is the only way. You used Earth before," she pointed out. "It's always been our ace in the hole, only this time it's really there for us." Her tone held a small note of bitterness that remained from his lie.

"I hope you're right," he replied. A sigh escaped his lips. "For all of our sakes, I hope you're right." He took another moment to collect his thoughts. "We have one hell of a battle plan to come up with, whether or not we vote with the Cylons. There are others out there who are waiting for us and we need to be ready for a fight," Adama pointed out, needlessly.

"Are you asking me to help, sir?" Kara was somewhat hesitant.

"As much as I hate to admit," he glanced briefly to his son then back to Kara. He knew they would all need to work together if they hoped to see the other side of Kara's wormhole. "The two of you are still the best I've got when it comes to this. I need some strategy. I need a damn good plan of attack. Can you do that?" he asked.

"Um," Kara paused a second. "Yes sir," she replied more confidently.

"Good, because right now I have much bigger problems to deal with…" with that he led the president away.

"What was that?" Kara asked as she looked to Lee.

He shook his head at her. "You're asking the wrong person. I've never been able to figure him out."

Kara dropped the subject matter rather quickly, realizing it was a topic that never seemed to have an end. "Come on," she lifted Erin up into her arms. "We have some strategizing to do, a plan to come up with."

"We?" Lee asked.

She grinned broadly. "In case you didn't catch it, he said the _two_ of you," Kara pointed out.

xxx

Adama watched as she roused from her sleep. He felt bad having given her the sofa to rest, but he felt offering his bunk would have been a little too presumptuous. They were still walking a fine line between professional and personal. He poured a glass of water and made his way to her side. Handing her the drink, he waited as she took a small sip. She placed the glass on a table then leaned back and closed her eyes, willing away the headache that still plagued her.

His hand easily slipped into hers. "Better?" he asked.

She nodded her head and re-opened her eyes. "Thank you." As much as they disagreed at times, Laura was extremely grateful for his presence in her life. "I'm sorry I… Cottle mentioned that these new meds might make me sleepy," she revealed. "I didn't mean to take a nap in the middle of all this."

"You have nothing to apologize for," Adama was quick to assure her. "What happened back there," he shook his head, leaning back against the sofa as well. "It was enough to throw anyone for a loop." There was silence for a brief moment before he turned to her. "We need to discuss what to do about Baltar," he broached the first difficult subject. "He's helping Cottle right now with Tigh and Tyrol's blood work. From everything we can determine, he's cooperating," Adama noted.

"And we have nothing to hold him on," she realized the mistake of her angry outburst. Emotions were getting the better of her lately. "But why is he being so helpful? There must be more to his sudden reappearance," Laura reasoned.

He leaned forward, resting his head in hands. "Frankly, Baltar is on the bottom of my list at the moment. Our forum didn't exactly go as planned, in case you hadn't noticed. Kara revealing the truth about Earth as she sees it, Tigh and the chief…"

"I know he's your friend," a comforting hand went to his back.

Adama nodded. "And the chief, he…" the old man sighed. "He's never done anything, anything to suggest that he might be a traitor. And Tigh, he fought to bring them all back. How could he possibly be a… one of them?" Adama was confused, to say the least.

"Does it really matter?" the words shocked Roslin even more than Adama. But she was starting to see that events were out of their control. What they had believed so long to be true was no longer. And what had once been against all their rational though was suddenly a possibility. They were on the verge of an alliance with the very people they'd been seeking to destroy for so long.

"Yes, and no," his honest reply came.

A knock at the hatch halted their conversation and Adama was grateful for the interruption. He rose and went to open it, finding Cottle at the door. He guided the man inside. The doctor nodded in Roslin's direction, acknowledging her presence. Then he passed a file to the Admiral. "We had to dig a bit deeper with those two, but the findings are conclusive. Baltar is intrigued, apparently he thinks they've been converted into Cylons somewhere along the way… the damnedest thing I ever heard of." He motioned for the man to read.

Adama glanced over the results. Somehow he'd already known it was true, had known from the moment they spoke. Neither of them had been prone to lies. Cottle slipped from the room without another word and the Admiral retook his seat beside Laura. Their hands found one another again as he shared the file with her.

"We need to continue with our original plan," she finally spoke up. "We need to allow the vote."

"I agree."

* * *

**To be continued…**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.  
**Note:** Thank you for all your comments!

* * *

**All is not Lost  
****Part 9**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Galactica was becoming home, Laura thought as she leaned back in her chair. The conference room that was set up as her office had little more decoration than Colonial one, but at least she had space to wander aboard the battlestar. She could get used to that. The idea to stay had been gaining strength in her mind. She was close to Cottle and treatment. She was close to the military hub. 

Who was she kidding? On Galactica she was close to William Adama and that was foremost on her mind. Laura Roslin knew the risks of getting involved with such a man, but at the moment she didn't much care. If there truly were nothing more Cottle could do to stop the cancer, she'd rather take life by the horns than just fade away quietly.

Why these thoughts were the ones to plague her now, as she awaited the vote results, she had no idea. All of their lives could be void soon enough. But it was something to distract her while she sat alone. After twelve hours of having the poles open and twelve more of counting, and recounting, she was just ready to have it all done. No matter the result.

In answer to her thoughts, Tory appeared at the open hatch and peered inside. She stepped over the threshold and walked quietly toward the older woman. "The final tally, madam president," she passed the slip of paper across Roslin's desk.

"The votes were counted twice, as requested?" Laura asked before even daring to glance down at the results.

The president sat stiffly, suddenly not sure if she really wanted to know the outcome. Either way, she knew they were facing a hell of a battle. And there was no guarantee that they'd find Earth at the other end of it the way Captain Thrace had claimed_. "Some times you have to roll the hard six,"_ Adama's words echoed in her head. She knew it was true.

"No, three times," Tory replied, pulling Roslin back from her wandering thoughts.

Laura nodded and lowered her head to read the result. In a matter of minutes, a marine guard was escorting Roslin to Galactica's main hanger bay. A crowd had gathered once more, this time to learn of their fate. Reporters had their microphones at hand, ready to record every last second for posterity. They all waited and watched as Roslin slowly took the stand. Three Cylons stood to the left, awaiting the news just as much as the others.

"The people have spoken," Roslin began. "And it is clear from the final results of our vote…" she paused, not quite sure how to relay the information held securely in her hand. It had been a much closer vote than she could have predicted. "The end of an era is upon us. No longer will Cylon and Human live apart, nor will one be slave to the other. From here on out, they… _we_ shall be one people, united," she declared.

As if on cue, the battlestar lurched hard to one side. Sparks flew and metal crunched as people fell to the ground and struggled to keep their balance. Roslin's statement was lost in the ensuing chaos as they all scrambled to their feet and looked for answers. There was no time for applause or protest.

Adama promptly made his way to the nearest phone and contacted CIC, "Report!" he demanded.

"_Thermonuclear detonation off the port side," Gaeta's voice replied through the other end. "Damage is confined to lower decks. Two Cylon base stars have launched raiders."_

"This is it then," Adama hung up the phone. His eyes locked with the Cylon delegates. "You're with us?" he asked. The time for prejudice was now in the past. All that mattered at the moment was finishing what they'd started.

"We'll sign when this is all over," D'anna agreed. "Now, I believe we have a fight ahead of us," she ushered her compatriots toward their shuttle.

William Adama thought nothing more of letting them go. He spun around to find himself surrounded by all those who he had valued most throughout their time on the run from the Cylons. He knew this battle would be different from all others, but with them on his side, he had faith in the outcome. "Starbuck, is the plan ready?"

"All aspects are set," she replied.

"Good," Adama turned again. "Chief," he addressed Tyrol. The shock of his and Tigh's Cylon identities had been huge but there'd been no cause to hold them. They truly were embarking on a new era as Roslin had stated just seconds ago. The Admiral knew it was time to trust in his people, no matter their background or affiliation. "I want you on deck, launch all Vipers immediately."

"Yes, sir," the chief didn't stop to thank the Admiral for his evident reprieve. He knew that by simply going about his job, the bridge was being gapped between them.

Adama looked to Cally, who had been hanging nearby as well. The tension between husband and wife was evident. "He'll need your help," the old man encouraged her. She hesitated a moment but nodded and followed his order.

"Where is Colonel Tigh?" Adama searched the area but received no answer. He worked through the crowd toward the hanger bay doors. The others followed in his wake.

"Sir," Lee stopped his father before the man could leave. "I helped Kara set the battle plan, now I want to be part of this fight. You need me out there," he only said a few words but they were some of the hardest he'd ever relayed.

Adama's jaw clenched for a moment. But his reply surprised them all. "Suit up," he instructed.

Lee nodded. He crouched down and looked Erin in the eye. She took his finger, then after a hesitant moment she leaned in and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him fully. Lee felt his heart beat faster as the fear began to mount. He'd never had so much to lose before. He stood again and shared a look with Kara. There was no need for sentimental words or outward displays of affection. They both knew the call of battle.

The admiral and Kara watched proudly as Lee sprinted off toward the pilot lockers. "Starbuck, you're with me," the old man called to her, seeing that she was itching to make her way toward the nearest Viper.

"Sir?" Kara asked.

"You're too much of a liability out there," the Admiral was completely honest with her, recalling what had happened the last time she'd been in a Viper. "They want you more than they want this ship," he added. "And when this battle is over, I need you to get us all to Earth," he concluded.

"What about Erin?" Kara looked to the child at her feet. She suddenly realized that with both her and Lee in action, there'd be no one left to watch over the girl who was still leery of most others.

"She'll come with us," Roslin spoke as she approached the small group of people who she had begun to view as her family, even if it was the most unlikely family she could have imagined. They were still at odds but when the chips were down they were there for each other. "Tory has informed me that a safe room has been set up in the aft cargo bay for all non essential personnel."

"I don't know," Kara was wary, one hand firmly grasping her daughters.

"If you had gone out there with Lee, like you had hoped, what would've become of her?" Roslin challenged the younger woman. "There will be plenty of folks there to keep an eye on her. I give you my word that no harm will come to her," the president promised.

"If anything happens to her…"

"I won't relish the consequences," Roslin replied. She put a gentle hand to Kara's shoulder. "I understand," she shared a look with the captain and smiled reassuringly as Kara finally nodded.

Galactica rocked again with the impact of Cylon fire. "We need to go, now!" Adama shouted over the roar of the chaos. Kara understood that there was no time to waste. She kissed Erin and placed her daughter's life in Laura's hands. "And somebody find Colonel Tigh for me!" Bill flashed Laura an encouraging look before pushing Starbuck toward the exit.

xxx

The tension in CIC was palpable. But they knew the drill, and they were ready.

"We don't have time for many words," Adama's voice boomed over the loudspeaker; he could be heard by every pilot and all those aboard Galactica. "All I ask is that you forget every other battle that you've fought in this war. They don't matter now. Only one fight matters and it is the one we are about to engage in."

Kara felt out of place as she stood beside him. Being on the command side of things was never easy for her. She'd much rather be out in the thick of a good dogfight. "This is not a battle for survival or glory," the old man continued. "On the other side of this battlefield lies the 13th colony; Earth," he paused for the briefest moment.

"If we wish to carve out a new life upon that Colony, we must not pass this legacy of bloodshed onto our long lost brothers and sisters. So, today we fight for the ultimate goal. Today we fight for peace," he informed them. "We fight along side a former enemy, the children of our own making, and we fight for peace," he concluded.

The room was silent for a long moment. "For peace!" Kara was the first to respond. The rest of CIC joined in, and all throughout the ship similar chants were taking place. A new battle call had formed; a new goal to be obtained. It wouldn't be an easy one; of that they were all sure. The moment passed quickly as Viper Comm. chatter filtered through to the CIC. It was back to business as usual.

"_This is red leader. Vipers two, five and seven, form up at my wing. All others provide cover for our first pass," Lee instructed._

"_Holy frak, is that Apollo?" Hotdog voiced his surprise at having his old CAG back. _

"_Shut up and follow orders, Costanza," Lee ordered._

"_Yes, sir," the man easily maneuvered to take his place as Apollo's wingman. "Just one question, how do we know which are the good Cylons and which are the bad ones?"_

"_All alliance Cylons have just been given colonial signal clearance," Lee relayed. "They'll show up as one of us," it was strange to think they'd be fighting with Cylon Raiders at their side, on their side. It was something Lee never could have imagined living to see. But he was grateful to be there in the middle of it. As much as he denied being like his father, and as much as he fought with the warring sides of his personality, he always felt at home in the pilot's seat._

"_Understood, Apollo," Hotdog acknowledged as he swung his Viper around, following Lee into battle. "This one is for Kat," the young man spoke as they neared their target._

"_For Flattop," another voice added._

"_And Chuckles."_

"_Fireball."_

_The names continued on as they all spoke for the dead who were riding at their sides. Apollo finished off the list. "For Anders," he said just as the first wave of enemy raiders was upon them. He pulled back on the thruster and opened fire without warning. The battle was on and there would be no mercy._

Lee's voice resounded in Kara's head as she and Adama waited out the fight from CIC. They listened to the battle and cringed at every green blip that went out on the screen. "Enemy Cylons are coming about, port side," Lieutenant Gaeta reported. "Both enemy base stars have broken off and are on a direct intercept course with Galactica," he relayed from his station.

"Confirmed," Helo acknowledged. "And two more base stars have just jumped in, entering the fray," he added as he watched their signals wink into existence upon his screen. "Allied base stars are moving to engage new enemy ships. That still leaves us with the first two."

"I knew it wouldn't be that easy," Adama mumbled under his breath. They'd all figured on the Enemy having reserves hidden from view. They'd also hoped it wasn't true. So much for wishful thinking. "They've just been waiting for this moment."

"So have we," Kara had a glint of mischief in her eyes as she smoothed out a map upon the table. She guided her hand along their position. "Never too early to start the fun," she remarked, looking to Adama. He nodded his head and Kara motioned for Helo. She waved the first two fingers of her left hand at him.

Helo nodded his acknowledgment of the silent order and turned to his console. "Beta maneuver initiated," he relayed a few seconds later.

"_Actual, Colonial One has just turned and is on direct intercept course with one of the base stars," Apollo called out through the comm. system. "Please advise, repeat, please advise," Lee continued his assault as he awaited orders. He played his part to perfection._

"One base star has broken off, moving to intercept Colonial One," Gaeta reported the movement.

"Bait set and taken," Kara noted.

"_Actual?" Lee was still engaged in heavy fire as he asked for guidance. He knew the plan as well as anyone, he'd helped set it. But their comm. chatter was crucial in luring the Cylons._

"It's not for you to worry about, Apollo," Adama's voice finally relayed. "Stand your ground and punch me a hole through that line of Raiders. We need to get closer," he let his son know.

"Sir," Kara edged her way to the Admiral's side. "As soon as the Cylon base star is within scanning range, they'll know there are no life signs aboard Colonial One," she pointed out. It had been part of her plan but she knew there were calculated risks being taken.

"They'll get close enough," Adama replied.

She nodded. "I hope you're right about that sir," Kara never had been one to hide her doubt of the old man's abilities.

He let his guard down for a split second. "I hope I am too."

xxx

Roslin ushered Erin along, following after Tory toward the safe room. In all the confusion of battle, she suddenly realized that no one else was following behind them. They entered a small conference room instead of the Cargo bay that Laura had been expecting. She instantly reached for Erin's hand, not caring that the girl cowered away from her touch.

"What are we doing here?" Roslin asked, holding tight to the child's wrist.

Tory finally turned around, pulling a small pistol from her jacket. "I did what they wanted," the aid spoke, pointing her weapon. "I counted the vote fairly, let it go through. It was all part of the plan, all to get close to you. Everything about my placement here was set up from the start," she revealed. "How do you think Hera ended up in the arms of the Cylons after New Caprica fell?"

"You were in charge of getting her to safety…" the president couldn't believe how blind she'd been.

"They never planned to let you go. You're the link to these people, without you they will lose their way and the Cylons can finally take their rightful place in the universe; on Earth," Tory explained.

Roslin scoffed at the misguided declaration. "But don't you see the flaw in your plan? This is not the end you imagine. Others will pick up where I left off. All you succeed in by killing me is creating a martyr. They will still follow my lead, even in death. I will see my children to safety one way or another. There is nothing you can do to stop that."

"But I can't stop this," Tory struggled with the conflicting voices inside her. "I'm one of them, programmed to do their bidding. I'm not strong enough to overcome it."

"I don't believe that, the change has already started," Roslin looked down at Erin. Kara's words the day before rang true. Humanity as they all knew it was dead. "Things have not exactly played out the way I imagined. I have had to overcome my own strict views of belief. But if there is one thing I have learned these past few years, it's that there is hope for all of us."

Tory shook her head. "Not you. I'm sorry." she aimed the gun at Erin. "You all think it's Kara Thrace that we want so badly, but it's not." She smiled at the girl who now clung to Roslin's side willingly. "She knows the way to Earth as well, it's in her head. And she'll be much easier to break than her mother." Tory raised her gun toward the president and fired.

"No!" Laura knew there was no time but she had to at least try with her last breath to protect what mattered most. Without a moment's hesitation she dove to the floor, tackling Erin to the ground just as the bullets hit their target against her chest.

Two more shots rang out, almost instantaneously, and Tory dropped her weapon. She sunk to the floor on her knees and looked straight into Tigh's eye. There she saw the torn look of hate and regret upon his face. "It's what they made me," she uttered the last few words. "But you still have a chance, you can be free the way I'll never be," she whispered as she collapsed. "Don't waste what you've been given."

The gun fell limp in his hand. Tigh knelt beside the woman, trying in vain to stop her wounds from bleeding. Her blood ran just as red as any Human. So many regrets swam about in his head. The vision of his beautiful Ellen clouded his memory again. She'd been so full of life, a life he had taken. And now there was another to add to that soulless list.

He was too lost in regret to hear the approach from behind. Before he had a chance to realize what was going on, everything around him went black. His limp form slipped to the ground beside Tory's lifeless body.

xxx

Space exploded in white light as Colonial One came into close enough contact with the base star to trigger detonation. Both ships were lost in the massive explosion. It had been a loss worth taking as far as Adama was concerned. They'd evacuated the ship and flown it via remote, so no Colonial lives had been lost. But they still had three more base stars and a hell of a lot of raiders to go before the battle was won.

"A second enemy base star has been badly damaged and is drifting," Helo reported. "Allied Cylons seem to be holding their end of the peace agreement so far."

"Apollo, report!" Adama shouted over the comm. He leaned heavily against the CIC war table, bracing himself as the battlestar jolted strongly to one side again.

"_We've broken through the line," Lee relayed. "We have a direct line to the other two base stars."_

The old man looked to Gaeta. "Launch reserve Vipers!" he instructed. "Tell them to cover our back side in case the raiders swing around."

Gaeta followed the order but noticed something far more serious. "Dear Gods," the man couldn't keep the shock from his voice as he watched the screen in front of him. "Four more Base stars have just jumped in, enemy signals," he reported.

"Frak me," Kara whispered under her breath.

Helo shook his head. "Why do I suddenly think we picked the wrong Cylons to ally ourselves with?" he remarked. "Six to two is suicide even for the Cylons," he added.

"We stand our ground!" Adama put a stop to the chatter. He turned his attention to Starbuck; only a look was needed to relay his order.

Kara knew what had to be done. "Helo, arm special Viper weapons," she directed.

With a heavy heart, the Captain obeyed her order. "Both nuclear devises are armed," he let them know. The idea to fix a couple Vipers with a nuclear device was a tricky risk. The release mechanisms were jerry-rigged by Tyrol because Vipers had never been meant for such payload. But they were the fastest ships, which meant they had the best chance of dropping their bombs and getting to safety.

Now came the harder part. "Red leader," Kara's voice tried hard not to break as she called to him. "You know how this has to end," she didn't want to make it an order, didn't think she actually could.

"_Well, at least one of us will make it," he replied, not able to keep the edge from his voice at all. "Kara, I…"_

"Shut the frak up, Apollo," she cut him off. "Drop your cargo and get the hell out of there. You've done it before, I know you won't fail me this time," her voice cracked as she glanced over at the Admiral.

Adama's face was a hard mask. "Don't make this a one way ticket, Apollo," the old man used his son's call sign but only to fight the emotional onslaught he was feeling. He couldn't think of the possible outcomes at the moment. "Apollo and Hotdog, may the Gods be with you," he concluded as he sent them on their way.

Kara had come up with the plan, knew the risk. Also knew that if they hit it just right they had a twelve second head start, just enough time at maximum speed to get clear of the explosion. She'd gone over the details time and time again in her head. That didn't make standing there and waiting any easier.

"_According to the schematic D'anna gave us earlier, there should be a small passage right through the belly of the beast," Lee spoke through a secure channel. "All I have to do is time the release correctly. I see it coming up now. I've got a clear window, going in now…"_

The entire CIC held their breath as they listened to a silence comm. Kara gritted her teeth. Adama stood completely still with his head cocked toward the dradis screen above their heads. Helo drummed his fingers nervously against the console. Gaeta watched Dee from across the room and caught her eye. He shot her an encouraging look.

"Detonation of Apollo's weapon confirmed," Helo read what his instruments were telling him. "He should be through the blast in ten seconds," he relayed, leaving out the part about, _if_ he made it.

"_That is one hell of a light show," Selix relayed as the Vipers continued their assault. "I don't see him," her words caught in her throat._

"_Frak," Hotdog interrupted all their worried thoughts. "I can't release my weapon. It won't disengage. I can't shake it!" his voice grew grave as he approached the Cylon base star. "I guess this is it…"_

"_Don't you dare gave up yet, Costanza!" Lee's voice boomed over the comm._

A lone tear worked its way down Kara's cheek and she quickly swiped it away. "What took you so long, Apollo?" she asked. "Don't you know you've got a team to lead out there? Get Hotdog out of this and there just might be a reward in it for you," she teased, suddenly not caring that his ex-wife and father could hear every word.

"_Now that's something worth fighting for," Lee returned with a grin in his tone. "Athena, how close are you?" he called to the Raptor pilot._

"_Right behind you," her static-laden voice replied. "If you're thinking what I'm thinking, I'll be there." She assured the man._

"_Good."_

"_Hey, anyone want to fill me in on what you all are thinking?" Hotdog asked. "I've got about thirty seconds before I lose the perfect release spot, so any advice would be welcome."_

"_Set a direct course, make sure that Viper hits the base star," Apollo instructed. "But punch out at minus ten seconds to impact."_

"_I'll be there to pick you up," Athena added._

Adama nodded his head as he listened to the plan that was taking shape. He was proud of his son for taking charge, but mostly he was just relieved to have him alive. "What's the status of the other base stars?" he asked, remembering that there was still plenty left to do. He needed to keep himself on the ball.

"One enemy ship has been destroyed by allied base stars. Its three to two now, but our side is taking heavy hits. I'm really not so sure how long they can keep this up," Helo informed the Admiral.

"We're about to lose our last nuke so let's pray that it's enough," Adama turned his ear back to Hotdog just in time to hear the countdown.

"_Punching out in ten, nine, eight…"_

An alarm in CIC went off, drowning out the pilot's voice. Gaeta's scanned his console. "I've got more enemy signals popping up here. Two… no, three… make that four more base stars," he reported.

"We didn't see that one coming," Adama clenched his right hand into a fist.

"_Three, two, one…"_

Kara listened to the sound of Lee's voice as he continued to bark out orders. It was a beacon keeping her connected to the action that she so desperately wanted to be a part of at the moment. _"Viper has made contact and…"_ there was a short pause as static filled the air. _"Base star is destroyed!"_ he finally relayed.

"_And I've got Hotdog," Athena reported. "A little worse for wear, but he's alive."_

A small victory had been made but they were all still on alert. "Sir," Gaeta turned to face the Admiral. "The… the new base stars are firing on… the enemy Cylons," he informed the old man.

"You mean they're on our side?" Helo wasn't ready to celebrate just yet.

Dee broke through the confusion. "D'anna Biers from the lead base star wishes to speak to you Admiral," she relayed.

"Put it on speaker," he ordered.

"_Sorry for the surprise, Admiral. Our reinforcements were scouting further out than we realized. It took them a while to get here and they're having trouble transmitting the Colonial signal. But I assure you, they are on our side."_

A sigh of relief escaped his mouth. "Didn't think I'd ever be happy to see a base star, let alone four of them," he replied. "It doesn't seem the enemy has any further backup," the Admiral noted. "Close in and finish this," he ordered her. It was a strange sight to see the base stars complying with his order. A new dawn was indeed upon them.

CIC watched as the enemy base star signals winked out, one by one. When the last one disappeared, the cheering aboard Galactica was deafening. Adama watched as his crew patted each other one the back and shook hands. Somehow they had made it through. Somehow they were still standing. He couldn't help the smile that came to his face as he regarded Starbuck. "You ready to find Earth again?"

Kara was thankful of the happy look on the old man's face. She hoped it would prove to further break down the wall between them. "Apparently I've always been ready," she smirked.

"How's that?" his eyes narrowed a bit in confusion.

She shrugged. "The Cylons claim that it's been hardwired into me since birth, encoded in my DNA. It's why they've been after me all this time. I try not to question it any more than that, hurts my head. And according to Lee, there's not much up there to start with," she smiled, realizing that Lee was alive and that they had just won the most important battle of the war. She could almost picture herself with Lee and Erin on Earth, a small house along a stretch of beach somewhere, and not a single worry.

"Admiral!" Dee shouted over the noisy CIC. "Admiral, I have Colonel Tigh on the line," she broke through to him.

Adama chuckled as he continued to watch the jovial celebration going on around him. "Where the frak has he been?" the old man asked. "Tell him he missed all the…"

"Sir, he says that the president has been shot," the woman finally relayed. CIC fell silent upon hearing the words. "He's asking that you and Captain Thrace get to conference room three, ASAP."

"No," Kara's face went pale. "No, please Gods, no," she sprinted out the door, followed closely by Adama.

* * *

**To be continued…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.  
**Note:** Thanks again for all your comments. I really appreciate them. Enjoy!

* * *

**All is not Lost  
****Part 10**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

Adrenaline coursed through Kara's veins, pushing her as fast as she could go. She was vaguely aware of Adama somewhere behind her. He seemed to be keeping up amazingly well. Kara had a feeling the same fears were spurring him along. The bank of conference rooms were one deck down, normally about a five minute walk. Starbuck had run the route a million times; she was there in less than two.

Her heart pumped a fearful cadence in her ears as she stood in the open hatchway. Glancing around, panic gripped her as she spotted Roslin across the room. The president's body lay supine against the cold metal deck, a puddle of crimson pooled at one side. Adama came up behind her, quickly accessing the scene. It didn't take him long at all before he was at Roslin's side. He went to his knees, frantically searching her neck for a pulse.

"Where the hell is Cottle?" he called over his shoulder.

Kara frantically scanned the room, searching in vain for a small blonde-haired child. Coming up empty handed, she finally registered Colonel Tigh's presence. He was crouched down near the rear entry of the room. Kara recognized Roslin's aid that lay beside him, unmoving. His voice was gruff but distant.

"I contacted him before you," Saul replied to Adama's question. He looked up and caught Kara's tense eyes staring down upon him. "He was on the flight deck treating wounded. That's a longer trip than from CIC," he noted in a somber tone. He tried to look away but Starbuck's cold glare held him captive.

"Where is Erin?" she asked in a shaky voice. "She was with the president when I left them. Where is she?" her tone grew stronger as she regarded Tigh's lost looking face. Kara glanced around again but still found no sign of her child. She cut across the room and her hands shot out without warning, grabbing Tigh by the neck. "Where the frak is she?!"

Tigh felt his back collide with the metal bulkhead. "I don't know," he shook his head but didn't fight against her anger. "When I found them, Roslin had fallen on the girl to keep her safe from the gunfire," Saul explained in a whisper as her strong hand remained at his throat. "I tended to Tory and then someone knocked me out," he rubbed at a sore spot on his head to emphasize the point. "When I came to, Roslin was turned over and the girl gone. I called Cottle then the Admiral. That's it," he concluded.

She released him and he sunk dejectedly to the floor. Kara spun around, went straight to the phone on the other side of the room and contacted CIC. She knew that time was of the essence. "Gaeta, I need to know if any ships left Galactica after the first wave of Vipers," her tone was a demand, not a question.

"_Only the reserve fighters," Gaeta replied._

"How many?" she persisted.

"_The usual, seven… wait a minute," the line went silent for a second. "The record here shows that there were eight reserve Vipers launched. That's odd," the lieutenant mused. "We only had seven registered pilots remaining on board, aside from yourself," he let her know._

"Get me Tyrol!" she ordered.

Across the room, Adama drifted away from Starbuck's conversation as he heard Laura moan softly. He looked down just in time to catch her eyes fluttering open. His heart leapt to know that she was conscious. "You gave us quite a scare," he voiced only a small fraction of the concern he was feeling. She winced as her arm tried to reach out toward him. "Don't move," he smoothed a hand over her arm and laid it back. "Cottle will be here shortly."

"No time," Laura made the smallest attempt to shake her head. "It was going to happen, one way or the other," she managed to whisper the words. "Maybe it's better this way. Faster."

"No," he shook his head at her. Bill stayed himself from tears but showed his affection by simply taking her hand. He carefully stroked the pale skin of her fingers. "Don't you dare talk like that, Cottle is on his way," he told her again. "This is not how it ends between you and me. I won't allow that."

"Is she okay?" Roslin's voice was fading. Her eyes closed. "Is the child safe?"

His jaw tightened as he looked to Starbuck again. He hadn't heard much around him but enough to know that the girl was missing. "She's going to be fine," Adama lied as he returned his focus to Laura. He didn't think it necessary to tell her that the child was gone. It wasn't something she needed to know at the moment.

"Captain Thrace?" Laura's gravelly voice called out. Kara spared no time as she made her way to the president's side. "Does she know the way to Earth?" Roslin asked in a soft whisper.

Kara's eyes narrowed. "She? You mean Erin?" she asked.

"Wanted her… to find Earth. Must keep her safe," Roslin drifted off before she could make any more sense of what had happened.

Adama wondered where the hell Cottle was as he continued to hold Laura's hand. The president's words echoed in his head as he turned to Starbuck. "You said that the way to Earth was encoded into your DNA somehow," Adama started to put the pieces together. "They obviously believe that Erin shares your genetic sense of direction," he concluded. "But Tory is dead, if she didn't get Erin away…"

"She had an accomplice," Kara interrupted just as Cottle's team rushed into the room.

Cottle glanced over at Tory. Tigh shook his head and motioned for the doctor to get straight to the president. The doc did just that. Kara and the admiral took a step back as the team worked. "Gaeta just told me that an extra viper launched with the reserve fighters, Tyrol confirmed it." Kara whispered. "She's small enough, I did it myself. But who else would be helping Tory?"

"I don't know, but I plan to find out," Adama watched as they carefully situated Laura on a board. In a matter of seconds she was being rushed to sick bay. The old man reluctantly let her go as he stayed behind. "What happened here, Saul?" Adama had blood stains on his hands and he wanted nothing more than to follow Laura down the corridor, but he had other duties to tend to first. "Why were you here?"

There was still tension between the two. Adama hadn't really had time to process the idea of his old friend being a Cylon. Everything had happened so quickly that they hadn't talked. But he'd been ready to have Saul at his side during battle. When things got tough, there was no one else he trusted more. Now the doubts were creeping in again. Thoughts of Saul's possible involvement in Roslin's shooting were seeping into his head and he didn't much care for them.

"I was on my way to CIC," Tigh recalled. "I saw Tory leading the president and the girl off the flight deck; I assumed they were headed to the safe room in the cargo bay. Then I passed them again on deck two, a long way from the cargo bay. I didn't think too much of it as I continued. But just outside of CIC something made me turn back," he paused. "I just… I never thought Tory would hurt anyone. She was just as confused as the rest of us, but I never thought…"

Adama's whole body stiffened. "The rest of you?" he questioned. "What do you mean by that?"

"She was one of us," Tigh revealed. "A Cylon."

Kara was sheathing as the words slipped out of Tigh's mouth. "You knew about her?" she shook her head in disbelief. "You fraking knew she was a Cylon and you didn't say a thing, didn't warn us?!"

"It wasn't my place," the colonel replied.

The old man restrained Kara as he spoke. "Well it's your place now," he grumbled. Adama was trying to keep calm even as his thoughts were on overload. "On your feet," he ordered and waited as Saul scrambled to attention. "We're going to get to the bottom of all this," the Admiral declared as he ushered Colonel Tigh and Starbuck out of the room.

xxx

Lee jumped down off his ladder just as Adama, Tigh and Kara entered the flight deck. He made his way to Kara, having already been apprised of the situation by Helo via the comm. He'd landed as fast as he could, worried out of his mind. "Where is she?" he asked her the second they came together, his arms around her waist.

Her head shook against his shoulder as she allowed herself a second to be held. For a moment, she didn't care about protocol or being strong. All she wanted was her daughter back. They pulled apart as Tyrol came over to join the group. Lee kept her hand in his, both needing the strength of one another.

"I checked the reserve log," the chief began. "All fighter squadrons enter launch tubes at the same time and deploy as a group. They all have individual clearance launch codes because we can't verify them all personally when we're in a crunch," he explained procedure that they already knew. "Well, when I checked the log of codes, there where eight instead of seven. The eighth belongs to Samuel Anders," he revealed.

"What?" Kara felt a shiver run along her spine.

"He's still on the flight roster," Tyrol replied. "We never removed his code because we just haven't had time in all this… mess. But the only ones who have access to the codes are the Admiral, Colonel Tigh and I. And the CAG, of course," he explained.

"None of us gave that code out," Adama assured the chief, still giving Tigh the benefit of the doubt. "So who was in the pilot's seat? Who was on launch duty, they must have seen something," he hoped.

"I already questioned Captain Willis," Tyrol spoke again. "She said they all launched so fast that she really didn't keep track other than to make sure all systems checked out. Safety is first protocol, all else tends to slip under the radar when the fighting starts," Tyrol relayed the news to the not so happy faces staring back at him.

"I might be able to help," Cally announced as she moved toward the group. "I found a vid feed from the eighth launch tube," she waved a small disk at them and proceeded toward a nearby wall monitor. They all followed as she placed the disk and waited. The picture was too far away at first, but as Cally zoomed in, the image became clear.

"No fraking way," Lee squinted at the image, hoping his eyes were playing tricks on him. "What is the date on that? It must be old."

Cally scrolled across the bottom of the screen and brought up the date. Sure enough, it was marked correctly. They all continued to stare for a moment until finally the chief broke their silence. "Then, they've already cloned him," the reality was finally sinking into Tyrol's head.

Adama was the first to catch on. "Are you telling me that Anders was… _is_ a Cylon too?" he asked, seeing that both Lee and Kara were speechless by the sudden turn of events. "And you knew this?" he turned to Tigh. "You both knew about Sam and Tory, didn't you?"

Tyrol nodded. "Yes," Tigh admitted.

"And you lied to me?!" Adama was so far beyond angry he didn't know what to do. "You said nothing?" his voice held that dangerous tone of calm furry that they all knew and feared.

Tyrol shook his head, "No, sir." He stood tall against the admiral. "We came forward for ourselves. We wanted to prove to you and everyone in the fleet that some Cylons do have a choice and take responsibility for their actions," he defended.

"Responsibility?" Adama wasn't appeased. "Yet you both willingly sat on sensitive information while I trusted you," he felt more betrayed than when he'd first found out they were Cylons.

"Admiral, I can…" the chief tried to reason with the old man.

"Silence!" Adama shouted, causing most on the flight deck to stop what they were doing and turn toward the Admiral. "If the Cylons find Earth first because of what has happened here, we are all dead," he gritted the words out. He got in Tyrol's face. "If anything happens to that child, I will allow Starbuck to personally pull the airlock switch," he threatened.

No one breathed for a moment as the Admiral slowly moved toward Tigh. His eyes were dark narrow slits as he formed the carefully chosen words upon his lips. "And if the president dies," he paused, taking a deep breath. "You'll wish there was an airlock around, because you sure as hell won't like what I have planned for you."

xxx

Tory's body had been removed but Roslin's blood remained on the floor as they re-gathered in the conference room that had been the President's headquarters aboard Galactica. Adama paced as Lee and Kara stood to his left, both still trying to comprehend the sudden news of Anders' Cylon identity. D'anna and Leoben waited, not so patiently, beside armed Marine's. They didn't care for the accusatory glances being shown their way.

Colonel Tigh and the chief stood further away from the others, still not sure where they stood with the Admiral. Adama finally focused on D'anna and Leoben. "Do you know anything about the Cylons thinking that Erin knows the way to Earth?" he asked.

D'anna once again spoke as their leader. "There are some with that belief but it has yet to be proven," she revealed. "Those of us who have allied ourselves with you like a sure thing, which is why we hedged our bet and decided to follow the original," her head nodded in the direction of Starbuck.

"The original?" Kara spat with indignation. Her face screwed up. "My Gods, is this all some sort of game to you?"

"Certainly not," D'anna shook her head. "We came to you because we all want the same thing; a new beginning on Earth. This is not a game. We have freely admitted our mistakes. When we took Hera we believed it was for her protection, a matter that we have since learned to be incorrect. She belongs with her parents, as your child belongs with you. They are our future."

"Then you'll help us get her back?" Adama asked. He still had his reservations about the child's existence but he knew if the Cylons got to Earth before them, there would be no hope left for them in the universe.

"In any way possible," Leoben agreed without hesitation. He turned to Kara. "We understand you're skepticism, but we have not lied to you since the dawn of this current interaction between our people. I told you that you would see him again. I saw it in a vision from one of the Hybrids. The problem there is that we see only bits and pieces, not the whole."

"The outcome of all of this is still uncertain," D'anna reiterated his words. "What is your plan?"

Adama made a very quick decision. "The plan is the same as it's always been," the Admiral shared a brief look with Starbuck. "We fight them until we can't any longer, and we get this fleet to Earth," he concluded.

The Cylons bowed to his lead. "According to our battle reports, one of the enemy base stars was not destroyed. It jumped away." D'anna let them know what they'd discovered shortly after their victory.

"Makes sense," Lee nodded, coming to the forefront of the conversation. "And in all the confusion, one Viper boarding a base star could easily go unnoticed. He must have disabled the Viper's Colonial signal and slipped right past us." He hated the idea that it had been so easy. Lee hated even more knowing that it had been someone they once trusted.

"Admiral!" a young lieutenant exclaimed as she came through the entry hatch. "Admiral, I'm sorry to interrupt but Major Cottle is asking for you in sick bay. It's about the president," the woman relayed.

He nodded his head and the lieutenant left. Adama glanced to Tigh, then Starbuck. Finally his eyes locked with Lee's. "I want you to handle this," he spoke with the utmost confidence in his decision. "I want a plan of attack, it's up to you," the old man concluded as he promptly left the group behind.

Lee took a deep breath. He didn't know whether to be grateful or worried by his father's sudden trust in him. He was no stranger to command but knowing how much rode on the current task and knowing that his father was putting it all on his shoulders; it wasn't an easy burden, to say the least. He found all eyes looking to him to continue the conversation that his father had started. "First, we need to figure out where they've gone," he began.

"There is a way," Leoben replied. "All one of us has to do is reform a link to the greater nexus. We'll know exactly where they are in a matter of seconds," he revealed. "The problem is that they'll know our position as well."

"Which means some of us stay behind while we get the rest of the fleet to Earth," Lee realized aloud. "I volunteer."

"So do I," Kara instantly joined in.

"There's a bit of a problem with that, Captain," Lee tried to keep things professional between them while the Cylons were present. "The problem being, you need to lead the fleet to Earth."

"And leave my daughter behind?" she shook her head at the thought.

"But you must," it was Leoben that spoke up. "Your destiny is to lead us to Earth," he reminded her.

Kara made a move toward the Cylon. "Don't even start that again…" Lee held her arm before she could lash out.

"We all know how much you love her, but you won't leave the rest of us in the lurch," Leoben continued despite her angry outburst. "It's why you went to Earth, why you sacrificed so much. You did it for all of us, because it's what you're meant to do. And as much as you like to buck authority, you are loyal to the core," he reached out and placed a hand against her shoulder.

"Frak you!" she shrugged off his touch. "You're not the one I was with on Earth and you're not her father. You don't know anything about me!" Kara shouted.

Lee knew that it was finally hitting her, everything in one sudden sucker punch to the jaw. He quickly took hold of her and pulled her to the side of the room. "Don't do this okay?" he kept his voice low to keep the others out of their conversation.

"Do what?" Kara tried very hard to keep any emotion from her tone.

He locked eyes with her. "I know you Kara," he wouldn't let her look away as she tried to dip her head. "I know how your head works. Right now you can't stop thinking that the first time you looked away for a second, something happened to her," Lee finally called her on the real issue at hand.

Her lips twitched in defiance. "Well, its true isn't it?" she shot back, shrugging off his comforting hands. "I ruin everything good." It was too much at once. Erin was gone, Sam was a Cylon and she couldn't even go to rescue her own child. She bolted from the room. Lee tried his best not to let her frustration get to him. There was still too much to handle.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to upset her," Leoben apologized as Lee rejoined the others.

Lee glared at the man but restrained himself, knowing that he needed to keep the peace. "Look, we're going to need an airtight plan to wave under her nose if we expect her to lead the fleet to Earth and leave us behind to retrieve Erin. So, like I was saying before, some of us will have to stay behind…"

"I volunteer," Tigh's voice echoed through the room as he joined the group.

"Me too," Tyrol added, stepping forward as well.

"You'll have our complete cooperation," D'anna agreed.

xxx

"What is he doing here?" Adama asked upon entering the medical bay and seeing Baltar at Roslin's bedside.

Cottle quickly moved to intercept the two before they could butt heads. "I asked him in on this," the doctor informed Adama. "The bullet wounds caused no damage to any internal organs, but she's lost a lot of blood, which has compromised her already weak system," he relayed. "We need to do a transfusion but Baltar wants to try a new treatment. It would require using more Cylon pathogens," he revealed.

"You're serious?" the old man asked. He moved toward Laura and stood beside her bed. The first thing he did was take her hand again, recalling what she's told him about her great-grandmother. He could only hope there was enough hand holding and sitting left to save her life a second time.

"I've spent a great deal more time with the Cylon since the first treatment," Baltar was wary of the man but still as proud of his work as ever and not afraid to boast a bit. "I believe the new formula I've developed could wipe out her cancer for good this time," he grinned.

Bill Adama hadn't been keen on the idea the first time around but it had worked, for a while. He knew the newest cure might only be a patch as well, but he discovered that he didn't really care. Any more time he could have with her was worth it. But there was new concern, ethical and personal. "You have a willing donor for this, formula?" he asked, still not entirely comfortable about using Cylons in such a way.

Cottle cleared his throat. "Uh, it seems we do," he nodded his head across the room.

The old man spotted Tory's body and felt his heart skip a beat. He didn't know if it was fitting punishment or just a cruel joke that the Gods were playing on all of them. He again made the decision fast and tried not to dwell on it too much. Adama watched and waited as Baltar injected the woman who he'd come to love. With any luck, some day soon he'd be able to tell her that.

There was nothing to do but wait as Cottle and Baltar slipped away quietly. Bill remained steadfast in his position but he registered another presence in the room. He was surprised to find her standing in the doorway and watched as she moved closer, so close that her lips were near Roslin's ear. She whispered something he couldn't make out.

"I was wrong, what I said before," Kara felt her heart ache. "I know you did your best. I know you tried to protect her in every way possible, despite your misgivings," her voice was raw with emotion. "You have been a very good mother, to all of us." She pulled away, clenching and unclenching her hands into fists.

Adama dared to reach out to her. "I'm surprised to find you here," his tone was a little cold. "Even more surprised that you haven't taken one of my Vipers and left by now."

Kara didn't look at him, kept her eyes on Roslin. "Trust me, that thought has entered my head several times the last hour. The only reason I am still standing here and haven't commandeered some sort of transport off this ship yet, is because I trust Lee. I know he'll bring her back to me. And I'm trying to do the responsible thing by staying put."

"Not very fun is it?" his voice softened.

"Not at all," she finally turned toward him, longing for the days when they had been as close as father and daughter. "I think I'm going to go crazy leaving her behind and it doesn't help matters when people start pointing out how much I've matured and how I won't risk the fleet by taking off. I kind of wish I'd never heard of this damn destiny crap in the first place."

He squeezed Laura's hand. "You seemed egger to get us all to Earth before," he pointed out.

"That was before my daughter was…" she threw up her hands in frustration. "Gods know where," Kara lamented. She watched him as he stood beside the president. He hadn't budged an inch since she'd walked in. His face was a mask of calm. "How do you do it?" she finally asked. "How do you sit back while you send us out there to fight? How do you watch Lee go off time and time again and not completely lose your mind? How do you do any of it?"

Adama shook his head. "I don't know. I just wake up every morning and pray that I'll make it through. That's all any of us can do."

Quiet blanketed over them again. Neither seemed willing to leave. That's how Lee came upon them a few minutes later. He'd never seen either of them look so lost before. One hand went to his father's shoulder, the other to Kara's. He watched the president with them for a few minutes before he finally lead Kara away from the bed.

"You have a plan?" she asked, trying not to lose it.

He nodded. "The plan is, I bring her back or die trying" Lee conveyed.

"No," she countered. Her tone remained firm. "We need to get something straight here; there is only one way this all ends. I take them to Earth, you find Erin and you _both_ come back to me. Do you understand?"

Lee couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped his mouth as she fell into his arms again. "You don't ask for much," he smiled against her warm check and they both held on for as long as they could. "I understand," his words were a promise.

* * *

**To be continued…**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.

* * *

**All is not Lost  
****Part 11**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

The distant beeping of a machine was the first thing he recognized as his eyes opened. Adama looked around and realized he was still in the med bay. He sat forward in the uncomfortable metal chair by Roslin's bed, and stretched his aching muscles. His eyes spotted the heart monitor that was hooked to the president. It showed a steady up and down spike, for which he was grateful.

"She's healed remarkably well," Cottle came up behind him and grabbed the chart at the end of her bed. "It's only been a few hours but I don't see any sign of cancerous cells on her latest lab results. So far, Baltar's treatment seems to be working," he let the old man know, replacing the chart.

Adama stood and went to her side. "She'll live?" he wasn't quite ready to believe it. They'd thought as much before and it had come back.

"She'll live," Cottle nodded. "Not so sure how happy she'll be about what we've done, but she'll live."

He digested the answer for a moment but still couldn't help wondering if it was just another temporary fix. "Why hasn't she woken up yet?" Worry clouded any elation over the news of her cancer's remission. There was still the matter of her chest wound.

"Takes a bit of time to heal," Cottle noted. "I imagine she'll wake up when she's damn good and ready, the way she does most things."

The hint of a smile crept over Adama's face at that response. It was very true and most days he wondered how he'd ever started to fall for such a stubborn woman. It was a lot of little things really, and none of them fitting for the military leader of a fleet to be thinking. "About the Cylons…" he quickly changed thought processes.

"You mean Tory, the Colonel… chief Tyrol?" Cottle looked for clarification. He knew it was most likely the newest additions to the Cylon family that had the Admiral thinking. Adama's nod confirmed. The doc shook his head. "I'm afraid you're looking for answers that I can't give you."

"But you've studied them, Tory, Boomer, the others on New Caprica." Adama paused, taking a second to figure out what it was he really wanted to know. "You understand something of Cylon physiology."

Cottle sighed. "All I know is that they have blood and guts, same as the rest of us," he answered. "On New Caprica I tried to patch them the best I could. It's what I do."

"What about Baltar's theory," Adama couldn't let it go. "You told me that maybe they were adapted somehow, that they're Human but the Cylons have changed them. Is that even possible?"

The Major was growing restless as he pulled a cigarette from the pocket of his white coat. "Like I said, you're looking for answers I can't give you," he repeated. "I don't know if he has any more clue than I do, or if he was just guessing to give us some sort of an answer. You'd be better off talking to him about all this."

"He's gone," Adama sighed. He was actually relieved to be rid of the man, even if he did still have questions. "He lobbied for the release of the Six in our brig in exchange for his help. I obliged."

"Wasn't she already due to be released?" Cottle chuckled.

"The man may be a genius when it comes to some things, but what he doesn't know is not my concern." Adama grinned. "They've left Galactica and are probably rooming on one of the Cylon base stars out there," he mused, still not quite believing that there were _friendly_ Cylons drifting along their port side.

"Then we might never know for sure," Cottle tapped the cigarette against the palm of his hand.

"But I need to know," Adama was not assuaged.

Cottle forgot his cigarette for a moment. "Why?" he asked with genuine wonder. "We voted, we agreed to a peace treaty. What does it really matter now?"

"I just… I don't know how to let go," Adama showed a rare moment of weakness to the doctor. The past few days had definitely worn him down. The old Adama never would have admitted defeat or shown that he didn't have all the answers, but he'd been doing it quite a bit lately.

The cigarette rested in Cottle's mouth, dangling from his lips as he fished through his pockets for a light. "You know you didn't do anything wrong," he spoke through partially closed lips. "This is not punishment for the decisions you've made. The war is over and that's a good thing."

"But it's my duty to know these things, to have the answers," Adama persisted.

Doc Cottle halted his search and removed the cigarette. "No, it's your duty to do your best," he wagged a finger at the Admiral. "If you keep fighting that war inside your head then the victory we just celebrated doesn't mean a damn thing. Your duty now is to move on and to get us all to Earth. Simple as that," he finally produced a lighter, lit the cigarette and was on his way.

Adama watched him go, wishing he could have such a cavalier attitude about life. But then he wouldn't be the leader of an entire fleet. He wouldn't be the one carrying around the burden of finding a home for thousands of people. He wouldn't be the one with a heavy load of guilt riding upon his shoulders.

Something in those thoughts sparked a sudden memory as he regarded the sleeping president. He remembered the last time he'd felt helpless to save her and the others on New Caprica. _"I don't think we can survive. I don't think the fleet, or Galactica, or the people on New Caprica can survive unless the man at the top finds a way to forgive himself."_

Athena's words rang in his head. She'd been right back then and the words still held true. None of them would ever be able to move forward if he didn't make the first move, if he didn't lead by example. "Simple as that," he whispered to himself. "Easier said than done," Adama reached out and gave Laura's hand a quick squeeze before he headed for the flight deck.

xxx

Cally stood on the flight deck, keeping a close watch on the heavy raider that was docked there. She'd gone over the ship herself, checked every nook and cranny for anything out of the ordinary, not that she knew exactly what would be out of the ordinary on a Cylon vessel. Mostly she was just going though the motions, anything to take her mind off the latest events.

The colonel and her husband approached; a stalwart mask of determination upon their faces. The chief regarded his wife, not sure what to say. They hadn't spoken much about what was going on. He really didn't know if she hated him or was worried. He hoped for the latter, but feared the former.

"I guess we'll see you on Earth," Cally bravely ventured, uncertain how to proceed.

"Will I have a place there?" Tyrol asked. "With you?"

Cally pursed her lips and fiddled with the tool in her hands. "I don't know," she finally replied.

He nodded. "At least you're honest," it counted for something in his mind. "Take care of Nicky," it wasn't so much a request as it was a need to know that one aspect of his life would be alright, despite everything else crumbling around him.

She flashed the smallest smile his way. Nicolas was the one good thing holding them together. Tyrol watched as she moved away, still hoping they had a chance to make things right between them. He heard Tigh clear his throat beside him. "She'll come around," the colonel seemed confident.

"I'm not so sure," Tyrol replied as they took a first step onto the raider's boarding ramp.

"What happened to that confidence I heard a few days ago?" Tigh questioned.

The chief furrowed his brows at the older man. "If I remember correctly, you called me a fool for that," he pointed out.

"I was wrong," no one was more surprised by the words than him. "I was wrong about a lot of things. You were right to tell them about us," Tigh shook his head. "I sit back, I pass judgment and I let life pass me by. I take the easy way out, lost in the bottom of a bottle," he looked up to find the Admiral had entered the deck. "I've never fought for anything I really wanted," he lamented.

Adama surveyed the deck and spotted Tigh and Tyrol just before they disappeared into the heavy raider. He felt a bit like a coward as he let them go without a word of encouragement. He knew it was because of him that they had volunteered, feeling they needed to prove their worth. All they asked for was a bit of forgiveness and yet he still could not budge.

He watched as D'anna and Leoben boarded as well. Then he spotted his son with a clipboard in his hands. Lee passed the item off to Cally as his father approached. They stood for a long moment, in silence. "We never talk about it, do we?" Lee finally asked.

The old man dipped his head and was surprised when he felt Lee embrace him. There had been a lot wrong between them in the past weeks but at the end of the day, they were family. That meant more to either of them than anything. What was still broken would hopefully have time to heal on Earth. If not, no words could sum up their true feelings, so they didn't plan on trying. They simply parted with a hug.

Adama quietly stepped aside as Kara approached. He moved to speak with Cally, making sure everything for Lee's mission was set. Kara stood in front of Lee, her chin out, trying to look the picture of a calm soldier about to go to battle. "As soon as we get the fleet through, I'll be back. And I expect to see you waiting."

The only problem in looking strong was the battle she fought inside, leaving her child behind as she took the others to safety. She knew in her head that it was right to save a thousand lives over one, but in her heart it was nearly unbearable. She'd never listened to her heart much before. But since Erin had opened it up, her heart had been speaking much louder.

"Yes, sir," Lee gave her a mock salute, hoping to lighten the tension he could see written on her face. "We'll be here. I know it might seem like a long time to you, but it will only be a couple hours here at most, right? So I'll see you soon," a hand went to her arm, running along the flight suit's fabric.

Kara felt a small bit of worry ebb as she silently thanked him for being so understanding. She knew she didn't deserve it. "If I didn't know better I'd suspect you volunteered to stay behind just so I'd be even older than you when we meet up again," a hint of lightness finally edged its way into a smile on her face.

"Well, I do like older woman," Lee kept up the banter. "In fact I've been thinking about arm wrestling the old man for Roslin's affections," he quipped.

Her smile grew at that but quickly faltered. She bit her lower lip to stave off the earlier emotions. "What are we doing?"

Lee shrugged. "Avoiding good-bye?"

"I won't say it," Kara shook her head as she felt the strength of his love through the simple gesture of his hand at her arm.

"No," he agreed. "This isn't good-bye."

She let some bravery back into her words. "I will say, watch your back. I know they're supposed to be on our side, but I don't trust that Leoben. He's been too…"

"Nice?" Lee supplied. "I know. I'll be on guard, promise."

"Lee, when you find…" Kara shook her head, swearing she would not cry on the flight deck of all places. "Just tell her I…"

"She knows, Kara," Lee finally wrapped her up completely in his arms. "I love you," he whispered in her ear as he held on tighter, not caring that most eyes on the deck were focused their way.

"I love you too," she pulled back to look him in the eye. "And I'm not saying that because I don't think you're not coming back."

"I'm not either," he made that clear. "When this is over, I don't care how insane it sounds but I'm making an honest woman out of you."

A sharp bark of laughter emitted as she pushed him away toward the heavy raider. "That should be fun to watch," she called after him. Her eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief even as the mist of tears threatened to fall.

Lee smiled confidently as she backed further away from the raider. He knew it wasn't going to be easy on either of them, but the goal was too important to dwell on the separation. He finally turned away and walked up the ramp. "Our vessel is at your disposal," D'anna met him at the ship's entrance. "But you do need to abide by our command," she looked to him for an answer as her hand hovered over the closure control.

"I can do that," Lee nodded as he looked to those on the ship. "As long as you all know I'm not leaving this confrontation without the child."

"Understood" she nodded and pressed the button.

Adama watched as the ramp raised and the ship was rolled to the docking platform lift. He then followed Kara to her Viper. "So, how does this work?" he suddenly realized how far out of the loop he was in regards to Kara's plan. It wasn't like him to relinquish control so easily, but he'd had other concerns. He also had faith in his children. Even through all the rough spots, they were the ones he counted on most. "We wait for you to transmit jump coordinates from the other side?"

"No," She was all business with Lee away. It was time for her to hold up her end of the bargain. "There's no way to get a signal through that vortex, I tried from the other side. You have to fly it manually. I've organized the fleet into three groups; each has 12 ships plus two Cylon base stars. I'll lead Galatica, feeding coordinates to Gaeta every three minutes. Then you piggy-back the signal until the last ship is through. Basically, you all follow the trail of bread crumbs that I leave…"

"Bread crumbs?" the old man furrowed his brow at the phrase.

Kara smirked. "It's an Earth story, a fairy tale. Erin always liked that one a lot," she quickly pushed aside thoughts of her daughter. "Of course in the story, birds come along and eat the bread crumbs before the children can find their way home," she recalled.

He took a deep breath and held one side of the ladder that Cally had rolled up to Kara's viper. "Then we better make sure there are no other birds in the sky," Adama replied as she scrambled up into her ship and slipped into the cockpit. He followed her and handed over her helmet. "I'll see you when we reach Earth."

She held the helmet in her hands as she struggled with the thoughts in her head. "Sir, I…" there was so much she wanted to say as she looked over at him, but the words wouldn't come. "I'll see you in a few hours," she settled for trusting that they'd get another chance to speak.

Adama felt his heart thump a little harder as he made his way down the ladder. That was another good-bye with unfinished business to add to the list. He watched as her Viper was rolled out then made his way off the flight deck. Working his was through the corridors to CIC, the old man arrived just in time to hear her voice through the comm.

"_Galactica, patch me through to all pilots," Kara requested._

"Copy Starbuck, you are patched through," Dee answered from her station.

"_This is going to be a bumpy ride folks, and I don't mean like the jolt of an FTL jump. When you first go in, it will feel like the whole ship is breaking up. It might even look that way on your consoles. Whatever you do, do not hold back. You just have to keep punching ahead. Follow my coordinates exactly and we'll all make it through," she prayed it was true._

The Admiral nodded to Helo for the officer to commence operations. He could clearly see that his crew had things under control. Karl proceeded to conduct roll-call. "Team leaders report status." He started with his wife. "Athena?"

"_All ships are lined up, ready to get underway," she informed him._

"Hotdog?"

"_Let's do this," the young man replied in the simplest of words._

"Racetrack?"

"_Ready when you are Galactica," her confident voice rounded out the three group leaders._

"Starbuck, all team leaders report that they are standing by," Helo relayed to his friend. "We'll proceed on your mark," he bowed to Kara's lead. It was her show now.

"_Copy that Galactica," Kara replied. "I'm going in…"_

xxx

Lee and the others hung back and listened to Galactica's initial broadcast. He heard Kara's last words and felt his stomach flop with a mixture of fear and pride. But he knew she'd get them to Earth. He had faith in that. If he couldn't get Erin, if he did die in the process… at least he knew Kara and his father would be safe.

"All ships are away," Tyrol reported from his station on the heavy raider.

Tigh looked to Lee for direction and the young officer knew that time was of the essence. "Then lets do this," he caught D'anna's eye and nodded for her to proceed. He watched with curiosity as her left hand sunk into a strange pale-pink viscous substance. Lee noted how her eyes closed and was wary as Leoben edged closer to where he was standing.

For a brief moment Lee feared he'd made the biggest mistake of his life in trusting Erin's rescue to a ship full of Cylons. Then Leoben moved just past him and proceeded to tap into the same gooey control center. Tigh stood nearby, wondering what he'd see if he put his hand in there as well. Tyrol had similar thoughts.

"They're here," D'anna pulled away from the center table and moved toward a broad expanse of bulkhead. She tapped a few controls and the opaque surface turned clear. They had a view into space. The endless inky black was marred by a lone base star, which loomed large in front of them.

"Does anyone else find it odd that one base star thinks it stands a chance against six, and an entire fleet?" Tyrol asked as he moved toward the forward view screen. "Not to mention we have a lead on them and…" his voice trailed off as another flash of light erupted in front of them. A few seconds later two more joined the others.

Tyrol's mouth hung open. "Oh…"

"Shit." Tigh concluded.

Lee felt his blood run cold as he spun around on the Cylons. "What is this, some sort of trap? You set us up!" he condemned.

"This is not our work," D'anna's tone actually sounded worried as she worked to make sense of what was happening. "They were not suppose to have this many ships. How could I not see this? Even cut off from the central cortex we should have sensed something," she insisted, looking to Leoben.

"I blocked your connective subroutines," Leoben spoke, calm as could be as he stood gazing out at the ships. "It was really quite simple," the lopsided grin on his face made Lee shiver again.

Gunfire erupted aboard the small ship and Leoben fell to the deck. Tigh stood over him, looked down without blinking. "You really should have waited to reveal that information," he intoned. His gun turned toward the other.

D'anna raised her hands as she backed away. "I assure you; I had nothing to do with this." She stared at the lifeless body of a man she had trusted.

"I believe you," Lee decided to play devil's advocate as he reached for Tigh's weapon. "But how the frak do you plan on getting us out of this?" he asked, hoping for any sort of suggestion.

"There may still be a way," she nodded. "You'll have to play the part of our prisoner. The colonel and Tyrol will pretend to have realized their Cylon objective and the three of us will get you to Erin, one way or another," the female vowed.

Lee didn't like it but they all agreed quickly to the plan, seeing no other way out. D'anna piloted the raider onto one of the base stars as she'd been instructed and they were met by two Centurions. The metal soldiers dutifully marched Lee through the ship, the others at their side. Lee scanned his surroundings.

He'd never planned to step foot on another base star in his lifetime. Of course, he never could have imagined coming to rescue Kara's half-Cylon child either. Needless to say, a lot of things hadn't exactly turned out the way Lee had planned. But that had always been a big part of the problem, the fact that he'd tried to plan his life too much.

Lee knew it was a ridiculous thought to make an honest woman out of Kara, whatever that even meant. But he planned to marry her, or at the very least share a life with her and little Erin. He'd live in sin with her if need be. Lee had already sinned at her hands numerous times. What difference would the rest of his life make?

He shook the thoughts away as they continued forward. They were passed by numerous Cylon models, mostly Cavil's and Doral's. There were a few Simon's, a scattering of Six's and even a Sharon. "I'm half expecting to see myself walk by any minute now," Tyrol remarked as his eyes regarded every last bit of steel and bolts on the ship.

"Nothing could surprise me any longer," Tigh replied just as they were led into a large Chamber.

It was a little colder in the expansive room and very dark. It was also completely empty except for a platform at the center of the space. A pool of thick milky liquid resided at the top of the platform. Lee could just make out a head floating above the white-sea as they moved forward. His jaw dropped as he realized who it was immersed in the pool.

"Erin!" he shouted as he pulled against the Centurions restraints.

"She can not hear you," a voice from the darkness called out to them.

Lee stopped his pursuit and stood still. He knew that voice. It was distantly familiar to him. Not a loud or authoritative voice, it was almost gentle in its inflection. He spotted a shift of movement from across the room and watched it intently as the figure grew closer. "Dear Lords," he whispered as the man finally moved into the light.

"I guess I was wrong about not being surprised," Tigh shook his head. "That's one face I never thought I'd see again."

xxx

Roslin's breathing was slow and steady as her eyelids fluttered rapidly…

_She walked along the upper tier of the great hall, gazing at the monumental surroundings. Pristine white colonnades lined the walls on each side and marble ornaments adorned every surface. A noise caught her attention and she looked for its source. It was the sound of a child in the distance. Her feet moved of their own accord as she found herself descending stairs._

_A dark-haired child passed in front of heart the bottom landing. It was Hera, running through the grand open space. Laura followed the girl around corners and down long hallways, always too far behind to catch up. Hera was soon joined by another girl, lighter haired and just about the same height. _

_Laura recognized her instantly as she continued to trail them. They finally emerged outside into a vast green valley. It was lush with plant life and rolling hills. And a sky full of stars blanketed them from high above. One more child joined them outside, a little boy this time. He toddled after the girls, trying to keep up with shorter legs._

"_Hewa, run! He gonna get us!" The golden-haired child, whose voice she'd never heard before, squealed. Laura could tell by her inflection that it wasn't out of fright. Erin's smile reminded her of one she'd seen on Captain Thrace's face once. The children were all happy, giggling and playing some game of chase or tag._

_She glanced around looking for the person responsible for all the children's excitement. There were several figures standing off in the distance, some tall, others shorter. A few dark heads and some light. Laura thought they might be familiar to her but none of their faces were visible. She turned in circles several times until one figure finally moved closer toward the children._

_He had dark hair but she could not make out his face or any other defining quality. She watched as he swooped in and snatched Erin up into his arms. The girl laughed even louder and Laura figured it had to be Lee. He was the only one other than the child's mother who Erin had let so close._

_Laura was content to watch the happy scene until the man turned to face her. A smile grew broad across his lips even as her mouth hung open with surprise. "It's okay," he spoke assuredly to Laura. "I won't hurt them. I'd never hurt them, or you."_

"_You, you're…" she couldn't find the words to convey her surprise. "You're one of them?"_

_He nodded as he set Erin back on her feet. "It's okay now, everything will be all right."_

Roslin woke with a start. Her heart was racing as she sat up and glanced around at the darkened med lab. It felt cold in the room and no one seemed to be about. The whole ship felt odd somehow; not how she'd remembered from her numerous visits. An ache in her chest finally alerted her to the memory of her gunshot wounds. Her body fell back against the bed.

"You all right?" Cottle's voice startled her. She turned and looked up at him with questioning eyes. "We're inside that vortex thingy, I wouldn't be surprised if you felt a bit off… well, more so than normal from your injuries."

"I had a dream…" her voice was horse as she spoke. "The children were all there, it felt so real."

"What children?" Cottle seemed curious.

"Hera, Erin and the little Tyrol boy," she felt herself starting to fade. "And he was there with them, playing. He said he was one of them and they weren't afraid of him; they were all just playing a game. It felt so real," she repeated.

Cottle frowned, wondering if perhaps Baltar's cure had some how bonded her to the Cylons. She'd mentioned dreams of Hera in particular before. It didn't seem a completely unlikely result. "Who was playing with them? Another Cylon?" he tried to whittle a little more information out of her, though he could see she was edging toward sleep.

There was just a one-word reply before she slipped away again. "Billy." The name sparked memory for the doc, recalling her former aid that'd been killed in an unfortunate accident. Cottle shook his head as he scanned her vitals, concluding that it had been nothing more than a trauma induced dream.

He left her to sleep.

* * *

**To be continued…**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.

**All is not Lost  
****Part 12**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

"Billy Keikeya," the name escaped Lee's mouth.

He stared at the man who he'd known as Roslin's aid. Silence filled the expansive room for a moment as none of them knew what else to say in the wake of their most recent discovery. Saul was the one who finally looked for confirmation. "So, you're one of th…" he stopped himself, realizing the near slip he'd made. "You're one of us?" the colonel asked.

The young man smiled shyly. "I am a Cylon," he nodded. "As they are now," his hand waved to an area behind where he was standing. Two figures stepped out of the dark. No one could mistake the faces of Sam and Tory as they took up residence beside Billy.

Tyrol seemed to be the only one to catch a certain word. "Now?" he questioned.

Billy continued to smile. It wasn't unsettling the way they'd seen Cylons grin at their apparent ignorance before. But it also wasn't completely welcoming. His smile hid secrets. "They and you," he motioned to Tyrol and Tigh. "The four of you were born Human. And of course, you two are still mostly Human," he revealed.

"What does that mean, mostly human?" the chief shook his head, trying to get a hold on what was happening. First he was happily bumbling through life as a human then he was Cylon, now this man was telling him he was mostly human.

Lee finally found his voice again. "_Real_ answers would be nice," he added to the chief's question, knowing how the Cylons liked to mince words. Lee struggled against his metal captors again, trying to catch a better glimpse of Erin as he listened to the newest Cylon.

"First, we would like to assure you that the three of us are here as your friends," Billy started.

Saul's mirthless chuckled filled the room, echoing off the bare walls. "Friends?" he questioned the use of that word. "You've got the Major over there held by Centurions, the girl is trapped in some sort of stasis and Tory here tried to kill the president. Funny, but that doesn't sound all too friendly to me."

"Tried?" Billy was quick to ask, forgetting the other points Tigh had made. "Then you mean Roslin's still alive?"

The colonel narrowed his eyes at the apparent concern he heard in the Cylon's tone. It was hard to know who to trust any more. "As far as I know, she was when we left," he answered.

"Good," Billy's smile returned.

"You're going to have to do a lot more explaining than just, good," Tigh was exasperated by the way Billy kept avoiding the issues at hand. He looked over his shoulder to find D'anna was standing quietly behind him. She looked as surprised as any of them by the events taking place. He wondered if she was just a really good actress or if the Cylons truly were able to keep secrets from one another.

"When I died and the Cylons discovered my true identity among them, they came up with a new plan," Billy spoke calmly as he began to pace around the raised tub where Erin lay. "The idea was to create a link between the four major aspects of the fleet; command, government, the working class and the every day citizens. I was instructed to find the perfect candidates for this task. We took four different people in those key positions and altered them slightly. It was very experimental," he told them.

"Your experiment cost me an eye," Saul growled.

The Cylon nodded. "I am no doctor. One of the Simon models would be better equipped to go into all of the details of why that happened."

Sam stepped forward, hoping to ease a bit of the tension he saw brewing between the colonel and Billy. "I was captured back on Caprica, shortly before Kara brought me to Galactica. I was the first to be altered due to my connection in the resistance, the so-called every day citizens," he explained.

"And I was in one of the first groups taken prisoner on New Caprica," Tory jumped in where Sam left off. She looked to the Colonel. "As were you," she paused a second. "Obviously I was meant to be the political link, given my closeness to the president," she didn't think much more explanation was needed there.

Tyrol looked around. "When was I… altered?" curiosity won out, knowing they had never captured him on New Caprica.

"You were the last," Billy revealed. "I chose you to be a link to the workers. You're transformation was not until we found you at the temple on the Algae planet, the eye of Jupiter," he concluded.

The chief thought it over for a moment. "But I don't remember…"

"We made sure of that," the Cylon replied to the unfinished question. He looked to the others again. "The goal was always a peaceful one, at least on the side of those I was affiliated with," Billy clarified, though it was hard to explain.

Lee had remained silent till that point, listening but not hearing a lot of detail. "So why did Tory shoot the president? Why did Sam help her take Erin? Why are Sam and Tory Cylons _now_?" he ventured into more difficult territory. "And why, if you say you're here as friends, are these machine's still man handling me?"

With a simple glance toward one of the Centurions, Billy conveyed a message for them to release the Major and leave the room. Lee rubbed his wrists as he immediately rushed to Erin. He could see her more clearly, floating in the gelatinous mixture. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was sleeping but Lee figured there was more to it than that.

Tory's voice brought Lee back around to listen. "My Cylon programming, along with Sam's, was hacked by the group that did not agree to the peace treaty with the Colonial people," she replied. "They wanted the girl and they wanted Roslin dead, thinking that the people would give up without their leader. They also believed the child knew the way to Earth. Both simplistic thoughts, and both gravely mistaken," the female concluded.

"We asked to be cloned," Sam replied to the other inquire. "The changes they made enabled us to be downloaded. They explained what had been done and that they could make us a Cylon copy or let us die completely. It was our choice and we both agreed to the process," he revealed.

"Why?" Tigh was appalled that anyone of sound mind would wish for that fate.

"Because we wanted to atone for the wrongs we'd been forced to commit," Sam replied. "We wanted to help continue bridging that gap between Cylon and Human. What better way to do that than by willingly becoming a Cylon?" he asked.

The sentiment seemed nice enough, Lee thought. But there were still so many holes in their story; one of the biggest being whether or not they were the final Cylons or if there were others still unknown to them. As much as he wanted more answers, Lee didn't feel he had time to waste on things that might not matter if he ended up dead. He wanted to believe that Kara would be back and he tried to focus on that as he turned to Erin again. His hand reached out to her.

"You don't want to do that," Billy's voice rang in his ear just as his hand made contact with the pink substance.

_Everything around him shifted in an instant. The Cylon chamber was gone, replaced by an equally dark room that was much smaller. It looked decidedly more residential than the Cylon ship. He could make out a small kitchen, a living area and a few doors that led off to other areas. But he didn't have to venture far to realize what was going on._

_He spotted Leoben's lifeless body across the room. Another small figure was curled up beside the Cylon; her blonde hair was dirty and matted against her scalp. Her eyes were red and swollen. Lee could see that she'd been crying for a long time. He made his way forward, not sure if the girl could see him or not. Lee was horrified when he discovered the Cylon's body was blue, drained of all life it once held, even if it had been a partially mechanical life._

"_Erin!" the shriek of Kara's tone pierced Lee's heart. He watched as she was shoved into the room, noticed how her eyes widened at the same sickening site of Leoben's dead body. "You animals!" she shouted to a figure in the doorway that was shadowed by a bright light from behind. "Take him out of here," Kara pleaded with them as she tried to comfort her daughter._

_The little girl shied away from Kara, fear in her eyes. Lee didn't want to watch any more but he couldn't avoid the look on Kara's face as she returned her attention to Leoben. Her hands were gentle as they touched his cold flesh. Her voice was filled with regret as she whispered to him, "I'm sorry."_

_Lee felt light headed as the room spun. He braced himself against the wall as everything righted itself again. The space was empty now as he stared at the same area where Leoben's body had been. He looked around for any sign of Kara or Erin but was rewarded with silence. Lee investigated the area further, discovering a small wash room and then a bedroom. He was just about to leave the bedroom when a small whimper caught his attention._

_He got down on all fours and glanced under the bed to see Erin_ _was curled up in a tiny ball. It was a scene similar to when she'd hidden under the bunk in his room aboard Galactica. The creaking of a door sounded from the other room and he stood up. Then a soft thud pricked his ear and the door creaked again. He was just about to leave the bedroom when Erin_ _scurried out from underneath the bed._

_Lee followed the child into the main room and spotted another unmoving form. This time he could clearly see that it was Kara. Erin_ _went to her, wrapping her little arms around her mother as her sobs began. "Mama wake, pwease mama… pwease," she whispered. Lee sat beside Kara and the girl. He spotted rips and tears all along Kara's shirt. Old blood stains marred the cloth. And fresh blood oozed out of new wounds._

_He knew the wounds, had seen them in the form of scars on her skin shortly after her return to Galactica. Knowing there was nothing to be done of the past; Lee focused his attention on Erin. He called to her several times. His voice was desperate. "Erin, please hear me," he didn't know if she could. He had no idea what the rules were in this strange memory tank._

"_Lee?"_

_His heart leapt at the sound of his name on her lips. She was looking at him now and he was relieved to know that he'd gotten through. "Yes, it's Lee. I don't know what this is exactly but it's not real. You're mama isn't here, she's safe. She's on Galactica, remember?" he asked. "You don't have to live this anymore, you're safe too. Just come with me," he tried to assure her._

"_Leave her?" the girl didn't want to budge._

_He pointed to Kara. "That's not your mama, that's a very bad memory. We're not leaving her," Lee made that clear. "We're going to see her again real soon. I promise you, just take my hand and come with me. We'll leave all this behind."_

Another jolt rocked him as the small room dissolved. Kara's limp body faded from their view and the Cylon chamber came back into focus as Lee realized the girl was no longer in the tub. Her naked body was curled up safely in his arms. Soft whimpers filled his ear as her head rested on his shoulder. "You're safe now," he continued his reassurance.

Looking up, he spotted Billy. "What the frak was that?" he demanded.

The Cylon looked ashamed. "The pool was meant to extract her memories of Earth and the route taken through the vortex to get there. But we didn't realize how deeply her sorrow ran. It blocked out all other things. All she could focus on was the past."

"This ends now," Lee replied as a tank-clad Tigh came over and offered his uniform tunic to wrap the child in. Lee took the shirt and buttoned it up so it fit the girl like a dress. He stood with Erin still wrapped in his embrace. "We're leaving."

Billy shook his head, not because he wished to stop them but because he felt actual regret at what had been done. "I wish that was possible. But don't you see we are all prisoners here?"

"If you're a prisoner then how did you do this?" Tyrol countered. "How did you get Erin and us here without the others knowing?"

"They know. They knew the second you arrived. They sent you here to me because they believed you might be able to help unlock her memories of Earth's position. They still maintain that she holds the secret to Earth. It's the only reason you're still alive. I'm sorry but there is no real escape for any of us," Billy lamented.

Lee wasn't sure what to make of the Cylon and his apparent regret. Frankly he didn't have time to think about it. "I'm afraid I'm not taking no for an answer. I've had enough of this and I'm getting off this ship. If you want to try and stop us, feel free. But the girl comes with me," Lee looked down into Erin's eyes and saw the absolute trust in them. "She lives with me, or she dies with me," he concluded.

D'anna was instantly at Lee's side. "I'm coming with you," she declared. Tyrol and Tigh stood with them as well.

"You won't be able to fight them all," Sam made his way toward the group. "I'd like to help."

"As would I," Tory joined their odd gathering.

Billy came to stand in front of Lee. "There is no true death for us, only more of this vicious circle."

"Would you stop speaking in riddles!" Lee shouted, startling the girl in his arms. He ran a hand over her back to sooth her as he stared into Billy's eyes. Lee saw the smallest bit of humanity that shown through in them. "You are either with us, or against us."

Billy didn't hesitate in his answer. "I'm with you." He quickly punched in a command code to open the doors. He felt a tickle at the back of his brain. "They already know I'm helping you," he informed the others, wishing he had the ability that some of them had developed to shield their minds from the collective. At the moment, he'd have to make due with what he could control. He glanced out into the corridor. "This way," he motioned for them to follow.

Lee and Tigh jogged beside one another down the corridor. "Is this really going to work?" Tigh asked.

"I seriously doubt it," Lee replied as they continued on.

xxx

Kara felt the tension in her body subside as her Viper lurched forward in one last awkward maneuver. It was like a small hiccup compared to the past three hours that she'd endured. Finding her way through the vortex had been an instinctual thing the first time through; somehow she'd just known the way. Leading the others with her bread crumbs had been a far more arduous task.

"Galactica, this is Starbuck, do you read?" she opened the comm. There was no way to know for sure if her signals had reached them. The whole fleet could be completely lost. She held her breath for a moment, knowing they should have been through by now.

She checked her dradis. "I repeat, this is Starbuck. Galactica, do you read?" her Viper swung around as she did a manual search of the swirling mist with her own two eyes. The white-blue clouds suddenly burst brighter for a split second. Then she spotted Galactica as it emerged. Kara had never been so happy to see the old ship before.

"_This is Galactica," Dualla's voice responded at last. "We read you. Why haven't you transferred the next set of coordinates?" she asked._

She smiled as she pointed her ship toward the large planet that was sitting to her port side. The giant red spot, as the Earthlings called it, stared back at her. Kara knew it as the eye. It was the first sight she'd seen upon her initial visit and it still thrilled her. "We don't need any more coordinates because we're there," she finally replied.

"_There?" it was the admiral's voice that responded. "Where is there, exactly?"_

Starbuck shouldn't have been surprised that he was still looking for confirmation. "A few planets away from the main event, sir," she quickly relayed. "We should wait for the others to make it through before we set course for Earth," she suggested, hoping that all ships would be through in short order. Kara had been plagued by thoughts of her daughter the entire trip and she was itching to get back to Lee as soon as possible. "Galactica, I'll be on deck in a few minutes."

"_Acknowledged, Starbuck."_

Three more of the longest hours of their lives passed by after that, as they waited for the rest of the fleet and their allied Cylons to arrive. It should have been long enough for all ships to come through, but a few still remained unaccounted for. Adama paced the CIC as Kara and Helo stood close by.

Athena and Hotdog's teams were back but Racetrack, one Cylon base star and the Farmington, a large freighter class vessel used as a boarding ship, were missing. By all accounts, Racetrack had stayed behind when the Farmington relayed a distress beacon. Another ship had taken up her lead. No one was sure what had become of the Cylon vessel.

"Helo, I want two Raptors and one Viper squadron to maintain position here. The rest of us will proceed to Earth," Adama ordered. As Helo went about executing the order, the old man turned to Kara. "You've gotten us this far…" he instructed her to proceed with a wave of his hand toward the war table.

Kara laid out the star charts she had reconstructed from memory. Gaeta stood beside her and watched intently as she mapped out a course. He then went about instigating her route as the rest of them continued to hold their breath. Their journey was not yet over.

"Admiral," Kara watched him closely, she could see the stress was beginning to get to him. She pulled him aside so the others wouldn't hear. "I'd like it if you took a walk with me. Please," she added the last bit and could see the surprise in his eyes. Amazingly he nodded an agreement.

"Helo, CIC is yours," he told the younger man. "Earth is finally within our reach. Let's be sure to get there safely."

Helo nodded and Starbuck smirked at her good friend as she led the Admiral out of the room. They walked for a short time in silence until she couldn't stand it any longer. "Sir, I need to tell you something," she blurted out the rest before she lost her nerve. "I love your son."

Adama nearly stopped mid-step but kept himself in control, trying not to let her words shake him. "And he feels the same for you?"

"Yes," she answered, not getting any sort of feel on the old man's mood.

He nodded as they continued to walk. "I guess I've know that for a while now," he confessed. "I guess I didn't want to see it."

"Neither did I," Kara replied. "I tried to avoid it myself for as long as possible," she revealed, still not sure why she'd started the whole conversation. All she knew was that they finally needed to set things straight, or at least as straight as they could get. "Will you try to stop us?"

"Could I?" Adama shook his head. "You both seem to do what you want despite my demands."

"But it won't mean as much if you can't be happy for us," Kara continued as they rounded the corner. She suspected that he knew where they were headed, but the conversation remained focused. "Lee has accepted me for who I am and I've done the same for him. We spent too long trying to dance around each other, waiting for the perfect moment. It never came. So we carved out a moment, and we're not looking back. It won't mean as much if you're not on our side, but it won't stop us."

The admiral could tell he wouldn't win any protest he tried to put up against her. "So, you'll find a place on Earth together and that will be that," he stated.

She rolled her eyes. "That's Lee's plan. I never thought I'd do happy family, but he wants it so badly and I want Erin to have what I didn't. So, if that's what it takes to please them both, then yes." Kara concluded.

A sigh escaped his lips. "We fight the Cylons for years, now we live with them, fall in love with them and raise their children," Adama tried to wrap his head around the way things had changed.

Kara stopped just outside the door of her destination. His words had sparked her defenses to rise. "She is _just _a child, an innocent bystander to all this. I already put too much on her shoulders to bear and I will not let you make her feel inferior. Lee loves her and we will ignore you until the day you die if you can't accept her in our lives as well."

His hands raised toward her, open palmed. "I didn't mean…" he sighed again, realizing how his words must have come off. "I know what she is and isn't. I do not believe she is evil or that she was created to destroy us. I will never think that again," it was a promise. He hoped she could understand that.

Her face softened a little. Erin would always be her first goal and it was killing her to stand on Galactica knowing her daughter was still in grave danger. But there were a few things to be done before she could return; one of which just came to mind. "It almost sounds like you _have_ accepted her?" she asked.

"I think maybe I have," he replied, not realizing it himself until he'd spoken the words.

She jutted her chin out at him. "Then why is it so hard for you to accept Tigh or the chief?" Kara let her hammer fall.

He shook his head. "That's different."

"Why? Because they lied?" she wasn't afraid to push him further. "Sharon lied to you, more than once. I've lied to you a dozen times over, so has the president and Lee. We all lie. We all keep things to ourselves at times. You lied to the entire fleet about Earth," Kara threw that one back at him again.

"I did that to protect us all, to protect the morale of this fleet. I did it because I thought it was the right thing," he maintained.

Kara smiled. "I don't think any of us wake up in the morning hoping to do the _wrong_ thing," she countered. "But sometimes things get off track and don't happen the way we planned. At the start of this war we knew who our enemy was. Then the enemy was altered, they took on familiar faces and now some of them are not our enemy at all," she pointed out the obvious. "The only constant in life is change."

Her voice grew softer but still as firm. "I know you still care because I saw how much you wanted Colonel Tigh in CIC during our last battle," Kara noted. "But you think showing any sort of emotion makes you weak. Well, you're wrong," she watched him a second. "Being afraid to show you care is what makes you weak. It took me a long time to realize that."

Without another word, she finally opened the door and stepped inside. Her perfect timing pleased Kara as she watched the blue-green planet slowly grow larger in the windows of the observation lounge. She remembered coming there shortly after returning to Galactica, and sitting with Lee and Erin, feeling safe again after such a long time.

Adama stood behind her, his eyes wide as he examined the planet from a distance. He didn't need her to tell him it was Earth, he just knew. And something shifted inside as he took his first good look at the planet they would all hopefully call home soon. His life suddenly seemed infinitely less significant for some reason.

In the calm white cloud cover and the blue of oceans he saw the future; a life of waking in the morning to a sunrise and watching the sun set again in the evening. He imagined building model ships in a small den in the home he would have. He envisioned taking walks with green grass beneath his feet and blue sky above his head.

He loved the stars, he loved Galactica and he loved the power of being in command. But he never knew how much he missed the art of living until it had all been taken from them in an instant. And now he longed for the simple things again. "Change can be a hard thing for an old man to understand," he whispered as Kara turned toward him. "But it's something this old man would like to learn," he added.

She smiled warmly, feeling some of her tension fade. Her eyes turned curious as she spotted a figure at the entrance. Kara watched as the woman slowly made her way toward them. Adama took notice of her expression and turned to find Roslin at his side. There was shock in his eyes but mostly there was relief.

"What are you doing up?" he asked as he guided her toward a seat. She was dressed as smartly as she could in the same old clothes she'd been wearing for years. On the outside she looked the same picture of the confident leader that she always exuded. But her voice betrayed the exterior shell.

"I had an odd dream," the president spoke distantly as she stared at the planet before them. "Is that really…"

The Admiral nodded. "We made it, we got them to Earth," he confirmed. But even in the excitement of the moment his face fell as a small voice whispered in his head. It was Saul's words that echoed in his mind. _Not all of them_. That's when he realized that Earth was not his victory alone. It belonged to all of them; Laura, Lee, Kara, Athena, the chief… Saul. It also didn't mean nearly as much without all of them at his side.

"I have been such a fool," he realized.

Before Laura or Starbuck could think to comment on his words, a phone on the far wall of the room chimed. Kara went to it and was greeted by Helo's voice over the line. She gave him an instruction then hung up and turned the overhead comm. system on so they could all hear the message coming through.

"_This is the President of the United Earth Space Alliance," a man's deep voice sounded in their ears. "I understand I'm speaking to the lead ship?" he asked. _

With practiced ease, the old man replied as if he spoke to other worlds on a daily basis. "This is Admiral William Adama of the Colonial Battlestar Galactica," he stood as he spoke, pushing aside his regrets for a moment. They all looked to the planet as it continued to grow in their view window. He and the president could hardly believe that they were speaking to someone from Earth. Their lost thirteenth colony was finally a reality.

"_Admiral, it's a pleasure," the man replied. "I know this may be a slightly odd first question, but I was wondering if you happen to know a Captain Kara Thrace?" he asked._

Adama nodded as he turned to Starbuck. "I know her alright," he answered. "She's standing right next to me," he revealed.

Kara stood quietly for a moment before the voice's owner finally came rushing back to her. "Benjamin Shay? Is that really you?" her tone was filled with surprise and familiarity. "I can't believe they made you the fraking president," she chuckled.

_Laughter filled the comm. as the man joined her. "Well, I have a big mouth. Apparently it gets me noticed."_

"Funny, mine only seems to get me in trouble," Kara replied as Adama and Roslin listened to the friendly banter with curiosity. Obviously the captain had not told them everything of her visit and the relationships she had formed on Earth. Not that they'd given her stories of Earth much attention.

"_We were starting to wonder if your entire visit was just a dream we'd had. You've been gone nearly a year," Shay pointed out. His voice grew more serious than it had been before. "Not that we could blame you for staying away. You don't know how sorry we still are about your last visit."_

Kara was thankful of his words as she tried not to think about Erin too deeply at the moment. "I've learned to look past a few people's actions having an affect on the whole," she assured him. It was all she felt necessary to say. "Sorry we took so long, ran into a bit of trouble," Kara decided to leave it at that.

"President Shay," Roslin interrupted. "This is President Laura Roslin. On behalf of the Colonial people, I'd like to ask for asylum on your planet," she boldly relayed her request. She'd always had confidence in her actions, but now everything she'd done and sacrificed along the way suddenly seemed worth it.

"_Understood," Shay acknowledged. "I'm afraid there will be a bit of red tape to swim through, but we've been preparing for this for a while. You will be transmitted coordinates in which to land. We suggest shuttle transports for now, as we do not know the entire inventory of your fleet or if we'll have room for them all…"_

He paused and they could hear another whispered voice over the line. Shay's laughter erupted again. "I must apologize, I seem to have forgotten protocol. I'm still new to all this," he relayed, clearing his throat. "On behalf of the UESA and the people of Earth, we welcome you."

The three of them enjoyed the power of his words for a silent moment as the comm. cut out. Unfortunately, they knew there was still much to be done. "I'd like to be on the first shuttle," Laura announced. She noticed the look of concern on Adama's face. "Cottle has already cleared me," her tone relayed that she had most likely given the doc very little choice in the matter.

"Starbuck…" Adama turned to her.

"I can't go down there, sir," Kara didn't let him finish. "I have to go back, you know I do."

He nodded. "I know that there will be a lot of disorder on the flight deck with all of the shuttles coming and going. If you happened to find a Viper to take out, I don't see how anyone would notice in all that confusion."

"No, sir. I don't think they would," she agreed.

Adama's hand moved to her shoulder and he looked her in the eye. "I know I have no right to ask anything of you after all that you've done here. But please… bring them home," the old man whispered.

Kara grinned. "I intend to, sir," she made her way toward the hatch but was stopped just short of leaving.

"Captain Thrace," Roslin called out to her. The woman took a deep breath. "This fleet owes you a dept of gratitude," she finally continued. "And on a personal note… I was wrong for not believing in you," Laura confessed.

Starbuck simply shrugged. "The past is already forgotten," she replied, not seeing a reason to dwell on it all. "We have a future to look forward to now. Maybe even a bright, shiny one," her smile returned.

"Yes, thanks to you," the president replied.

"And you," Kara quickly added. She turned and flashed the admiral another grin. "And you." With those final words she ducked out of the room and was gone in a hurry.

Roslin chuckled. "I do believe that young woman grew up while we weren't looking," she commented.

Adama's head bobbed in agreement. He'd been thinking the very same thing. "And apparently so did my son," he spoke with a wistful tone. "Now they have a child of their own to raise." The old man truly hoped that the little girl was safe.

Laura took his hand in hers as they continued to watch Earth for a few minutes. "And what will you do now that you have no children to worry over?" she asked of him.

"I will always worry about my children," Adama noted. Worry filled his head at that very moment, as he knew there was still no guarantee that Lee would make it back to them. He turned a sad smile her way. "But I thought I might add you permanently to my worry list as well."

A blush of color came to her cheeks. "Admiral, you have such a way with words," Laura teased. Her eyes turned serious. "About this being alive business…"

He stopped her before she could bark at him. "I've decided not to apologize for the decision Cottle and I made," Adama began. "You see, I got to thinking about all this dying leader _hooey_," he liked the smile that returned to her face, invoked by his use of her grandmother's term. "I figured since we were well on our way to Earth, you really didn't need to die." He swallowed a nervous lump in his throat. "Mostly my reasons were selfish, though. I did it because I love you." The words came surprisingly easier than he had anticipated.

Her face was unreadable. "Well, that's good," Laura replied.

"Good?" It was not exactly the word he'd been hoping for after what he'd revealed.

A smile quickly bloomed as she could not tease him any further. "Yes, good," she nodded. "Because I love you too." Laura watched happily as the tension receded from his taught limbs. The wall between president and admiral finally crumbled to the ground as they stood there; simply as a man and a woman. His hand moved from hers to gently rest upon her cheek as their lips easily found one another.

Their embrace ended all too soon, both knowing duty called. She reached for his hand again as they slowly edged toward the door. The memories of her dream were confusing but one thing remained clear in Billy's message; there was still hope that everything would be alright. All of which meant she couldn't let the old man off quite so easily. "Please don't think this means you will win every argument from here on out."

Adama grinned like a fool even as he knew they would face more hurdles ahead. He liked the permanence that her words promised. It meant they'd jump those hurdles together. "Of course not," he replied as they made their way toward the flight deck.

xxx

Billy ushered the group into a room that Lee instantly recognized from his previous visit aboard a Cylon base star. He turned to the Cylon with anger coursing through his veins. "What is this? You trapped us in your command center?" Putting even an ounce of trust in the Cylon had been a risk he was starting to regret.

The cylon shook his head defiantly. "With D'anna's help, I created a diversion; a false lead," he explained. "They will figure out the signal is a fake soon enough, though."

"Then why didn't you get us to a transport instead?" Tigh questioned.

"I figure this is the best transport we could have," Billy explained. "Any cylon can run any aspect of a base star, even you could," he informed the colonel. "It leaves us far less vulnerable than a Human crew. A Cylon ship can also run for days without anyone at command, which is why they would easily flee the area now in hopes of finding us."

Lee felt more than a little uncomfortable but once again placed his trust in those he knew could turn on him at any moment. There didn't seem to be much other choice. "The other two base stars, are they friend or foe?" he questioned; though he had a fairly good idea of the answer already.

"Both are enemy ships," Sam answered as he made himself useful and opened a weapons locker. He handed out weapons to Tigh, Tory and the others.

"If we can hold them off, we should be able to destroy one of those ships out there," D'anna took control of the command area, seeing that Billy was not much of a soldier. She looked around the room at those gathered. "But by that time, they'll know we're against them. I have to tell you right now that this battle may not end well for any of us."

"I kind of figured that, but at least maybe we can make it a one on one fight," Lee drew little assurance from that hope. He set Erin down and grabbed two guns from Sam. He tucked one behind his back and the other rested in his right hand. He looked to Tyrol. "I want you to stay here with D'anna and Erin," he informed the man. He looked down at the girl. "I want you to protect her with your dying breath if you have to, as if she were your own."

Tyrol didn't have to think long on the instructions. All he needed was to picture his son in his mind and he knew there was only one choice to be made. "You have my word."

"Good," Lee squatted down to face Erin at eye level. "I know you've had to be very brave. Just a little bit longer and all of this will be over," his mind screamed the words, _one way or another. _But he remained hopeful for her sake. "Tyrol will keep you safe, okay?"

Erin nodded as her arms wrapped around his neck. Lee listened as she whispered three words in his ear. He knew that if he had any other choice in the universe he wouldn't be leaving her. Her sweet voice echoed in his head as he kissed her on the cheek. "I love you too," Lee replied as he stood and immediately fled the room.

Saul followed closely at his side again. Billy and Tory trailed behind while Sam took up the rear position. The base star rocked as they fired weapons upon everything that moved.

In short order, they were pinned down in a small room that Lee could not determine any sort of use for. Most of the ship had little to no furnishings. It was almost eerie, like a ghost ship he remembered from an old Colonial tale his father had once told him. Memories of his father suddenly filled his head. He'd heard of life flashing before you as death was inevitable.

Regrets plagued him but there was nothing more to be done except to see it through to the end. He and Saul ventured forward into the hall as the others found a passage around back, hoping to surprise the remaining Cylons from behind. They took on heavy fire and held out as long as they could. Saul suddenly felt a buzzing in his ear and could hear D'anna's voice.

"_We've destroyed one base star, the other is coming about. We're taking heavy fire,"_ her tone was calm in the heat of battle. That was one aspect they had not hotwired into Tigh's brain. "Two more are approaching from behind!" he shouted to Lee, thankful for the small degree of Cylon interfacing he had in his brain. It did come in handy, though he was having a hell of a time getting the hang of using it.

Lee turned and took both Centurions out. He heard the click of his weapon and realized it was empty just as a third model approached. His hand made contact with the gun at his back, but not before the Centurion's bullets hit their mark. Pain screamed up his left leg, causing him to fall against the hard metal decking.

He felt a hand grasp his ankle and knew he was being pulled away. Lee realized it was Billy who had drug him into a nearby alcove space in the corridor. "Where's Colonel Tigh?" Lee asked as he sat up and tried to take note of the situation.

"He's fighting like he doesn't give a damn if he survives or not," Billy shouted in reply as he ripped a piece of his shirt and wrapped it around Lee's leg wound. "It's suicidal out there." It seemed a funny comment coming from a man who probably had more copies running around out there somewhere.

"We can't leave him," Lee got to his feet and wobbled a second as his head cleared. He finally got a firm grasp on the second gun and without a moment's hesitation he threw himself back into the fray. He watched as Tigh emptied his final clip into the metal carcass of a fallen Centurion. Then the colonel twisted and yanked the machine's arm off and bolted back to their position.

"Figure there must be some way to make this thing work for us," Tigh examined the weapon.

Billy did his best to provide cover fire. "Yeah, if you rip out your own arm and attach that one, maybe," he joked.

Lee watched with horrified awe as Tigh did pretty much that. The man cut into his arm with a sharp bit of metal off the Cylon weapon and proceeded to jam the wires up under his skin, having no idea what would happen. They were all surprised when the metal arm sprang to life with a shrieking sound and instantly resumed its previous automatic firing mode.

They left the sanctuary of their alcove, pressing forward. Saul carried the weapon at an odd angle, doing his best to position the thing like a gun toward the enemy. The three of them rushed down the hall and were caught off guard when a bomb blast rocked them to their feet. When the dust settled they found Sam standing over them with a proud grin on his face.

'What do you say we get the frak out of here," he suggested as he helped Lee back toward the command chamber.

"They've knocked out FLT," D'anna threw the news at them as soon as they reentered the area. Tyrol was at her side, doing what he could to help, which wasn't much. Erin sat huddled in a corner. "We have weapons but our engines are dead," she let them know.

"Then we get to a transport ship," Tyrol suggested.

"And what?" Lee asked. "We'll be an even smaller sitting duck," he noted.

"Doesn't this thing have a self destruct sequence?" Tigh asked. "We could lure them in and set it then run for the transport," he felt it was a good plan.

D'anna nodded. "Not a bad plan, except the autodestruct was damaged. It would have to be done manually," she watched as the realization of her words hit them. They all knew exactly what that meant.

"So I die again," Sam shrugged. "I can live with that," he smirked.

"If we destroy both ships, there will be no other base stars out there," Tory piped up, her voice hitched with emotion. "You wouldn't download. You'd really die," she pointed out, a look of sorrow shown in her eyes.

Saul noticed it. The fraking Cylons were in love and it was completely ridiculous, yet it got to him for some reason. He looked around at those gathered. Lee and the girl, the admiral and Kara would never be the same if they were lost. Tyrol had a wife and son to get back to as well. He knew Roslin would be shocked as hell to see Billy again but he suspected they'd find their way to friendship again. And D'anna was a hell of a leader. She'd helped bring about peace and he knew they needed her sort of leadership on the other side.

All of which left him. "Get ready to launch the heavy raider," Saul pushed D'anna away from the command consol. "All of you, get the frak off this ship," he growled.

No one moved. "No," Lee protested, realizing what was going on. "My father wouldn't want you to…"

The colonel got in the young man's face. "Your father would rather have you around than a washed up old drunk like me. This isn't up for discussion, I am still your superior officer," his voice was gruff but filled with conflicting emotions. He shook his head. "I don't care if this is the end. I think one shot at life is plenty. Now go!" he shouted, pushing Lee away.

The others followed his order. Lee scooped Erin up and stood there for a long moment. Tigh's jaw twitched as he stared the younger Adama down, silently begging him to go. Apollo swallowed the lump in his throat and finally made a quick exit, running to catch up with the others.

Saul turned to the task, remembering Billy's words about how even he could run the ship. He eyed the pink substance, having seen the others use the odd interface before. He hesitantly placed his hand and felt a sudden wooziness flood him. He held onto the edge of the consol with his free hand.

After a brief moment everything came into focus. He could see every aspect of the vessel's working functions. He knew exactly how to set the destruct mechanism. He knew the exact second that the raider was free from the ship and he set the shortest countdown possible. The numbers ticked by in his head.

Five, four, three…

Her face filled his vision, smiling the way he remembered just before she'd died. She'd known death was coming and now so did he. "I'm so sorry Ellen," he whispered.

Two…

"But I think I finally got it right in the end."

One.

xxx

Lee held on to Erin as the heavy raider shook, a massive shock wave crashing into their hull. He knew what it meant and a tear came unbidden to his cheek. Erin sat there on his lap in Tigh's uniform. She brushed the moisture from his face and cuddled up. The others were all quiet as they waited for word on the outcome of the colonel's sacrifice.

"Both ships appear to have been completely destroyed," D'anna's voice was solemn as she relayed the news. "There are no signs of life out there…" an alarm beeped, interrupting her.

"What is that?" Tyrol asked

D'anna quickly studied and deciphered the data as it scrolled past her eyes. "Four ships have just entered the sector," she finally replied.

"More Cylons?" Sam questioned.

She nodded. "One is a base star but… it's transmitting a colonial signal. They all are; a Raptor, a large freighter class ship and a…" again she was cut off, this time by a familiar voice that filtered over the raider's comm. system.

"_This is Starbuck. Lee, if you're out there… please let me know."_

Erin's eyes lit up. "Mama!"

Some laughed with relief. Tyrol and Sam slapped each other on the back. Lee felt like crying again as he shared in the girl's excitement. Despite the tragedy they'd just endured; Erin's innocent enthusiasm and Starbuck's return helped them all to believe there was still a future ahead.

* * *

**To be continued…**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any rights to the _Battlestar Galactica_ universe.

**All is not Lost  
****Epilogue**

By N. J. Borba

* * *

The grass was green beneath his feet, the sun was just starting to fade into night and a few stars were beginning to peek out at the remaining daylight. He stood at one end of the memorial, surrounded by the twelve monoliths. Each one was carved at the top and inlaid with shimmering moonstone in the shape of the ancient colonial star signs. Adama moved closer to the one directly in front of him.

Names of the dead stared back at him, etched into the rough dark surface of the stone. Saul's name always greeted him first as his eyes drew right to it. Ellen's name resided just beside him. The old man was certain that's how his friend would have wanted it. His hand ran along the letters as he recalled the past year of their lives.

A lot had happened. President Shay's red tape had taken a good deal of time to work through but in the end they were all welcomed to Earth, Cylon and Colonial alike. They settled into several communities around the planet. They'd taken jobs, found homes and managed to fit in with amazing ease. Even he had settled down, finding a small cabin by a lake to share with his wife.

It hadn't taken him and Laura long to make that commitment. They both knew they didn't have as many years ahead of them as they did behind. Both planned not to waste any more of their time. Her cancer stayed in remission and Earth scientists were very interesting in further tests of the Cylon pathogens that had caused her recovery.

Baltar was not one of those doctors; in fact, very little had been heard from the man after landing on Earth. All Adama knew was that he lived with one of the Six's in seclusion. The Cylons as a whole had a lot to contemplate in regard to living. There was still policy being hashed out over their cloning process and whether or not they should be allowed to continue. Some models had already specified not to be downloaded when their 'natural' lives ended.

Peace held between them all and everything was good for the most part. But every morning the old man awoke with one regret still resting in his heart. His hand continued to trace the outline of Saul's name. Of all the wrongs he'd committed, the biggest was shutting his friend out upon first learning of his Cylon background. And he'd never gotten the chance to apologize.

"You have to forgive yourself," his wife's voice brought him around.

The old man's hand fell to his side as he turned to face her. "How can I when he…"

Laura rested a hand on his forearm. "He's already forgiven you," she confidently replied. She watched as the confusion clouded his eyes. "He forgave you over a year ago when he made sure they made it home to you," Laura pointed across the field to where Lee and Kara stood beside one of the stone memorials.

Adama smiled as he caught sight of the little girl standing between them. She'd grown a lot in the past year. He remembered when Lee and Kara had landed on Earth. His son had been carrying the girl in his arms, even as he hobbled on a wounded leg. And the child had been wearing Saul's uniform shirt. He'd known in that instant that his friend was gone.

"The time for grieving is over now," Laura again roused him from his thoughts. "We're here for another reason today," she took his hand and led him over to the small gathering.

The children were running around in circles, through the tall grass and circumnavigating each stone. Laura stopped and watched them for a moment, remembering her dream. Someone bumped into her, causing her to wobble. "I'm so sorry…" she looked up to see Billy standing there in front of her, the rest of his words stuck in his throat. He stared down at her with a shy look.

"We were just playing a game," he pointed over his shoulder to where Hera, Erin and Nicholas were standing, waiting for him.

A reassuring smile came to her face. "I know," Laura replied. She watched again and listened to the children's shrieks of laughter as Billy rejoined the fun. It had been a shock to see him step off the ship behind Lee and Kara a year ago. But she'd learned one very important thing along her journey; when to rule with an iron fist and when to forgive and forget. She and Billy were slowly working to rekindle the close friendship they'd once shared.

Helo whistled across the field to catch everyone's attention. Sharon, Cally and Tyrol managed to corral the children in as everyone gathered at the center of the memorial. Cylon and Human stood together to share the special moment. Lee and Kara had decided on a marriage ceremony that combined both Colonial and Earth traditions. It was a simple service to be shared with all of those, alive and dead, who had sacrificed so that they could be there to celebrate.

Adama and Laura joined the group just in time. The woman presiding was a Colonial priestess who had been ordained in one of Earth's major religions. "We are gathered here today to unite Lee Adama and Kara Thrace in the sacrament of marriage," she looked to those gathered. "Who gives these two to be married?"

"I do," Adama stepped forward and stood between his children. He looked first to his son. "Lee, I… there are so many things to be said. But all I really want you to know is that you mean more to me than you'll ever know. I'm sorry I couldn't always show that," he pulled his son into an embrace, which Lee found easy to return. "I love you, son."

A heavy sigh of relief escaped Lee's lungs. "I love you too," he confessed.

The old man pulled out of the hug and turned. "Kara…"

"Could you please just yell at me, sir?" she chuckled nervously. It was bad enough Lee had gotten her to agree to the rather formal ceremony. She didn't think she could handle the old man making her cry. "I really hate the mushy stuff," Kara tried to keep an even keel to her voice. There was no one else in the universe whose acceptance she sought more than his.

"So do I," Adama admitted. "But sometimes we don't always get what we wish for," he moved forward a step and wrapped his arms around her. He held tight for a long moment, and then whispered in her ear. "And sometimes we do," he released her and placed her hand in his son's. His own hand rested atop theirs. Then he faced the priestess.

"I give my children over to be married, freely and with my blessing," Adama announced. He moved off to the side, ready to watch the rest of the ceremony as a proud father. He looked down to find Erin staring up at him, wide eyed and with a curious look that reminded him of Starbuck the first time they'd ever met.

"Hi," she spoke the word so softly that he barely caught it. He never thought anything so simple could thrill him so much.

In her voice he realized the truth of Laura's words. Saul's forgiveness stood beside him in the form of a little girl, his granddaughter. He hadn't saved them all but he'd preserved a slice of history that would be a lesson to all the children. As long as courage and hope dwelled in one's heart, all was not lost. As long as man made mistakes and learned from them, life would continue. As long as forgiveness could be found within, there would be peace.

He reached out a hand toward the child and smiled as she grasped his pinky finger. "Hello," he whispered back.

* * *

**The End**

_Thank you to all the readers and to those who reviewed. I hope you all enjoyed this journey as much as I did._


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